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When You Quit Drinking, You Are Your Biggest Enabler

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When You Quit Drinking, You Are Your Biggest Enabler

In quitting alcohol circles, people talk a lot about enablers and they identify people as enablers – “This person is an enabler, that person is an enabler, you’re enabling this behaviour in other people.” When you hear people talking about an intervention, they say “This person is enabling that behaviour and that person is enabling that behaviour.” But, look at the end of the day, let’s get real here.

The biggest enabler in any drinker’s life is themselves. You.

They are or you are, responsible for enabling everything. It’s not the environment; it’s not other people; it’s themselves! Everything else is an excuse.

You can convince yourself the blame lies with other people for the problems you have and what they are doing to you

You can say to yourself “If it wasn’t for those people and what they were doing to me, or what they are  saying, you wouldn’t be doing what you were doing.” Bullshit! Right!

You can say to yourself  “If I wasn’t in the environment that I am in, I wouldn’t be doing this.” And you know, it is true that it is tougher to quit drinking alcohol in some environments, it is tougher to stay sane and to keep going and to keep pushing yourself forwards. It’s a lot tougher – a lot tougher – around certain people to do that.

However, if you go down the road of drinking alcohol, if you do down the road of taking any other drug – your chances of getting away from that person or changing your environment or changing anything about your life that is apparently causing you to do this to yourself – get slimmer. It’s what Alan Carr talks about when he talks about this slippery slope into the picture plan. This is part of that process.

We use alcohol as a tool to overcome problems in our life, but it never actually overcomes anything. All that happens is that we suck ourselves deeper and deeper into the quick sand of the alcohol life.

So, you enable all this type of shit.
You enable yourself through your drinking, excuses and behaviour.
You enable yourself with the excuse of why you drink and why you don’t stop drinking.
The only person who every puts this stuff into your mouth is you.
The only person who can every stop putting this stuff into your mouth is you.
You are your biggest enabler.

This enabling thing of – this person is enabling this person or this person – is not causing you to drink. These people have their own lives, their own problems, they have their own pictures of the world and their own way of dealing with life. It’s not your thing. They’re not responsible for you no matter how close they are to you, whether they are your Parents, Siblings, Husband or Wife. They are not responsible for you.

You are responsible for your own actions. It all boils down to the same, same, same thing. You and your responsibility. Your ability to respond and it’s almost …. let me show you this.

These creatures that I’m showing you are called Processional Caterpillars (The video shows the Processional Caterpillars attached to each other in a row) You can see them moving across the track now and they are just following each other. That’s what they do and that is like our society, one following another one, following another.

You will see these Processional Caterpillars sometimes, just going around in a circle and what’s happened is that the leader of the group, has caught up with the back of the group, he’s gone around in a circle and he then attaches himself to the back of the other one forming a ring. And these Caterpillars continue walking around in a circle until they die. You often see a whole ring of them just dead on the ground or a whole pile of them, dead on the ground, because they’ve lost direction all together.

That’s one of the best simile for an alcohol user, for our Society and Alcohol users in general. It’s amazing in that we do the same thing and keep doing the same thing, following the same path and we’re like that perpetually spinning circle or that heap of caterpillars just waiting to die, doing the same fucking shit. Poisoning ourselves with no direction. It’s sad.

You only get out of that by being an individual, being responsible and, that’s what this whole Video is about, taking responsible for your actions.

You are responsible, fair enough, for your children until they grow to a certain age and then they get their own responsibilities. My Son has a Daughter now, it’s wonderful and I see the change in him. When you have a child and you find that are all of a sudden responsible for this young, defenceless Baby, it is a light switch moment in a person’s life.

That’s proper responsibility. When you’re a Baby you haven’t got any responsibility for yourself, you can’t respond for yourself. You gradually develop your responses as you grow older and you develop these things and your ability to respond to different situations develops, but as a fully grown, long pants wearing human being – you are responsible for everything that you do in life.

You are responsible for the food and drink that you put into your body, how you treat your body and how you treat your mind over the years. You are responsible for all of these things and you’ve got nobody else to blame but yourself. If you have a bad behaviour that you want to get rid of in your life, don’t look outside of yourself. You are your biggest enabler. You’re the biggest excuse maker. The biggest drinker. The biggest, whatever it is in your life.

You are the person that has the ability to either do it for yourself or not to do it for yourself and don’t make excuses, don’t pass the buck, don’t pass the blame to anyone else – because there is no one to pass the blame to. It’s all your responsibility.

It doesn’t matter about your upbringing, your Parents, Brothers, Sisters or your Friends or your environment, it doesn’t matter about any of that, because all of that can be changed. At the end of the day it all boils down to the one simple thing.

If you want to stop drinking alcohol, you simply don’t put the stuff into your mouth any more. It’s as simple as that.

There is no excuse, it makes no difference what that person said or did to you, or what your past was, your present is or what you think your future is going to be, because none of that will change anything about this, the only thing that’s going to change anything about the drinking is you not putting the stuff into your mouth. Everything else is an excuse.

So, stop making the excuses. Some wondering why you’re doing this and wondering why you keep putting this stuff into your mouth. Stop psychoanalysing everything or thinking in to everything. Stop wondering why and if you should moderate or not moderate. Whether you should quit or not quit. At the end of the day it all boils down to one thing, the alcohol going into your mouth and that causes the behaviour, it causes the habits, it’s causes the rituals, it causes the problems.

If you try and put things off and say “Well, I’ll try to moderate” then all you’re doing is prolonging the misery and suffering. This is a drug we’re talking about, it’s not a piece of Candy or a four-cheese pizza, this is a drug and if you take that drug it’s going to act like a drug in your body. That’s it” Period! So, stop putting it in.

Stay safe, keep the alcohol out of your mouth – keep the alcohol out of your mouth – don’t put it in.

If you don’t put it init can’t have any effect to you. If you don’t put it in – it won’t do you any damage.
If you don’t put it inyou won’t be addicted to the stuff.
If you don’t put it inyou’ll have more money in your pocket, more health and better relationships.


Until next time...
Onwards and Upwards!

There is only one person responsible for the quality of your life - that person is you.

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About The Author

Kevin O'Hara

If you want help quitting drinking alcohol, I recommend you join our Mastermind Coaching Program. Here you will find all the help you need with daily exclusive informative videos, Q&A's, and monthly Roundtables on relevant topics. The Mastermind Coaching Group has many supportive members at various stages of their journey. Here you'll find non-judgemental motivation, support, and accountability. Click here for more information.

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