When you’re trying to quit drinking alcohol there comes a time when you have to stop talking and start doing.
Today, I want to talk about when is the time that thinking about it is enough?
You’ve done enough thinking about it and weighing up the different angles, and there comes a time for doing.
I’m talking about moving forward here.
If you’ve been looking at my videos for a while, if you’ve been looking on the internet for help in quitting drinking, then I don’t think you need any more convincing.
You might be talking to yourself and trying to convince yourself that your problem is not as bad as it first sounded, but that’s only excuses.
There is no doubt that alcohol is bad for you.
No amount of alcohol is good for you.
If you’re watching this video, then you’re drinking more than small amounts of alcohol.
You’re drinking a lot.
That’s habitual behaviour.
It’s a problem.
I think if you did too much talking before you stop drinking alcohol, it’s all about trying to convince yourself that you don’t need to do it.
Because if you need to do it, if you’re a 100% sure that alcohol is shit, no good for you, it’s not going to offer you anything but misery, then there’s no argument.
Just quit now, end of story.
So all the faffing about quitting drinking is all designed in your mind to try and convince you otherwise, that you don’t need to do it.
This is basically excuse making.
What I’m talking about is stopping talking and starting the process moving forward of actually doing something in your life, of transferring all this energy that you used to put into drinking alcohol an finding excuses to drink and you put that into something that is moving you forward, something that is going to give you something better in life.
When you’re still talking, it boils down to one thing: you haven’t made a decision.
All talking, all thinking on this level is sort of an internal or external debate going on about the positives and negative of doing something.
Procrastination is what it is, putting things off by more internal conversation.
It’s not going to take you anywhere.
You have to take a decision and go for it.
Most of the time, it’s fear.
Fear of what if I make a wrong move?
What if things don’t work out for me?
What am I missing out on if I do change?
These types of fear are irrational because they prevent you from doing the things that you should be doing.
They put an obstacle in your progress.
If you’re afraid of making a mistake, then you’re never going to do anything because we all make mistakes.
It’s a part of life, a part of growth, a part of the change process.
There is no progress without making those mistakes, learning from them and trying something different.
As I keep saying, when you’re quitting drinking, that alcohol is just bad for you.
Alcohol is not doing you any good, it’s bring you down a road which to all intents and purposes is leading you down to a nasty fucking end.
I don’t know what other way to put that.
We’re duped into this all the time and it’s sad.
I see it everywhere.
You see it more and more when you don’t drink.
When you look around and you see the way people actually do drink.
There’s no way to stop alcohol than just to stop.
People are looking for an easy way to do this.
If I can just figure out how to avoid the cravings and discomfort, then I’ll be alright.
That’s bullshit, you’re never going to be able to avoid that.
All you’re doing is avoiding making the decision.
You have to go through a little bit of discomfort.
There was a documentary – I can’t remember it now, but I’ll put a link down below – but it was about a young guy who was basically getting up every morning and drinking vodka all day long.
He would drink through a lot of vodka.
He was drinking vodka like I would drink coffee and tea.
He ended up going into a rehabilitation centre, and he died there.
He was only a young guy, in his 20s I think.
There are very few people around that need that level of treatment.
If you’re watching this and you’re at that level, I can’t help you.
It has become a medical problem then, because of the damage the alcohol has caused.
Your body can survive that with some medical help.
What I’m trying to teach is for someone who’s drinking a couple bottles of wine every night.
They’re not at that level yet where the damage has become too much.
There’s no reason why you can’t do this on your own.
When I’m talking about stopping talking, you should do this anyway when you’re quitting because you know it’s not doing you any good.
So, my whole point about this video is about your future and your plans and what you want to do afterwards to fill the space that alcohol has left behind.
You have to fill that with something positive.
That’s what I’m talking about, there’s a time when you have to stop the internal jabber and just do it.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t talk at all.
I think you have to get into this with people and explain why you’re doing this.
You have to talk about it with your closest people because these are big changes and other people need to be informed.
But, there just has to be a time when you’ve got everything sorted yourself, you know where you want to go and what your ultimate goal is.
Aim high, there’s no point aiming low.
You’ve only got one shot at this.
This is your life.
If you don’t aim high now, when are you going to aim high?
Anybody can get wherever they want in life as long as it’s realistic.
What I mean by realism is that you’re aiming for something you can possibly do.
I love watching football, I love the premier league but I can’t play football.
At the end of the day when you look at these young lads on the pitch and they seem rich now, and they seem to have good lives, you can be forgiven for wanting that, but I’m 50 years of age, I’m never going to have that.
There’s no point in aiming for something that’s impossible for you to achieve.
Becoming a top flight premier league footballer for me is impossible to achieve.
It’s impossible for my son to achieve and he’s 25.
He’s never played football in his life before.
For him to go to that level now and compete with people who have been practicing since they were babies is impossible.
But you might as well aim for something that is very big, very grandiose in your dreams.
What I would suggest is to find the goal you want to go for, aim big and break the goal down into smaller and more manageable chunks, and then see if you can break those down into smaller chunks.
All the time look for the next thing that you can do.
This is the best way to avoid procrastination, to think about the next thing.
It might be that you need to get online and surf the internet for more information, maybe you have to join a course or buy something; take a step, and once you’ve taken that step, take another step.
This is going to stop all the frozen dialogue within and without yourself.
Try and do something to push yourself forward.
Think about it, have you succeeded?
Then move on to the next one.
If you don’t succeed, check where you went wrong and do something different.
Keep trying. Eventually you’ll get to that success.
There just has to be a time when you stop the bullshit and just do it.
You’re never going to get anything done if you don’t do it.
First has to come the thought, and then next is the action.
That’s the formula.
If you don’t have the thought, you can’t get to the action.
If you don’t get to the action, you can’t get to the goals.
So, you’re always going to be stuck in that thought phase.
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IF WE ALL DID THE THINGS WE WERE CAPABLE OF DOING, WE WOULD LITERALLY ASTOUND OURSELVES.
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!
Link to documentary https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrTlI6seM0A
It’s very harrowing. Poor young man!
Hi Kevin, with you all the way on over-thinking. I am coming to the view that when we imagine/think, its easy to focus on the perceived bullshit negative part of not drinking. Eg imagine yourself at some future time on a holiday, probably in a bar and everybody drinking having a good time while your feeling uncomfortable with glass of orange. Followed by panic thinking “I will never be able to enjoy a holiday again”. It’s so easy to forget to imagine all the other stuff, like getting up fresh going for a walk or swim, visiting places of interest, having nice food, seeing relatives, playing with the kids etc etc
I never used to realize I did this edited thinking, but try this, if I said imagine how you feel if you team just lost in the play offs, its natural to think down/sad or even depressed a really bad day/weekend. Where as in reality maybe your get back home, your son turns up unexpected and you take him out on a great walk and have a big family meal at night. A great weekend. MY point being we are rubbish at imagining the future, in reality we only imagine the bit we think we know or the bit we fear. We don’t actually imagine the bit we don’t know.