Everyone has that inner voice that always wants to find the easiest way out of a problem. Sometimes, this voice is very helpful. Finding an easy solution to a problem is something we all want, after all. But at other times, the voice becomes the monster in the machine. The gremlin will try to get you to do the easiest thing possible, the thing that takes the least effort. This will most likely stop you from doing anything that delivers the most value for you and your life…
Hi, I’m Kevin O’Hara for alcohol mastery.com.
This video is about that little Gremlin you’ve got hidden inside your head that’s trying to tell you that alcohol is a good thing, that you shouldn’t quit and that it isn’t doing you any harm.
The Gremlin itself is a figment of your imagination, but it’s a part of our minds that it’s god to think of in this way because it sort of separates the drinking behaviour from the behaviour you want to achieve in your life.
So looking at things from this perspective…I always look at it as Gollum from the Lord of the Rings; that snivelling, weak individual thing, all greasy and horrible.
He started out being a normal boy, which we all do, boy or girl.
And he ended up being this little monster.
That’s the way I saw it.
It’s just this thing that was going ‘please don’t quit. Alcohol is my precious’.
Most of it is driven by fear.
There is a lot of fear attached to quitting drinking alcohol for us as individuals.
This voice in the back of our heads is doubt.
And, there is a conflict between we the people that want to do the right thing, want to quit drinking and make sure that we lead a good life; but at the same time, we want that instant gratification, and we’re afraid of what is going to happen once it is taken away from us – that way of releasing our tensions, our problems, a way of socialising and relaxing.
The Gollum doesn’t like change.
That part of you doesn’t like to get outside of its comfort zone.
It doesn’t like growth.
It doesn’t like any forward movement because that growth takes it away from what is natural, and puts it into something that’s unnatural.
I’m not talking about natural and unnatural in a physical sense, I’m talking about it from a perspective of you as a person.
Quitting drinking alcohol for you as a person is not the natural thing to do.
So, what I’m talking about, the Gollum, he just likes to stay in his comfort zone.
He likes to stay in this little, nice, tight, safe bubble, which he knows he’s not going to be hurt in.
There’s no danger.
But, there is a danger there.
There’s always a danger because it’s a danger of stagnation.
Not only stagnating and becoming a defeated nobody, your life is just not going anywhere.
You have a danger of regressing, of going backwards in your life.
Not only going backwards and being someone you used to be, but just falling backwards and downwards, and doing behaviours which are detrimental to your spirit, hopes, dreams and progress.
We all want to progress.
We all want to do better.
There’s not one person out there who doesn’t want to get up on a Monday morning and feel like they have something more in their lives than they did the previous Monday, whether that’s money or something they have in their possession.
I think for me, it’s more something in my mind.
Many people think the same way.
It’s having a knowledge that wasn’t before, understanding something or someone a little bit better.
All of these things are progressions that the Gollum is afraid of. We all have to make these progressions.
If you don’t make the change yourself, then something else will make it for you.
Life, circumstances and other people will force it on you.
Self-directed change is the only change that’s valuable in life.
Anything else apart from that is change that’s forced on you.
That’s a change that’s taking you in a direction that you might not like.
The Gollum doesn’t like change because he feels like all change is taking you in a direction that he doesn’t like.
He’s not in control of anything, except this whiny voice.
This trying to beg you to stay the same, trying to keep the status quo going as long as possible.
One of the tools in the Gollum’s arsenal is to tell you that moderation is a good thing.
He says moderation is possible, and it’s the best way to go.
Even when you’ve quit drinking for a while and you’ve gone through 2 months, you’ll still find this little Gollum weaker, but it’s still there whispering ‘it’s time to go back. You’ve proven that you can do this, that you’re in control of alcohol now. So you can go back now and you can moderate. You can only take a few drinks on a Friday night, and you won’t drink anymore because you’re strong’
At the end of the day, you know that that’s not going to happen.
You want to believe that it’s going to happen, you want to truly believe that this is the way forward, that moderation is the way forward.
I’ve tried it so many times, convinced myself that moderation was a possibility and the only way forward.
I convinced myself that alcohol was not the problem, it was me and my behaviour.
It was the amounts I was drinking that was the problem.
It wasn’t the fact that I was taking this toxin into my body.
Because after all, it was only Guinness.
It was this stuff that gave you health.
It was something that all the Guinness I’d seen in my life, that was the way I had self-propagandized.
It was the way that I’d bullshitted myself into believing that drinking this stuff was good for me.
From the time I started earlier on until I finished.
Until I had all the problems associated with drinking and I was still telling myself bullshit until the end.
Finally I copped on, that the only way my problems were ever going to be sorted was to quit drinking altogether, to get this toxin to stop intoxicating my body altogether.
The reason why this moderation message works is because you know at the end of the day that the moderation is only going to last for a certain amount of time.
Then you’re back to square 1.
So there’s no change for the Gollum.
There’s no change for that person.
You’re taking a couple of weeks to have your little game, and then you come back, and you act like normal again.
The problem with this kind of thinking is that the moderation, the space between the moderation gaps, it becomes wider and wider.
You get back to the drinking again and the space between the time that you even consider moderation again becomes wider and wider.
The moderation itself becomes shorter and shorter.
Eventually, what you have is a way of thinking that is completely affected by your failures to moderate.
Your self-confidence starts getting hit.
Your self-belief starts taking a battering and you start to believe the bullshit that you are a drinker and will never be able to quit.
That quitting is going to be a part of you forever.
So, don’t listen to the Gollum.
The best thing to do is at the beginning, picture the Gollum and how it’s going to be when he’s dying and you’re literally strangling him to death.
Anyway, I’ll stop there for now.
Until next time, take care of yourself and keep the alcohol out of your mouth.
TO ESCAPE FEAR, YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH IT, NOT AROUND IT.
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!
This is so true! Thanks Kevin. I still have thoughts that maybe I could moderate – but really, why would I be any different from all the others who have tried and found themselves back at square 1. It’s just not worth the risk. Thanks for the reminder 🙂
THANK YOU SO MUCH!