What You Fear Most is What You Need to Do Most

What You Fear Most is What You Need to Do Most

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What You Fear Most is What You Need to Do Most
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Today I wanted to talk about something, I heard from Tim Ferriss, the author of the ‘Four Hour Work Week’. And he said “that what you fear most is what you need to do most” and I just thought it was so apt for quitting drinking alcohol.

You know, most of the time, we get so caught up with the fears about what might happen afterwards, what we’re going to do afterwards. How are we going to socialise, how are we going to do this, how are we going to do that, how are we going to change our lives, you know.

We don’t really want to change certain parts of our life, but the main thing that you need to do is to stop the alcohol and I think that’s the thing that we fear the most, is just a life without the alcohol, you know, forever, being without alcohol. I think it’s a, once we can overcome that, and we can get rid of the alcohol and refuse to put the alcohol back into your mouth anymore, then the behaviour dies, right?

I talked about this in one of my books, that you imagine that your habit, the behaviour of drinking alcohol is like a hot air balloon right, and what holds a hot air balloon in the air, is the gas inside it, you know the heat, heats up the gas and the heat makes the hot air balloon rise.

And it’s exactly the same with your drinking habits, right? The behaviour as the hot air balloon, the thing that’s holding that up, is whatever the behaviour is, drinking alcohol right, so the sequence of alcohol is – you get your trigger, which sparks of the behaviour, the behaviour which is the actual drinking and then the sort of reward for the behaviour which is, whatever it is, your buzz, or you get to sleep, or relax, or whatever you know and all that kind of thing.

Right, well, if the behaviour of the drinking, you know, the alcohol habit, you know that’s the balloon, the behaviour is the gas which holds it up and without the actual drinking, without the alcohol in there, you know as the gas, this is the gas, it cannot hold the balloon up, it cannot hold the habit up right? So, the habit itself collapses, the behaviour collapses around it.

So, once you get the alcohol out of your life, everything else will start to fall into place, gradually, slowly, right, bit, by bit, by bit, you will change things, bit, by bit. You don’t into this life forever, not drinking alcohol again, forget that, just leave alcohol behind you and the more distance you put between yourself and the habit, the more distance you put between yourself and the behaviour, the more distance you put between yourself and the actual alcohol drinking right. The easier this will get, the more comfortable you will get being without alcohol.

Four years down the road now and the idea of never drinking alcohol again is like a breeze to me, you know, it’s like:

So, what you know, if I never drink alcohol again – that’s great! You know, there’s no problem with that at all.

At the beginning that was a fucking terrifying thing, you know, that was something that would make me shit myself, you know, what! Never drinking alcohol again!

You know I get moments right, we’re going over to Ireland in February and we’re going to see my Grandchild for the first time. I think she’s due in the beginning of February. So we’re heading off there, first time we will be back in Ireland, and I’ve got to admit that when I think about Ireland, I think about Ennis, I think about my old times, my old experience back then and I obviously think about Guinness, right? This was my drink back then.

But it’s a momentary thing and I know that when I go back there now, my experience is going to be completely different, I’m coming from a different perspective. I’m coming from the perspective from someone that has been living a healthy life for four years and you know, I’ve got no fears that I’m going to succumb to a pint of Guinness, that’s just not going to happen.

I’m not saying, I won’t go into a pub. I will go into a Pub that there are plenty of things that I can drink over there and I can soak in the atmosphere and I can probably watch some trad music, but I’m going to see it from a different perspective. That’s going to be completely different for me.

So, the point of this Video is to get you to face up to those fears and realise that I’ve said in another Video that I did recently, those fears are baseless – most of them – and they’re certainly in your head and fears once they’re inside your head they are in your domain. They’re in a place where you can you do something about them, you know, you can’t do anything about something that’s outside of you, you know, one of the AA things was control, what you can control and leave everything else to whoever, we won’t go there right? But, you know, it’s one of the truest things, they obviously got it from somewhere else, you know, but it’s a true thing – you can control what you can control and if you can’t control it, then you do your best to control your reactions to it, you do your best to control your response to it – that’s all you can do right?

So, that’s it for this video, I hope you got something out of that. If you did, give us a thumbs up and like the video, come on over to the website and sign up for the newsletter.

We’ve a new course coming out soon for ‘Thirty Days of Quitting Drinking Alcohol’ to get you first through those first thirty days.

It’s for basically anyone who wants to give it a try, whether they’re afraid of doing thirty days or not, you know whether they’re afraid of quitting drinking alcohol long term, it’s just to give people, to give them a push to try it out for thirty days. And it’s also for people who want to just quit for thirty days and want to see the health benefits of that, see the benefits and the life of that you know. Trying to get this out before January, because a lot of people want to do a dry January, so you know that’s one of the reasons, try and bring in some money.


Until next time...
Stay Safe
Keep the Alcohol out of your Mouth
Good Luck
Take care
Onwards and Upwards!

"You can't control the wind but you can adjust your sails"


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Kevin O'Hara

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2 Comments

  • Mick

    Reply Reply January 29, 2017

    I think the mind set of putting some distance between yourself and the habit is a great way to tackle bad habits. I will try and refine that idea to get myself drinking more water.

    I can never see myself drinking alcohol again, my life is just so much better without it. I love going to bed sober waking up and feeling well. Having more time and energy, getting things done and becoming organized. Yesterday I had a nightmare, In my dream I went to a party and drank alcohol then drove my car drunk, something I didn’t do even when I was a drinker. I woke up and was so relieved it was just a dream. Shows how my fear of not drinking has completely transposed its self into a fear of drinking. Well enough to cause a nightmare.

  • Robert

    Reply Reply August 3, 2017

    Do you ever feel that you have to do what you are doing because of the following you have. ie. how you would feel if you gave up and starting drinking again.. That seems like rellyl scary. But also a commitment. I wish you well. I enjoy your videos and I have improved terrifically, but I still have a glass of wine now and then.

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