Sometimes when I look back at the last four years, since I started this journey, I just think – “Wow!” You know, I’ve really come this far. I can’t believe how far I have come, you know, from where I started out.
All the things that I’ve done on this journey since I started out, all the people I’d have met, all the memories that I’ve got, you know, just the buzz that I’m getting from doing this, from making these videos, from just this whole journey now, from getting up in the morning without the hangover, to getting into bed at night and having a natural sleep – a great sleep.
To not having any cravings any more. To not be worried about, the, what I’m doing to my body, to the things that I’m doing to expand my health and try and prolong my life. Expand the quality of my life, you know, it’s just so much to take in. Sometimes, when I think about it, I think, you know – “Why didn’t I do this sooner?” You know, it’s a natural thought process to have, sort of a sad process in some ways, but it’s, I can only be happy because of where I am now and the things that I’ve achieved.
You know, I was reading one of Napoleon Hill’s old books and I came across a quote that says – “Fears are nothing more than a state of mind” – and I have to agree, you know. It’s, fear doesn’t exist outside of yourself. It’s all in your head. And that got me thinking about this, the past four years and what would have happened if I hadn’t jumped into this journey when I did.
You know, if I hadn’t overcome my fears and I did have fears in the beginning. You know, I had massive fears. You know, when I was drinking, I always thought about myself as being – a drinker. Sort of a, not a hard man. I never thought of myself as that, but, sort of a man’s man, right, you know.
Like, I’ll be the one, one of my things was from an early age, that I could drink a certain amount, you know, and I was able to hold this amount of alcohol. And that I could sit at the Bar with anyone and have a laugh and have a conversation and put the world to rights. That I could, get up in the morning and push through the hangover. That, that was part of being a man as well.
You know and so many of those different physic delusions, right. That I had in my head, that some of them I didn’t even realise at the time that I had and, for me, for a lot of the time, it was the fear of becoming somebody else, of becoming a different person, I didn’t want to be a different person, I wanted to take this part out of my life and I wanted to change, but I didn’t want to become a different person.
And that’s the big problem, is that change requires you to become a different person. You have to change the person that you are, you have to change the life that you’re living. Alcohol quitting, means more than just not putting the alcohol into your mouth. As I said, time and time again, that’s the easy part – it’s simple – you just don’t put it into your mouth anymore and that’s the job done.
But it’s changing your life, changing the person who you are, that is the most, that offers the most discomfort to people, because, we’re comfortable in who we are. We’re comfortable in our own skin, even though we don’t like some of the parts of that person. We might not like some of the parts of that life, but in general it gives us routine, habit, all that kind of stuff and it’s very difficult to sort of think – “Well, I’m going to have to do this, I’m going to have to change”.
But even in the beginning, most people don’t realise how much they really have to change and how much they have to change their life and their associations, you know, their ways of doing things, their habits, their rituals. So many different little tiny things. And once they do realise that it can become overwhelming. But, remember that, this is also a state of mind. This is only fear.
It’s a state of mind that’s pushing you towards, getting back into your comfort zone. That your body, your mind whatever it is, that’s in behind there, that’s, you know, some people call it the ‘alcohol voice’.
Bullshit, you know, it’s not the alcohol voice, it’s survival you know, it’s your own survival instincts that are saying – “This is what you normally do. This is what you’re comfortable doing, why you trying to change?” – you know? Even though this thing is bad for you, you know it’s not an equation between the two of alcohol and change, you know, we don’t like change. Change means insecurity, it means getting killed by a fucking wild beast when you come out of your cave in the morning.
That’s why, we’re still wired that way, to think that way, you know. And while that wiring is going on, you’ve got to use. You know all this is in the oldest part of your brain and this is the strongest part of your brain in terms of pushing you to do something. If something jumps out of the bush at you, it’s the oldest part of your brain, which makes you fucking run in the opposite direction. Or lash out and punch – do you know what I mean?
It’s the oldest part of your brain, that keeps your heart pumping, that keeps your breathing going, that keeps all these essential life functions, functioning, right? But you’ve got to overcome that by using the new part of your brain, which is here, right in the front of your head, the Cerebral Cortex, this is where all your decision making comes from, this is where all your logical thinking comes from.
And you’ve got to overcome, the mid brain which is the emotional part, the Mammalian Brain, and then the oldest part which is the Lizard Brain, that automatic reaction brain, you know, so. I’m getting off track here. But, the fear is going to come up, right, the fear is natural. It’s not unnatural, but it’s all in your brain. It’s your brain that’s causing it.
And you’ve got to use your intelligence and your thought, your reasoning, to overcome that and to sort of hold yourself still, breathe and just think, this is only my fear, my fear, that’s coming up and rising itself and I can do anything to overcome that.
So, the way to overcome the fear of the unknown. The fear of not being able to sleep. The fear of the cravings. The fear of the symptoms and the side effects. All those fears, is to stand back and to just take a deep breath.
Use your knowledge about yourself, you know, think to yourself, think yourself through this whole process and think yourself into it that you, you can do this, that fear is just in your head, fear is in your mind and anything that’s in your mind you’ve got control over. Anything that’s in your mind, you can, you can push it in an opposite direction, you can make a choice about it and take that choice in the direction that you want it to go.
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“Fears are nothing more than a state of mind” – Napoleon Hill
Until next time…
Keep the Alcohol out of your Mouth
Onwards and Upwards!
FEAR; False Evidence Appearing Real
Unfortunately it does feel real, its also probably one of the most powerful emotions, if a lion jumped out on you, you would run bare foot across glass to get away, such is the power of this emotion.
It is a difficult emotion to control, it will literally switch off you frontal cortex and take control of your legs. This is a great thing if you suddenly find you have stepped out into oncoming traffic, but a real bastard if you suddenly think Ive got to get a drink. My personal experience is that alcohol addiction can create an emotion very similar to fear.
I don’t know a sure fire way to squash such pressing thoughts, I do know that eventuality your brain realises it experienced the emotion you didn’t drink the emotion passes, so panic over.
this panic can be a problem and come out of no where, at least it did for me. Kevin’s videos helped with building my confidence that this would pass. The turning point was probably when I 100% committed that know matter what happened failing death I would spend one year alcohol free on this planet. I combined this with a thought diary, I used an app and loged and labeled my thoughts probably about 8 times a day some days more. Labeling my thoughts was a technique I learned from a cognitive therapy course. It sounds too simple but it does help.
eg you can think your depressed, you stop and think about it your notice its not depression its doubt, you then think what did I think that caused the doubt. This is a very quick thing to do. You don’t think of a solution, you just need awareness your thoughts are causing your emotional state. It gets your conscious brain but more importantly your subconscious brain thinking more clearly and not mixing up or dwelling on thoughts that are not help full to your mental health.
I don’t log my thoughts anymore, its now a habit if I feel anything negative I naturally label the thought and what caused it. I am 100% curred of any addiction to alcohol, this can be done and can for the most part be a pleasant experience. I would say along with quiting smoking its the best thing I have ever done for myself. Kevin’s daily videos have played a big part in reprogramming my thoughts about alcohol. Helped me to believe it could be done and his books gave me some great techniques of how to get started and how to prepare and handle some bumps in the road. If in any doubt about stopping drinking, commit to one year on the planet alcohol free accept you may have some low spots but commit 100%, 100% balls out commitment. Forget motivation its a fickle thing that comes and goes. Commitment and knowledge is whats needed. Good luck.