Stop Drinking Alcohol Week 48 (Transcript)
How are you doing? I’m Kevin O’Hara for alcohol mastery.
This is stop drinking alcohol week 48.
So my family were over this weekend, just for a couple of days, and it’s great to see family when you haven’t seen them for quite a while. But I find that, every time now I go out drinking it just reinforces the fact that I’m not going to drink again. I mean I really don’t want it.
I was sat there with my brother, and he’s not a big piss head by any stretch of the imagination, but you could see the drink on him. And he’s getting more and more drunk as the night goes on, the red wine stains on his teeth and on his braces, it was just funny, and I just so didn’t want anymore. I was quite happy sitting there watching everyone else. There are people around me not drinking as well so that helped.
With those special occasions, I would have stayed up there for a whole weekend and just drank and drank with them. Now, I was quite happy staying overnight, going to bed at 2 o clock in the morning and having a great night’s sleep.
Getting Ready for Christmas
As I speak now I’m getting ready for my first Christmas in over 30 years without alcohol. And I’m really looking forward to, the Christmas, the New Year celebrations and a whole fantastic new year without alcohol.
And over the next few weeks I’m going to be making a few videos about how I’m preparing for Christmas and what I think other people should do. How I’m preparing for the New Year; What I’ve learnt about myself over the last 12 months and really how my feelings have all changed over the last 12 months, I want to talk about that a little bit.
Dying to Quit
This week I want to talk a little bit more about quitting drinking, and why I think that it’s just… It’s wrong to tell people that they could die from quitting drinking.
My point all along has been that, you’ve much more chance of dying, I mean much much more chance of dying… I’d say 100 times more, 1000 times more chance of dying from drinking alcohol from all the causes that can happen. Not only the health risks that you take on but just fucking walking out in front of a car when you’re pissed out of your head and the car runs over you.
But people say, ‘No. You’re completely wrong, you can die from seizures and you can die from this if you quit drinking’. Well stay drinking then!
There’s Risk in Everything
I understand that there a certain element of risk in this, but there’s a risk in everything.
I’m down on the beach here, and there’s a certain risk that one of those killer whales could jump up and grab me, you know, like I’m a seal or something. Or that a tidal wave could get me, or that a plane could fall out of the sky. There’s a chance that I can get knocked over every time that I walk across the road.
But if you think like that, then you’re never going to do anything. If you think that the risk of you dying from quitting drinking is more than if you stay on the drink then obviously don’t quit. You should just stay drinking.
This whole thing, the reason I’m doing these videos is to try and give people, encourage people, that you’re not going to die from quitting drinking, that you’re going to live.
I Was Dying from Alcohol
I’m off the alcohol now for almost a year and, before I quit, I felt so many times that I was close to dying. I used to wake up in the middle of the night with my heart thumping out of my chest, and I seriously thought that I was on my way out.
How many times did I wake up in the morning with a hangover that bad that I felt like I was going to die?
I’m Alive Again
Now since I’ve quit drinking I feel like I’m alive for the first time in so, so long so that’s my point of view anyway, and if people want to take it wrong and say that I’m preaching and there’s no chance of dying then that’s up to themselves but I’m not saying that at all. I’m saying there’s a risk in everything.
Who Can I Help?
Much of the time I’m talking about people who are in the same position as myself, whose drinking has gotten out of control. I’m not trying to help people, I can’t help people, who are so far gone that they can’t survive without drink. That when they do try and quit that they go into these seizures. I can’t help somebody like that. Nobody can help someone like that. No video is going to help them anyway.
Anyway, that’s my rant for the day.
Question About Cravings
One of the questions I got on the website last week was in response to the video I did about visualisations and, it was basically, this person said that… If I had to do visualisations to get over the cravings, and I’m 47 weeks off the alcohol, that I must be still getting cravings.
It’s not really cravings that I get now. It’s more of an impulse sort of thing. It’s like deja vu. It’s this brainwashing feeling for something that I used to have a long time ago. It’s almost like a love affair with alcohol, and the alcohol is still there in the background.
Traces of Habit
It’s not the alcohol, but this mentality; it was in my life for such a long time, over 30 years like I said. It’s bound to leave traces in just the day to day things that you do, because it gets embedded into your system, embedded into your life in so many different ways. It’s bound to leave some form, some trace of that.
At the end of the day, it is all down to habit and memories.
My common sense now is the only thing that I need, the only tool that I need, to overcome these stupid fancies.
Impulses to Remember
It all comes down to that kind of thing, going into a pub and having that brief moment of recognition, that remembrance of times gone past, and really all those times have gone. It’s all gone now and it’s never going to come back. No matter what kind of little memories jump into my head, it’s not going to make me drink.
Never Drinking Again!
I’m going to do a video during the week about never having a drink again. That awful feeling you get when someone tells you that you can never do something again. It seems to be especially strong in people who are trying to quit drinking.
Fears of Loss
The reason is because, people sort of think that at the beginning, just before they’re attempting to quit, or in the first few days, they’re afraid of having to go to parties and weddings and celebrations and all that kind of thing without having a drink. They’re afraid of the times when they would have fallen back on having a drink, and using it as a crutch.
There’s much better ways of dealing with life, much better coping strategies and next year I really want to try and focus the website on looking at some of those coping strategies, looking into it and trying to find out more about it so I can teach you guys.
Petrified to Quit
When I started quitting myself, I was nervous about not having a drink again. I wasn’t anywhere near as nervous as when I quit smoking. When I quit smoking the last time, and I sort of knew I wasn’t going to smoke again, I was petrified of all the times when I would use cigarettes, nicotine as a crutch.
Trick of the Mind
But I can tell you after 48 weeks [away from alcohol] that it’s just a trick of the mind. It’s just a trick your mind plays with you at the beginning, and it does get easier, the whole thing is that your mind is so used to drinking; it’s so used to having alcohol in your life that you just impulsively react to situations.
Retuning to Your New Life
But over a time your mind gradually retunes itself to your new circumstances, to not having a drink and your brain sort of gets on the same wavelength, but you have to give it time, so long as you don’t drink, a month goes by, two months goes by and it gets easier and easier and gradually that retuning starts to happen. The impulsiveness disappears, or it recedes anyway. As I say I still get the odd impulse every so often. But that’s all it is, it’s just a momentary flicker, and then it’s gone.
So, that’s stop drinking alcohol week 48.
Next Week on Alcohol Mastery
Next week I’m going to be talking about my plans for Christmas and to see if I can come up with some strategies for dealing with it if you’re quitting, and if you’re not, then getting ready for quitting after Christmas, there’s nothing wrong with that either.
If you have any questions at all, leave them on the website or down below if you’re on YouTube.
Send me a message.
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Until next week,
My name’s Kevin O’Hara for alcohol mastery.
Onwards and upwards!
Thanks for visiting the site.
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!
Previous Posts That May Help You
Stop Drinking Alcohol Week 45
Stop Drinking Alcohol Week 46
Stop Drinking Alcohol Week 47
It,s always the people with a vested interest that tell you there is a danger in quitting alcohol.that you could possibly die . please get on our programme it only costs £20.000 per week book yourself in ,all the therapists and rehab shite are all liars in my mind there only after your brass
The possibility is there, but theres a possibility of dying from drinking too much water. If you quit breathing then you will 100% die, but that happens to all of us in the end! If what I’m going through is the process of dying – bring it on!
I just watched a few of you very early videos this year. Man you have changed!!! It’s lovely to see such transformation happening for the very good! It’s been over a week now that I brought myself to this foreign country to change my habits of drinking and with your help, it’s going really well. When I get craving, I remember your words and go out walking for cycling for an hour or so and the craving disappears. I physically feel much better already after this short time.
Thanks Kevin, you are truly inspireing!
Kind regards, Didi
Thank you Didi for your positive messages. I get a lot of encouragement from people like yourself who are willing to share their stories or ask questions. It’s good to know that people are finding some inspiration for their journey.
Your videos are very inspiring & I enjoy that you make it both serious & light-hearted at the same time & you have many funny sayings that make me laugh. I especially like how you let people know it is their own choice if they drink & I am trying to stop again & am grateful that I do not feel guilty while listening to you,but you encourage me to try again.
I went to AA years ago & if you fall it feels like you are a Leper & the shame is so bad that you avoid going again–also I gave up smoking 28years ago & 98% at AA smoke at the meetings I went to. They stand around the doorway smoking while the meeting is on so the smoke just comes inside-it does not know that the room is out of bounds. Many members of my family have died from Lung weakness & I have to totally avoid smoke of all sorts, but at AA,you cannot-so I just gave up & stopped going.
My question is more of a request. Can you give me some ideas,suggestions or even a visualization,etc that I can try out to help me after 5pm in the evening as my resolve is very strong in the morning,but my husband drinks & by the time he comes home at that time,I start thinking of it & eventually give in as this is when we have a drink together usually. How can I keep my resolve up & make it stronger than the craving, so that I do not give in. Any suggestions?
I’m in the same boat in terms of my partner drinking, but it seriously doesn’t bother me now. In the beginning, it was – as you say – something we had always done together, so it was difficult from the perspective of not doing the actions any more, not tasting the alcohol in my mouth, or feeling the cold glass in my hands. It’s all an illusion. I drink tea most nights, chamomile or valerian, and I feel great. Your brain switches over to the new actions in no time. Now, I like the feel of the warm cup in my hands, or the slightly bitter taste of the chamomile. As for visualisations, they can be very personal, in fact the more personal they are to you the better they work. Try to visualise yourself drunk, at your worst drunk moment. Visualise yourself drunk in front of children, your own kids perhaps, and their look of disgust. Get as much detail into the visualisation as possible. Hear them talking about you, smell the pool of vomit you’ve just done, see the exaggerated looks of pity and contempt on the kids faces, feel the utter shame and dejection… It’s all inside your head, but it’s real to a certain extent because it’s your personal feelings, what you’ve heard and felt and smelt. It works the other way round as well, seeing yourself going to bed without a drink. Waking up in the morning without a hangover. Hear and feel and smell how good that is, tell yourself how good you feel…
I hope that helps Jo…