(0.19) Short and long term memory loss
(0.34) Stolen memories
(1.55) Trying to forget
Have You Ever Had Complete Loss of Memory Because of Your Drinking is the seventeenth question of 20 in the Johns Hopkins series of videos to see if you are an alcoholic…
My Biggest Loser
Some of the biggest losses I’ve had in my life are the memories I’ll never get back.
I can get healthy again, I can get fit and lose the 50 inch beer belly, I can cop onto myself and give myself a reality kick-in-the-ass, I can put many a wrong right again, and I can never have a drink again.
One thing I’ll never get back are my memories.
Alcohol has robbed me of some of my most precious memories and they’re gone for good.
It’s funny, a lot of people say they drink to forget, it’s true, I’ve done it. It works, in the short term at least, while you’re drunk. But the memories all come flooding back when you’re sober again.
How can that be?
How can I have lost some memories and not others?
Because the memories I want to lose are the traumatic ones, they all involve huge emotional events.
They’re the ones that keep me awake at night, or wake me up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.
They’re the types of memories that have to be dealt with, not swept under the carpet.
The precious memories I’m talking about are of events that are worth remembering. Birthdays, weddings, great times with my family or friends, Christmas’s, holidays, etc.
But these are precisely the times when I would always drink.
…And When I Quit?
My drinking was never about tasting or sampling or socializing or calming, my drinking was about getting drunk.
All those special times in my life involved me getting drunk or at the very least wanting to get drunk.
A pickled brain is not a very fine receptacle for keeping pristine memories. The more I drank the less I’d remember. At least I’ve got the photos to remind me I was there, in body if not in spirit.
I used to tell myself that memory was something that deteriorated with age, and as I was inevitably getting older my memory was inevitably less reliable.
That was until I stopped drinking!
Then I realised that I have a great memory, a bloody great memory in fact!
My memory has become so good that I feel like I’m living a longer life. Sounds weird doesn’t it!
Think about it. You only know you were here yesterday, or a minute ago for that matter, because you remember it! If you didn’t have a memory how would you know anything?
So, your memories are your past. They are what make up your life!
Now I remember much more of the last 3 months than I would have done if I’d continued to drink.
Time has stretched for me…it feels like that anyway!
This is getting too surreal even for me!
This was the seventeenth post in the series of articles on the Johns Hopkins 20 questions which was designed for you to self-test and discover if you might have an alcohol problem. If you answer yes to this question and yes to some of the others in the test, you need to take a look at your drinking habits. You can see the full 20 Questions here.
Leave a message below if I can offer any help at all in your fight with alcohol.
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards…