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You Need Ambition to Create Great Life after Alcohol

by | Stop Drinking Alcohol | 8 comments

Today I just wanted to talk about ambition and to change something big in your life, to make big changes in your life, to quit alcohol, to stop smoking, to get a great body to internal or external or both, to get an education, to use that education to get a great career, to build to a great career, to build a business, no matter what you want to do, that’s worthwhile in this life, you’ve got to have ambition.

You know, if you’re wondering what to do next. If you’re wondering how to get through this, how to get through the fear, how to push past, your discomfort zone, push into your discomfort zone and out of your comfort zone, then you really need to have ambition right. You’ve got to basically get up off your arse, stop twiddling your thumbs and get out there and grab life by the bollocks, right.

If you do that and if you take action, think about what you’re doing first. Take action in what you’re thinking about and push yourself outside of that comfort zone and you push yourself into action, then success will bring success. Success, will breed success. One success builds on another success and it all adds together into something which builds a quality life, right? Quality life, you know.

If you want to build muscles right, you have to do it, bit by bit. And each time you successfully bench press, I don’t know, I don’t know this, every time you bench press twenty kilos say – is that light? Twenty kilos is probably light, but every time you bench press twenty kilos and then you can add five kilos onto it and then you add another five and eventually you’re up to one hundred kilos, and you’re able to bench press a hundred kilos. But your body is changing in order to adapt itself, to push that weight, to give that weight, to push the weight every day.

So, you start out at twenty kilos and you’ve got the body of a, the chest, and the arms, of a guy or the woman who can push twenty kilos, or can bench press twenty kilos. By the time, you get to a hundred kilos, you’ve got the body and the shoulders and the arms of a person who can push one hundred kilos, that’s just it.

When you create a business for yourself, in the beginning you’ve got a business which has got nothing, that has not got the ability to create any money, to generate any income. You keep pushing and pushing and pushing yourself, outside your comfort zone, pushing with your skills, learning new things, trying new tactics, eventually you’ve got a business that can make a dollar. Then you’ve got a business that can make ten dollars, then hundred dollars, then you’ve got a business that can make a thousand dollars, and then you’ve got a business that you float on the stock exchange and can make a billion dollars. That’s how all these businesses started out.

You know, Apple started out in a Garden Shed, so did Amazon. You know all these businesses started out in very humble beginnings, but they had a person behind them, who not only have a great idea, but was willing to take that idea and push and push and push themselves, until they found what they were looking for. I mean, look at Amazon now, it’s just a phenomenon. It’s just so, wide spread, I mean you can go onto Amazon now, it started out as a place where you can books, now you can virtually go there and buy anything that you want, you know, within limits.

At the end of the day, this is for, I’ve obviously got to focus on alcohol, and how quitting drinking alcohol, how you can build on successes, after success, in terms of building a life after alcohol. And this is exactly the position that I was in, say, four years ago, was, before four years ago, five years ago. You know for thirty odd years in my life, no matter what I tried in my life, you know, some things succeeded, other things failed, as is normal in any life that you’re going to go through. Any experiences that you’re going to go through in this life.

But the more I, the more alcohol sort of took over in my life, the more I allowed the behaviour of drinking alcohol to sort of move everything else outwards, whenever I tried to do things, it was one step forward, two steps back, one step forward, to steps back. And you know just my life wasn’t going where I wanted it to go. And alcohol was definitely hampering any progress that I wanted to make.

This is what happens in most peoples lives. It’s not the alcohol that does anything, it’s the behaviour, it’s you actually drinking the alcohol. You know you think about the alcohol, you’ve got the time thinking about the alcohol.

You’ve got the actual time that you’re drinking the alcohol and the money that you’re spending on it, the time that you’re spending on it and you’ve got the actual consequences of that right, so you know, you’ve got the hangover, the next day, you’ve got the hangover, which probably spreads into three or four days, the brain fog, which spreads into three or four days. The consequences of, the physical consequences, last a lot longer than the actually feeling that you get, this hangover feeling. You’ve got the consequences that you’ve spent all this money and that you haven’t got that to spend on something else. You’ve spent the time on it, you haven’t got that time to spend on other things in your life.

We’re finite, we’ve got a finite amount of all these resources in our lives and it’s your choice what you want to spend and it’s the behaviour of drinking alcohol which causes all of this. Not the alcohol, like as I said, could be anything, it could be anything in your life, that does this to you.

Another area of this, when I’m talking about ambition is that, you’ve got to be forward facing, you’ve got to look forward into your life. You’ve got to – a lot of people go into a period of mourning after they’ve stopped drinking, they mourn this loss, like they’ve lost a good friend or a family member. That’s bullshit. Don’t fucking mourn this, you know, this is an evil fucking thing that has been in your life for so long, you know, this behaviour. You shouldn’t mourn that you should rejoice in the fact that’s it gone, that you never have to deal with this thing again.

That’s what I’m talking about that ambition. Another part of ambition is to look forward at the possibilities that now await you because you’ve stopped this destructive behaviour and look forward to the things that are happening, that can happen in your life, that the possibilities of, because you’re able to respond in a completely different way you know.

Another aspect of this, is that, many people, start out this journey with a lot of motivation and determination and the motivation and determination is based around the fact that they are looking into their lives, right, they’re looking forward to what’s going to happen and they don’t do anything about it right. they just expect that quitting drinking is going to be the magic bullet, but this is not just about the drink, it’s not about the drink, it’s about the behaviour. And you can replace the alcohol with something else and still carry on with the behaviour, you’ve got to change that behaviour.

You’ve got the mindset that you can find anything in instant gratification, anything of value, you only get short term value and then there’s always going to be a consequence to that short term value right. If you, if you spent your time now, in short term gratification, then the instant gratification has gone instantly right? If you, you’ve swigged it, you’ve had your drunken feeling and now you’re going through the consequences. You’ve eaten the cake, you’ve got the sweet taste and once it’s gone down into you, the sweet taste has gone, right. All you’ve got now is the fat on your hips or the fat on your arse or you know the fats, around your heart or your liver. You know.

These are the things that are going to bring you detrimental results in the long term, whereas if you spend, you know you can get instant gratification in healthy ways, right and if you spend a lot of your time trying to find long term, looking into the long term of finding solutions for yourself in the long term, then you’re going to get a lot more benefit out of it. Does that make sense? I hope it does, because that’s how any good quality lives are built, it doesn’t matter what age you are, you’re not too old to start this.

And finally, where does ambition, where do you find that ambition from, a lot of people find it very difficult to find that big reason to pull them forwards and not drag them backwards to alcohol and to be honest with you, I don’t know. I can’t tell you that, I can only tell you where I found my ambition from, my motivation and my determination never to drink again.

And that was from my Son. And trying to be the best role model that I could be for him and that one core motivation, just radiates out to everything else in my life, because if I want to try and be the best role model I can be and that means I want to be the healthiest person I can be, I can prove to him that I can be healthy. I want to be the most successful person in business that I can be, so I try and build a good business. I want to try and show him that, you know, getting out into the open and not sitting on my arse watching TV all the time is a benefit to be doing for a healthy life. I want to show him that happiness comes from the inside, from finding things inside of yourself not on things outside of yourself, you’re never going to find happiness with things, because there’s is always something else you know. You know all those kinds of things.

You know if you’re determination and your motivation is based around just quitting drinking alcohol and the hope that something is going to get better, on that magic pill of quitting drinking alcohol, then it’s, it’s this type of motivation, this type of determination is a finite source. It’s going to run out, maybe two and three weeks down the road, four weeks down the road, because you’re not actually doing something to pull yourself forwards. You’ve all the time got this elastic band pulling you backwards.

So, you have to put your body where your mouth is, you have to go out there and take action, you have to try and change things in your life for the better you know. You have to have to have a goal to aim towards at the end of the day and you know, I’m not talking about a goal, that this is, the end result, this is where you reach and that’s the whole point of doing this, that’s not the whole point of doing this at all, the whole point of doing it, is the journey.

The journey is the dynamic part, this is the thing that’s going to bring you the happiness, the end goal, whether you reach that end goal or not is irrelevant, right, because you know the end goal is nice to reach and if you get there fair enough and you can move yourself forward to another end goal right and move towards that but it’s’ those it’s the changes that you make in your life while you’re heading for that end goal that’s where the beauty is, that’s where all the happiness lies, that’s where the fulfilment lies, that’s where they pull forward lives.

This thing is moving you forwards like a freight train, there’s no stopping you, you know. You’re not going to moving backwards right, you can’t go backwards right, because it takes that long to fucking slow you down and to turn you around, that’s it’s impossible to go backwards and that’s the type of motivation, that’s the type of determination that I’m talking about here.

You’ve got to have that kind of ambition in your life, you’ve got to have that ambition that is going to pull you forwards and it’s going to bring you so much pleasure on the way. You know, I want to live a long quality life, that is my ambition, so does that mean that my end goal, is to die, one hundred twenty or whatever it is, right, so I get to that end of goal of one hundred and twenty and then I’m dead right? So, what’s the fucking point in that.

The whole point is that I enjoy the life now, between now when I’m fifty and then when I’m one hundred and twenty, and that’s living the life, you know, so, I really hope that that made some sense to you, you know. It’s a bit of a ramblely video, but sometimes, you know there the best ones and I hope this one is a good one for you.

I’m definitely going to continue on my walk now. It’s as you can see, I’m wearing a hoodie today and there’s a breeze that could cut the ears of me you know. Anyway, have a great week, have a great day, I’ll see you tomorrow, if you’re watching these on a daily basis.

“Ambition is the path to success, Persistence is the Vehicle you arrive in”

Until next time…
Stay safe, keep the alcohol out of your mouth, keep the motivation and ambition in your mind, push yourself towards something better, you know, always, always, always…
Onwards and Upwards!

Take care of yourself.

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  1. Maria E.

    Excellent ramble – Just what I needed to hear – today.

  2. Sharon

    Kevin – this was a great, happy, hopeful message. The outlook – the joy of the journey rather than the outlook of – the grief of the journey is so powerful. You’re doing very, very excellent work. Thank you.

    • Kevin O'Hara

      You’re very welcome Sharon. Glad to have you on board.

  3. Mick

    Thanks for the video. I see myself entering a new stage in my life literally today. My ambition is to be an adventurer. As of today I am an adventurer. My business is organized so that I get lots of free time (3 weeks off one week on). My finance is organized so I need less money. There is still lots to do. But the difference is I want to do it.

    I have got to this position because I no longer have my old running mate alcohol. I now realize he was never my running mate, it was a one sided friendship. Alcohol appeared to be a place of rest from the world, a little reliable sanctuary, where I temporarily felt brave and made bold plans. But in reality it didn’t make me brave or a master tactician or the vestibule of knowledge or feel great. It simple numbed my sensors destroyed any real ambition and offered a rest from things it left me too tired to deal with. It took my money and my time and made me feel sorry for myself. It made me grumpy. It made me organize my life around it. I Fucking hate alcohol and everything about it.

    Yes its just a liquid that does none of the above unless you drink it. But we live in a society that idolizes alcohol and puts it on a pedestal. A society where we are encouraged to believe alcohol is the one ingredient that you need to relax, to mourn, to party, to celebrate, to commiserate have a good time, to even to enjoy a holiday. So alcohol isn’t just harmless liquid, its a key ingredient to get you to live by rote, its a vital part of keeping you slaving away at a humdrum life. Rich or poor, thick as a pudding or a head full of smarts, alcohol doesn’t care. Sat on a park bench, shouting abuse on a Saturday night, slumped in front of the TV, staring at your sea view, talking politics and putting the world to rights. Just add alcohol numb your brain and welcome to the great equalizer, alcohol it doesn’t give a shit as long as its in-control and the center of attention. See it for what it is and it can never control you again. Getting off this drug is relatively easy, so get started, and for fuck sake don’t associate with people who are in love with this drug or worse still people who are struggling to quit. They will pull you down. Fuck them off, get a mentor like Kevin who knows this drug is well beatable. Be selfish or this drug will control you.

    On a positive note ha ha
    The key to planning and getting things done. Its a A5 note book, put long term objectives in the back pages, to do lists in the front of the book. Don’t use a spread sheet, you need to be able to sketch things and make quick notes. You also connect better if you write it by hand.
    This sounds so simple but I am a firm believer good boss can get you ready for the sack or a promotion in a week. Your A5 note book is that good boss, put stuff on your to do list and highlighter threw it when done. This habit is simple but makes a massive difference.

    Thanks again Kevin for all your help and support. you are doing a great job.

    • Kevin O'Hara

      Good for you Mick. I love the label adventure. That’s what life should be all about… A big adventure. I love it 🙂

  4. Adam

    Thanks for these great writings Kevin. Also to you Mick your contributions are an excellent complement to Kevin’s work.
    I am really struggling to break free of the alcohol but am pleased to say I am up to day 6 today.
    I just keep putting all the negative stuff about alcohol into my mind and its slowly working. I know its no good and just a poison that does nothing but waste your time,health and money.
    Its the social aspect that stuffs me up. Getting called up to come for a drink by friends. That’s were I get caught. So I’ve moved to another town and this has helped a lot putting some distance between myself and my drinking mates. And now I know I gotta present a non drinking persona in this new town or else I will get alcohol back in my life.
    I know its no good and I absolutely agree with everything that Kevin and mick are saying about the true bullshit nature of fkn alcohol.
    I don’t want it in my life and I will keep trying until I make it to day 365 and beyond.
    Thanks again and I really appreciate the high quality advice from alcohol mastery.

  5. Bev

    I hesitate to ask, but is there any way I can contact you privately?


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