Most things that happen in life are irrelevant, in the grand scheme of things… Very few things that are said or done will make a difference… Very few people in your life will make a difference… I love that! It means that once you figure out what really does make a difference in your life, you have something worthwhile to focus all your energies on…
How’re you doing? I’m Kevin O’Hara for alcoholmastery.com.
Today, I want to talk about the subtle art of just not giving a fuck.
What does it mean the subtle art of not giving a fuck?
What should you not give a fuck about?
I think most things in life.
When you’re trying to get a grip on yourself and understand what’s going on in your life, and you’re trying to change other things about your life like your behaviours that are holding you back, just baggage that you’ve been holding on to.
Most of that is down to the fact that we’re social animals and we care what other people think about us.
But, this is grand thinking.
It’s good thinking when you’re in the company of maybe 200 people.
The average village has about 200 people, and it’s nice for us humans to know everyone, and you can understand everyone else. Now we live in communities.
Some of those are one million people.
It’s like what one psychologist called the human zoo.
We’re living in small boxes.
We live with so many people but we know hardly anyone because of the way we are, but we still have this inbuilt natural instinct to care what people think, strangers in most cases.
What I’m really on about here is that you’re trying to move yourself from the person you are now into the person you want to be.
You’re trying to get from A to B.
I’m all about not looking at the massive picture.
You can look at that but you have to come back down and look at the details.
You have to look at how to implement these things, and that’s how we deal with life at the end of the day.
We deal with the right now.
So you have to think about how other people’s opinions of you reflect on what you’re about to do how you’re about to change your life by quitting drinking alcohol.
In most cases, you’re talking about…if you’ve been drinking for any length of time, most of your friends are going to be along the same wavelength.
This is going to be a part of their lives, their entertainment, their congratulating and commiserating.
Alcohol is going to play a big part.
And, you have to look at how these people’s opinions are going to affect you right now. Most of the time, their opinion of you is going to reflect their opinion of themselves.
So when you say you’re quitting, they reflect that back on themselves and say ‘I drink the same as this guy. Do I really need to quit? Do I have a problem with quitting drinking? No’.
And then they make up their own stories.
But you have to know that there are some things in your life that you have to sacrifice in order to progress.
In order to sacrifice, you have to garner this feeling of you not giving a fuck.
Because, if you don’t sacrifice certain people, they’re going to hold you back. If you don’t sacrifice certain environments, they’re going to hold you back.
So, you have to really sit down and think about these things.
Think about which parts of your life are going to hold you back or pull you forwards.
This is one of the most difficult things you will ever do, I guarantee that.
It’s more difficult than the quitting drinking; that’s the easy part.
This is where the tough work comes in, making these decisions.
I get a lot of emails from people who say ‘I’ve quit drinking for a year, and I still hang around with people who drink’
Most of my family drinks.
If I were to take out the whole of my family because they drink, then I’d be a sorry lonely person.
It’s the same thing with my diet.
If I only hung around people who didn’t eat meat, I’d be a sad person.
Everyone to their own, but you have to make the choices.
Some people in my life, there was no way on earth I could still hang around because our relationship was strictly based on alcohol. With other parts of my life, with my family for instance, there’s so much more depth to those relationships than alcohol.
But with certain people…you have to make that distinction first.
You have to understand this about these people and the environment.
Are there other parts of this environment that involve other things apart from the alcohol?
If not, then get rid of them.
Build up this attitude of ‘I don’t give a fuck’.
Maybe later on you can try and rekindle some of these relationships.
No problem with me talking with people who are drinking in front of me.
I don’t care about going into a shop and there’s booze all around me.
I don’t care anymore.
It doesn’t have any effect over me anymore.
I’m just saying that there are certain parts of your life that you have to tear down in order to rebuild again.
These things are so embedded in your thinking, your behaviour and what got you to this place, that they can’t continue the way they are.
So, you have to either destroy them, or you can break them down in order to rebuild.
Think about it from the perspective of gathering this attitude of not giving a fuck.
Hopefully you got something out of that.
It wasn’t meant to offend anyone who doesn’t like swearing, but that’s part of who I am.
If it doesn’t suit me and my family, then I don’t give a fuck.
That’s the way you have to think about some things.
I mean there are times you should give a fuck, when you can do something about something that’s happening.
But anyway, I’m going to stop this before I start rambling on too much.
If you have any questions, leave them down below. If you have any suitable topics for videos…as you can see, my range of topics is fairly wide.
Give us a shout.
Send me an email with suggestions.
Come on over to the website if you’re just starting out and you need help.
We have the Quit Drinking starter packs which have a couple of bits and pieces.
Take care, and keep the alcohol out of your mouth.
THE KEY TO HAPPINESS IS TO STOP GIVING A FUCK.
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!
Thank you Kevin. You are awesome. I wish there were more people in this world like you.
Hi Kevin, another great video, so very true about being with old friends that still drink, I went for a couple of days away with a friend that still drinks, I ended up having a few vodkas, but I think lucky for me it tasted like shit , so as u say I don’t give a fuck what they do, I’m not drinking alcohol, thanks Kev, pete
What a good video .I am having some friends visiting this weekend and we are going to a country music weekend festival . This is daunting for me as I don’t usually go out since my Husband died. The thought of everyone looking at me as I try to strut my stuff is scary and I thought of a few drinks to help my confidence. But as you say who gives a fuck what they think . You are so right . Hope I keep that in mind . Dee.