Today I wanted to talk about – quitting drinking is all about learning in different situations.
When you were drinking alcohol, the more you drink alcohol, the more confined you get in the things that you do in life.
As I say in one of the other videos, variety is the spice of life, right, and in a normal life we expand what we do, we get our buzzes from different areas of life, we do different things.
As we meet more people our knowledge expands, our experience expands, and so does the life we visit, many different places, we build many different hobbies and interests. All that kind of stuff.
But as you get more and more into alcohol or any drug, that experience starts to contract.
And as alcohol becomes more and more a part of your life – you need to drink alcohol, in many different situations – so you start drinking alcohol in many different situations.
So anywhere that you can’t drink alcohol or any time that you can’t drink alcohol – you dismiss.
This is the way I was and eventually you get to a stage in your life when you’re just thinking -“Jesus, you know, like I’m not doing anything anymore, all I am doing is drinking.”
And consequences follow that your life is, your body is, your health is – starts to suffer, your mental health and your physical health, your relationships start to suffer, your finances, all these other areas of life start to suffer.
And when you quit drinking, it’s really all about, expanding out again
And, a lot of these situations, a lot of things that you’re going to do in your new life, have to be learned, right?
So, you’re going to have to learn how to deal with alcohol – without – deal with life without alcohol in terms of relaxation, going to sleep and dealing with problems.
You’re going to have to go to social functions without dealing with alcohol.
You know there are plenty of places where you can go, social functions which are so called, dry function, non-alcohol functions, where people are not drinking alcohol and you know, that’s fine.
If you can do that in the first few weeks and months, then fair enough.
But eventually you are going to have times when you are going to have to deal with going to social functions, going to Birthdays and Weddings and Christenings and all that kind of stuff where other people are drinking and couldn’t give two fucks about whether you are not drinking or not.
They’re doing their thing, and you know, no slight onto you at all, it’s just that they’re doing what they’re doing and this is their world.
So, you have to get to a stage, where you’re grown accustomed to that without freaking out, without thinking, – “Well, I can’t handle this or I need a drink.”
And, you know, but these are all learning experiences, the more you don’t drink, the more learning experiences, you’re going to put yourself into.
You know, life is just going to throw you these things every so often and you’ll learn as you go along and that’s really what this video is about is not to.
As I say the first few days and weeks, might be about aversion, avoiding things, ignoring people who are calling you and saying to come out drinking, avoiding pubs and all that kind of stuff.
But eventually you’re going to have to go into those places, you’re going to have to do things, so eventually, you’re going to have to learn the skills that are necessary to change those areas of your life.
Quitting drinking alcohol is a moment to re-decision that you take
Changing your behaviour and changing the lifestyle that you’ve been doing over the years, that takes a lot more hard work.
That’s where all the real hard work comes in. It’s easy not to do something.
If you were locked up in a prison cell for a month and there was no alcohol there.
You’d quit drinking, right, you wouldn’t be able to drink.
And you probably would have a few cares about – “Oh well, I’d love a drink now or you know, I can’t really do this” – but you can’t do it, so you’d do it.
If somebody said to you – “Well look I’ll give you a million quid if you quit drinking for a year. And you only get it after the year and you’re going to be timed and you’re going to be watched and all this kind of stuff” – you’d do it.
There would be no doubt about it – you’d do it.
It just depends on your motivations, right?
If you’ve got a good enough reason to do these things, then you will do them.
So, whenever we’re talking about quitting drinking, whenever I’m talking about quitting drinking, I am always talking about behavioural change.
It’s about changing the life style.
It’s about learning to do the new things in your life, learning how to relax, learning how to sleep, learning how to solve your problems, learning how to deal with strangers, learning how to deal with your friends, learning how to socialise in different areas.
Learning different hobbies and skills and it’s all about learning.
You may have to re-learn some of the things, but I think mostly, for me anyway.
I was drinking for thirty years, so all the things, I’d used to do in my past, in my youth, have got no relevance now because I’m a grown man, not doing the same things, not interested in the same things that I was when I was young.
So, it’s all about learning different things
Some of it is learning coping skills, and some of it is learning, how to, so the coping skills are like sleeping and relaxation and all that kind of stuff, how to deal with certain situations and experiences in life.
And the other parts of learning are learning alternative ways, alternative hobbies and all that kind of stuff.
So, the skills that you need to learn and what you do yourself are going to be different to what I needed to do.
You might have no problem sleeping for instance or you might not have been using alcohol as a social lubricant, you might be quite good at doing that, without alcohol.
So, they’re not something that you can write down in a book, they’re going to be a personal thing for you.
So, you really have to spend some time and effort, just thinking about yourself and thinking about your own situation and looking at each part of your life where you do drink alcohol and then taking each one of those in isolation and try to work out ways that you’re going to change the situation for yourself and how you’re going to move forward.
So, just a quick video there, just to say that every part of your life is going to require you to approach it differently.
Maybe just a little bit differently, but differently all the same.
And each part of your life is going to require you to learn a different skill.
And that’s what it’s all about.
We all are learning animals, right, you learn as we go along, we learn bit by bit, you’ll learn, on what, based on what you know already and you add to that you know.
Some of the stuff, you might know, might be bullshit.
It’s the same as me.
A lot of times you go through life and you think well the stuff that I’ve been doing all along has been harming me, like drinking alcohol for instance, smoking cigarettes, eating crappy foods, thinking that you’re invincible when you’re younger and all that kind of stuff, you know.
So, it’s a learning process, life is a learning process, you learn through experience, you learn through listening to yourself, through thinking and you know that’s all quitting drinking alcohol is really all about, it’s learning new skills, so, I hope you got something out of this video.
If you liked the video give it a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel if you haven’t already subscribed.
“We must learn a new way to think, before you can master a new way to be”
Until next time…
Keep the Alcohol out of your Mouth
Take care of yourself
Onwards and Upwards!
Thanks so much for a very insightful, practical, and
Glad you enjoyed it Cynthia 🙂
Thanks Kevin, could relate to everything you say.
Your posts help me so much, 4 days no drink today and feeling pleased, thanks to you 🙂
You’re welcome Jackie
Spot on video!