If you’re in those early preparation days, if you haven’t actually got around to quitting alcohol yet, then one of the tips I can give you is to make sure to tell someone who is close to you.
Tell your friend, tell your partner but just tell someone who can hold you to ransom, so to speak.
Today, I want to talk about telling a friend to get a little bit of leverage on yourself.
It’s important to tell the people in your life about your intentions to change from the beginning, before the beginning if you can.
Because it gives them a chance to come to terms with things themselves, to deal with the fact that there’s going to be a change in your life and that change is going to necessarily have an outward snowball effect on their lives as well.
What this video is about is how you tell people.
This is going to make a massive difference.
I think this is one of the most important lessons that I’ve learned since I started alcohol mastery.
How you tell people about your change is going to affect how they perceive you, or what you’re doing; your actions from now on and your actions from before.
If you tell people that you’re quitting alcohol, then you know what they’re going to think.
You have a good idea what they’re going to think.
They’re going to think ‘why do you want to quit alcohol? Do you need to quit alcohol? Have you got a problem with alcohol?’
You do, or you did, whatever.
‘Are you an alcoholic?’
These are the questions that are going to float through that person’s mind as soon as they hear you’re quitting alcohol.
Why do you need to say that?
This is not what you’re doing.
This is about changing your life, the bad things that you’re doing in your life, and alcohol just happens to be one of those bad things.
So, I suggest that you don’t tell people you’re quitting drinking alcohol.
As soon as you focus on that one thing, then that’s what they’re going to focus on.
As soon as you say you’re quitting drinking alcohol, they’re going to focus on your quitting drinking alcohol.
On the other hand, if you say ‘I’m going to make some changes in my life. My life is not feeling my age’, whatever way you frame this to the people in your life, you’ve got to do it in such a way that it’s about overall lifestyle change.
You want to get out walking more, you want to exercise more, you want to change your diet so you want to stop eating so much junk food or whatever.
Figure out those changes that you want to make in your life, a lot of different, personal, physical lifestyle changes.
And you put alcohol in there with that thing as well because we all have different things that we want to change.
Alcohol is not the thing, it’s just a part of the structure.
When you take alcohol out of the equation, you’ll realise that the whole structure is still there.
You’ll start seeing some of the other habits that you’re doing that you don’t want to do anymore.
So, you’re not kidding anyone.
You’re not lying, you’re putting things into perspective.
When you’ve got someone who drinks, they do so many other things as well.
So, you’ve got to approach this from a lifestyle perspective, and when you approach it to other people and say ‘this is what I want to do in my life’, they’re not going to focus on the alcohol anymore.
There’s no need to be ashamed about any of this because drinking alcohol is one part of it.
I see so many people who are living good lifestyles.
They eat right, exercise right, try and improve their minds.
I listen to a lot of podcasts, a lot of YouTube videos of people and they look healthy.
But, they still drink alcohol.
That, to me, is not hypocritical but it’s sort of defeating the whole purpose.
It’s like someone saying ‘I don’t eat saturated fat.
I try and exercise 2 or 3 times a week, I do proper weights.
I look after my skin’ and then the next breath, they take out a pack of cigarettes and light up a fire.
You’d look at them as if they were mad.
I guarantee you that in 10 years’ time, maybe less maybe more, we’re going to start looking at alcohol in the same light because it’s heading that way.
All these bullshit excuses that the alcohol companies are coming out with to try and convince us of the benefits of alcohol, that’s all gone.
The damage that alcohol is causing in our society, governments cannot hide from them.
Eventually, there’s going to have to be something done about that.
In Ireland, they’re saying that they’re going to be bringing new packets for the cigarettes where there is no branding on the boxes.
You can’t print labels on it anymore.
It’s going to be white exactly the same type of box, no fancy box.
They’re not going to encourage people to go ‘oh what a nice fancy box.’
New way of opening up a pack of cigarettes just causes young people to smoke because it’s novelty.
So, that’s the way cigarettes have gone.
And that’s only over the last 10 or 15 years that we’ve really taken a dislike to smoking cigarettes.
If you look at 50 years ago, doctors were encouraging people to smoke certain brands of cigarettes.
That has changed over time because of the damage that it’s been causing.
Because of the overall damage to the society, the amount of money that’s been put out.
People see that.
3 ½ million people every year.
You can’t go through that many people.
You can’t say the hospitals are filling up with people who are dying because of self-caused illnesses and not doing anything about it.
What it does take is a politician who’s got the courage to stand up and be counted.
To say ‘this is absolutely ridiculous. We can’t tolerate big businesses making fortunes out of the deaths of our children’.
That’s what it’s going to take, but that’s down in the future somewhere.
But getting back to what I was talking about earlier, about telling someone, telling the people in your life: you can help yourself by a)not telling them or putting it into your own perspective about how you’re going to frame this in a conversation with other people.
How you’re going to tell people ‘I know that it’s a part of an overall process of breaking down the whole framework that you’ve built up around your life, and drinking just happens to be part of that.
As I say, you’ll notice that once you’ve taken the alcohol out of your life.
You’ll see all the areas where it’s not the alcohol that has the influence, it’s the lifestyle.
The lifestyle is the thing that is holding that up, the people that you hang around with, the places that you go, and you’ll see that it’s one habit that’s supporting other habits.
It’s like these keystone habits that sort of builds up onto another.
When you bring a good habit into your life, one habit builds on another.
One day you’ll say ‘I’m going to start exercising more’ and the next day ‘I’m going to walk to work instead of taking the bus, it’s only 2km. I’m going to walk the kids to school’ or whatever.
You start to think ‘I’m saving money and petrol’, and you start looking at other areas.
It’s a very simple example, I know, but one good habit leads to another good habit.
It’s the opposite effect as well, one bad habit leads to another bad habit.
So, I know I’m getting off track here, but you’ll understand once you start taking these big habits out of your life, that when you replace a bad habit with a good habit, you’ll start to build on that.
You’ll start to gain momentum in your life and build on that inspiration that you’re giving to yourself.
You’ll get motivation from it, and you’ll build on previous commitments and just carry them forward.
It is important to tell someone.
If you tell someone and frame it in the right way, what you’re doing is you’re getting it out there in the world for other people to know what you’re doing.
To sort of solidify your motivation. You don’t want to let other people down.
That’s it for today.
A bit of a ranty video, but there you go.
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GOOD FRIENDS DON’T LET YOU DO STUPID THINGS.
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!
Kevin, thanks a great video, I have to say that I agree that governments will have to stand up and be counted and take the drink industries on. A great motivational talk. Go raibh maith agat! Teresa