One of the questions I always get asked is how do you get that determination to stick to what your plan is, to quit drinking and stick to it no matter what?
Let’s have a look.
I want to talk about having a plan and sticking to it.
One of the things that I get a lot of feedback on is a lot of people about, a lot of people last a couple days, some last a week, and they don’t seem to be able to push themselves through to get to the other side; to have the commitment to stick things out.
A lot of the time, it’s because they don’t have a plan of how they’re going to get there or they’re trying to find ways of getting around what they have to do.
This is all going to take discomfort.
It’s all going to take a bit of pain at the end of the day.
There’s nothing in life that’s worthwhile having that’s not difficult enough to get.
When I’m talking about difficulties, I’m talking about getting outside your comfort zone, putting yourself into a place where change is going to happen.
Putting yourself into a place where you’re having to think about what you’re doing.
For me when I was drinking, that was the whole essence of why I got so far into it, and I think it’s the same for many people.
It’s the easiest thing to do when you’re trying to relax or trying to get out of it; it’s the easiest thing to just sit down and have those few drinks.
Thinking ‘’what should I do today? I’ll finish up the day with a glass of wine’’.
No matter what the situation in my life was, there was always alcohol.
Alcohol snuck in there somehow, one way or another.
It becomes so comfortable to do this, that even in the face of the obvious pain that you go through day in and day out because of the drinking, all the energy and time and money that’s been slowly sapped away from your life because of your drinking, you’re still going to stick it out because it’s the comfortable thing to do.
And when you have any problems, you can forget them almost immediately by taking a drink.
When you’re put under pressure, it’s the first thing that you think of doing, is ‘I need a drink. I can’t go through this without a drink’, and you tell yourself this over and over again, and it becomes a part of who you are, becomes a part of your modus operandi, the way you operate.
I was talking about this and trying to develop this a bit more, that your mind is at the core of everything that you do, and it takes a while before you can change that.
This whole change process is, you know, a process.
You have to go through all the shit and all the pain…and to be honest, it’s not that much.
I mean, I drank for thirty-odd years and I didn’t feel that much pain.
I think you can hide in the pain, you can lower the pain. Some people can go through the pain and there just is no pain at all, they don’t see it as pain, they see it as a release.
Somebody has opened up the door of their prison that they’ve been in for the last few years and they’re free to do what they want.
It’s one of the most difficult things, to push past that automatic feeling of being able to drown out most of your worries – and drown them out is the operative word – through drinking alcohol.
You don’t have to think about these things because all you have to do is take a drink.
When shit starts hitting the fan, take a drink.
So, that’s one of the things that you have to try and get away from, and a plan is very helpful there.
If you plan what you’re going to do, if you plan yourself well, then you’ll find it much easier to know what to do when you find yourself in a situation.
If you go into this and you’re not really prepared, you don’t know what you’re going to do when a certain situation happens, your automatic reaction is to have a drink.
‘’I feel like shit, I don’t think I can do this’’, and you’re all the time looking for ways around you quitting drinking, so you try to find opportunities to go back on the drinking, anything that will get you back to where you started out from.
If you keep doing this, you’re never going to succeed.
You have to push through and not drink alcohol, and the only way to do that is to have a plan, stick to it and go through it.
Go through the pain, go through whatever shit it takes, go through the discomfort and keep going through the discomfort until you’re out the other side.
The discomfort is a gradually diminishing thing in your life.
You’ll feel more discomfort on the first day, less on the second day, less on the third day.
Of course, if you have a really shitty day in the week, you might feel more discomfort then, but it’s something that won’t last.
It’s not going to last.
The more you get into this, the more the days tick by and you don’t put alcohol into your mouth, you don’t give into that backward thinking, then the better it’s going to be, the easier it will be, the quicker you’ll get to your destination and your goals.
Sometimes, the best way of doing this is just to barrel on through.
To go ‘’right, that’s it, I’m doing it. No matter what else happens I’m doing this’’, and just crack on.
You’ll find out once you make that commitment to doing that, once you find out that strength inside yourself, and you decide to stop looking for excuses, stop looking for ways around the problem, stop looking for things that you can do which will get you back to the alcohol.
Once you stop doing that, you’ll find that you’ll gain strength from that, and everything else being equal, the discomfort will feel less, it won’t feel as strong.
That’s it for today.
It’s basically to have a plan, stick to the plan, stop trying to look for ways of circumventing your plan and your decision to quit drinking.
Know that you have to do it if you want to quit drinking.
If you want to get alcohol out of your life, then this is the only way you can do it, to actually stop doing it.
If you don’t want to get alcohol out of your life, if you haven’t got that into your head now that alcohol is shit, it’s poison, it’s not doing you any good, then you have to work a bit more on that.
You have to find where the weakest areas are in your life, and work on them.
If you can work on them, then you’re going to find solutions to your problems of persistence and why you can stick it out.
So, I hope that makes sense, there wasn’t too much of a ramble this morning.
Until next time, keep the alcohol out of your mouth, stay healthy, stay safe, and I’ll see you next time.
THOSE WHO FAIL TO PLAN, PLAN TO FAIL
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!