One of the questions I always get asked is how do you get that determination to stick to what your plan is, to quit drinking and stick to it no matter what?
Let’s have a look.
I want to talk about having a plan and sticking to it.
One of the things that I get a lot of feedback on is a lot of people about, a lot of people last a couple days, some last a week, and they don’t seem to be able to push themselves through to get to the other side; to have the commitment to stick things out.
A lot of the time, it’s because they don’t have a plan of how they’re going to get there or they’re trying to find ways of getting around what they have to do.
This is all going to take discomfort.
It’s all going to take a bit of pain at the end of the day.
There’s nothing in life that’s worthwhile having that’s not difficult enough to get.
When I’m talking about difficulties, I’m talking about getting outside your comfort zone, putting yourself into a place where change is going to happen.
Putting yourself into a place where you’re having to think about what you’re doing.
For me when I was drinking, that was the whole essence of why I got so far into it, and I think it’s the same for many people.
It’s the easiest thing to do when you’re trying to relax or trying to get out of it; it’s the easiest thing to just sit down and have those few drinks.
Thinking ‘’what should I do today? I’ll finish up the day with a glass of wine’’.
No matter what the situation in my life was, there was always alcohol.
Alcohol snuck in there somehow, one way or another.
It becomes so comfortable to do this, that even in the face of the obvious pain that you go through day in and day out because of the drinking, all the energy and time and money that’s been slowly sapped away from your life because of your drinking, you’re still going to stick it out because it’s the comfortable thing to do.
And when you have any problems, you can forget them almost immediately by taking a drink.
When you’re put under pressure, it’s the first thing that you think of doing, is ‘I need a drink. I can’t go through this without a drink’, and you tell yourself this over and over again, and it becomes a part of who you are, becomes a part of your modus operandi, the way you operate.
I was talking about this and trying to develop this a bit more, that your mind is at the core of everything that you do, and it takes a while before you can change that.
This whole change process is, you know, a process.
You have to go through all the shit and all the pain…and to be honest, it’s not that much.
I mean, I drank for thirty-odd years and I didn’t feel that much pain.
I think you can hide in the pain, you can lower the pain. Some people can go through the pain and there just is no pain at all, they don’t see it as pain, they see it as a release.
Somebody has opened up the door of their prison that they’ve been in for the last few years and they’re free to do what they want.
It’s one of the most difficult things, to push past that automatic feeling of being able to drown out most of your worries – and drown them out is the operative word – through drinking alcohol.
You don’t have to think about these things because all you have to do is take a drink.
When shit starts hitting the fan, take a drink.
So, that’s one of the things that you have to try and get away from, and a plan is very helpful there.
If you plan what you’re going to do, if you plan yourself well, then you’ll find it much easier to know what to do when you find yourself in a situation.
If you go into this and you’re not really prepared, you don’t know what you’re going to do when a certain situation happens, your automatic reaction is to have a drink.
‘’I feel like shit, I don’t think I can do this’’, and you’re all the time looking for ways around you quitting drinking, so you try to find opportunities to go back on the drinking, anything that will get you back to where you started out from.
If you keep doing this, you’re never going to succeed.
You have to push through and not drink alcohol, and the only way to do that is to have a plan, stick to it and go through it.
Go through the pain, go through whatever shit it takes, go through the discomfort and keep going through the discomfort until you’re out the other side.
The discomfort is a gradually diminishing thing in your life.
You’ll feel more discomfort on the first day, less on the second day, less on the third day.
Of course, if you have a really shitty day in the week, you might feel more discomfort then, but it’s something that won’t last.
It’s not going to last.
The more you get into this, the more the days tick by and you don’t put alcohol into your mouth, you don’t give into that backward thinking, then the better it’s going to be, the easier it will be, the quicker you’ll get to your destination and your goals.
Sometimes, the best way of doing this is just to barrel on through.
To go ‘’right, that’s it, I’m doing it. No matter what else happens I’m doing this’’, and just crack on.
You’ll find out once you make that commitment to doing that, once you find out that strength inside yourself, and you decide to stop looking for excuses, stop looking for ways around the problem, stop looking for things that you can do which will get you back to the alcohol.
Once you stop doing that, you’ll find that you’ll gain strength from that, and everything else being equal, the discomfort will feel less, it won’t feel as strong.
That’s it for today.
It’s basically to have a plan, stick to the plan, stop trying to look for ways of circumventing your plan and your decision to quit drinking.
Know that you have to do it if you want to quit drinking.
If you want to get alcohol out of your life, then this is the only way you can do it, to actually stop doing it.
If you don’t want to get alcohol out of your life, if you haven’t got that into your head now that alcohol is shit, it’s poison, it’s not doing you any good, then you have to work a bit more on that.
You have to find where the weakest areas are in your life, and work on them.
If you can work on them, then you’re going to find solutions to your problems of persistence and why you can stick it out.
So, I hope that makes sense, there wasn’t too much of a ramble this morning.
Until next time, keep the alcohol out of your mouth, stay healthy, stay safe, and I’ll see you next time.
THOSE WHO FAIL TO PLAN, PLAN TO FAIL
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!
I’m really struggling with quitting. I was wondering if you could share your experience with your last day of drinking and when you woke up the next day where you hungover? How did you get through that first 24 hour period? Did you leave the house or go to work Etc… I can’t seem to get through one day without it. It’s really hard for me now because I was fired from my job and have way to much free time on my hands. Let me know if you have suggestions.
I’ll do a video on this one, I think that will be of more value to you. One thing you could do with the free time is look for another job…not suggesting you’re not doing it already…you have 24 hours in every day, it’s up to you what you do with them, including drinking…It is a struggle, but it’s well worth it. When I have free time now, no matter how bored I am, drinking alcohol is not something I would even consider…you’ll get to that stage as well. It doesn’t take long. Get rid of the booze, don’t buy any more, don’t go to the pub, and at the end of the day, don’t put any alcohol into your mouth. Everything else is how you choose to live. It’s change, you’re going to change, but that change is all for your benefit.
Thanks again Kev ,good effort
pure and simple wisdom. The man is HONEST and to the point.
And speaks from experience.
I’m from france but live in USA right now, I plan stop drink in the next…Days or (month), just one thing, can we podcast your videos like MP3? I would like to listen this when I run…
Thank a lot in advance and congrats for stop drinking!!
Hi Mathieu, yes you can find the podcast on iTunes… It’s under Alcohol Mastery. You can also download the MP3s underneath the video on each one of the posts. Glad you’re enjoying 🙂
Hi Kevin. I had a Glip last Week. Felt so annoyed and also poorly. I watched your Video on what if I Drink again which really helped me, this video, has been great. I know my weakness, what triggers me to rush out for Wine and drink it to relief the pain. I have put a plan in place, when I return to the UK I have to spend a week with family. but I shall if I feel under stress put in ear phones and listen to you or read my notes. Also I have support from my friend. I have no other option but to stay with family, but I am sure without Alcohol in my system I will be able to cope better.
PS. I tried to buy 30 Day Course, but I don’t have PayPal. Maybe I will set up an account when I return to UK.
Hope you enjoy your stay with your family… Support from friends is a really important thing… Most important is mind over matter!
Love your videos and all that beautiful open space. It’s like having my own AA meeting inside my home. I woke up 7/9/17 in bed with the first thought of what store sells alchohol the earliest here in chicago on that Sunday morning. Counting my money in my head to be sure I had enough for two bottles of wine because one was never enough. Then I found you. Well I didn’t drink that day and have been sober since. It’s nice to depend on me the next day. Getting things done. Like you said don’t count the days make the days count. Thanks again
Hi. Kevin a thirty year plus total piss head butcher from England.Now living in Thailand married with a beautiful daughter. Past history in brief drank two businesses away, prison three times you name it. But it was always the drinks fault . Tried AA went to one meeting in Holland Park London full of yuppies telling me to forget my family in Thailand and dedicate my life to AA, bunch of wankers. Returned to Thailand drank for another ten years , about a month ago was on You tube saw one of your videos on don’t blame the drink. That was a month and a bit ago follow you every day don’t think about drink will never touch it again. So a big fucking thank you for saving my life. Steve
Just woke up to day 3 alcohol free after spending the last two weeks listening to your podcasts and watching your youtube videos which have given me incredible motivation to get this shite out of my life – kevin, your no-nonsense approach makes so much sense, how we as a species have let the booze industry trick us into thinking it is sophisticated to drink something that turns us into non-thinking zombies is preposterous when you step back and view it for what it is.
Your story resonates so much with mine in terms of age, culture and how I have forged 32 years of a life creating this ridiculous perception that this is my culture and I should be proud of it, the only difference is the location. The final trigger for me was in the off licence this weekend when I bought a bottle of gin for the wife. The one she asked me to get has been voted “best gin in the world” recently. The bloke serving me said “such an good choice – its tastes so nice” and I thought – “stop talking shit mate, it tastes crap and is only sold to get you pissed, you’re just spreading the bullshit!” Keep up the great work pal