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People Major in Minor Things – Focusing Attention When Quitting Booze Transcript
Do you major in minor things?
Jim Rohn, the motivational speaker said
‘learn how to separate the majors and the minors. A lot of people don’t do well simply because they have majored in minor things.’
Today, I want to talk about specialising in minor things, concentrating too much on minor things.
When you’re quitting drinking, I think one of the worst things that you can do is to try and focus too much on the details about what’s going to happen in the future, what is going to happen and where this is going to take you, where’s your new life going to take you?
It can really stall your progress.
It’s going to make a lot of people think twice about doing it because they fear the unknown.
They don’t really want to put themselves into a territory where they feel uncomfortable, and they don’t do it.
They bottle it before they even start.
A lot of the reason for this because they’ve talked themselves out of it by thinking about stuff that doesn’t really matter, about stuff that might never happen.
This the big problem.
When you start out on this journey and get to your last week before you quit, most people start looking on the internet for help advice, a little bit of guidance here and there, and expectations.
Expectations can lead to ruination because it can stop you from doing things.
A lot of the people on the internet have got this buzz that they will forever be alcoholics.
You can see pride in this people that every day they get up and they beat this thing.
20 years later and they’re still harping on about how they beat alcohol.
It’s holding on to something which is ruining them and stopping them from moving forward.
It’s like someone who has a first love or they are married to someone they really care about, and the other person for whatever reason has a fall out with them and wants a divorce or separate, but this person goes ‘every day I get up and I think about this person. They’re the love of my life but they’ll always be a part of me, but I just take it one day after another, I don’t know how I’m ever going to move on to dating another person’, but the other person is off with their new partner, they may be getting married and having kids.
They don’t give a fuck.
That’s what it is.
It’s this problem where what you focus on is what you keep in your life.
It’s what grows in your life.
If you carry on focusing on the alcohol…
Fuck the alcohol.
Alcohol has got no grip on you at all.
You have the grip on yourself.
If you say over and over to yourself ‘I’m never going to get away from alcohol. Alcohol is the beast, the devil. Alcohol is whatever.’, then that’s exactly where it’s going to be in your mind.
Alcohol is nothing if it’s not inside your body and mind.
There’s only one person that lets alcohol inside your mind.
There’s only one person that allows alcohol to have that status of being the demon, and that’s you.
3 ½ years off alcohol, I drank alcohol for 33 years.
If alcoholism was a disease, I would be faint every time I see a pint of Guinness.
I’d feel like it has a hold on me.
Alcohol has no hold on you.
Alcohol is all full of toxins.
But we don’t see that.
We see it as being something else, something that’s part of our lives.
If I was to walk into a bar where you get this good pint of Guinness, then I think I’d get nostalgic.
The nostalgia of sitting in the bar, chatting to the bar man and someone who happens to be in the corner.
I can do that anyway, I don’t need to poison myself to do that.
I don’t need to sit in a bar day in and day out for the rest of my life.
All these things are just mirages.
It’s all done to ourselves, really.
So, I guess the topic of this video is don’t concentrate on the minor things.
Concentrate on the big things in your life, on the goal that you’re heading out towards.
I think by all means, if you’re doing positive thinking, thinking about your future and how you can replace alcohol, then by all means, look down into the details.
You’re better off breaking things down into the smallest possible chunk in order to make progress.
But when you’re looking at the negative side of it, thinking about quitting drinking and what might happen, this is not productive.
It only puts barriers in your way, and that’s what you’re trying to do, destroy the barriers in your path.
Put barriers into ever going back but lift any barriers that are hindering you from making your own progress.
When you start thinking about quitting drinking and you go ‘how am I going to sleep? How will I relax and socialize?’
If you’re doing this in a negative way, then it’s going to drag you back.
If you’re thinking about it in a positive way like ‘how am I going to sleep? What if I can’t sleep? What’s the worst? I lose a few days sleep but I lose the alcohol.’
Which is worse? Carrying on drinking or losing a few nights’ sleep?
I was reading about Oliver Reed, he died many years ago in a bar in Cork.
The guy was a heavy drinker most of his life, but he was trying to stop.
The problem was he went to a bar in Cork, and he was goaded into having a session and drinking a lot of booze because he had a reputation.
He let the best get over him, and he had a heart attack right there on the stool.
It was so sad.
He was one of my favourite actors because of how he was, but he was an asshole to some people.
I think he reminded me of one of my uncles.
The point is that if you think about these things in a negative way, or think about the details and start narrowing down the details of what might go wrong, all the things that might cause you pain and discomfort when you stop.
You blow all these in your mind before you start.
Fear is a product of your own mind.
It doesn’t exist outside of the individual.
Fear exists in a human and an animal, but it’s a reaction to what’s going on outside, but you don’t have to react that way, you can react in a different way.
You can react in a different way to your preparation.
Prepare yourself well by thinking about the positives.
Forget about the alcohol because it’s one thing.
Once you stop, that’s it.
There is no more to it than that.
Restructuring your life is about moving forward and restructuring that framework that has allowed you to drink all these years.
That’s what you have to do.
Forget about the fear of quitting.
Quitting is nothing.
Push your energies on the future.
Think about details in that aspect and how you’re going to move forward day by day. Put up with the discomfort for a few days.
I guarantee you that the less time you give alcohol, the less influence it has over your life.
Alcohol has got no influence over your mind.
It’s not as if we’ve got two different minds, it’s one mind and you’re the one that controls it.
You’re the one that tells your mind which direction to go, the thought to think.
This is all your mind.
You can change your mind all the time.
You can direct your mind forwards or backwards.
It’s completely up to you.
So what’s the problem?
The problem is we don’t think we have that control.
We think we can’t help it.
All these things called craving and side effects.
These are all products of the mind.
They’re the reaction of your mind to the physical happenings of your body.
If you’ve been drinking for a long time and you stoop suddenly, you’re obviously going to have physical consequences.
But, if you carry on drinking, you’re also going to have physical consequences.
Now which physical consequences would you rather have?
The ones that you’re going to get when you quit are far less than the ones that you will get if you carry on.
That’s the simple logic of this.
I’m going to finish this off by saying that every step you take in the right direction, every thought you think in the forward momentum direction gives you strength and adds to your momentum.
It keeps tugging you forwards bit by bit.
Every negative thought you have in the opposite direction by the time you break down the minor things about the drinking and what might happen, that negativity brings you backwards and destroys your confidence.
It breaks your faith down in yourself.
If you’re going to break things down into smaller things, then break your goals down into smaller things.
That’s progress in the right direction.
If you go in the wrong direction, it’s regressing not progress.
If you have any comments, leave a comment down below.
I’d love to hear what you think about this.
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Until next time, stay safe, keep the alcohol out of your mouth, and always look at the bigger picture.
Positivity makes you happy.
TO ESCAPE FEAR, YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH IT, NOT AROUND IT.
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!
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