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People Change, You Change, Compatibility Changes, Accept and Move on
Today’s topic is about change. It’s about people changing, you changing and compatibility of changing and that sometimes you just need to accept these changes for what they are and move forwards.
I think that in a lot of areas of our lives, change just happens. I’m always talking about grabbing hold of the change and directing it where you want it to go, and the more you can self direct that change, the more control you have over it and the more chance you have of that change leading you somewhere where you really want to go.
A lot of the time the changes that place, are not changes that you want to happen and this is where getting out of your comfort zone comes in, and a lot of people don’t want to make changes because of that.
People talk about what the effects on their social life which is going to alter in one way or another and some social relationships and certain relationship within your family are going to alter because you have stopped drinking. You may even loose some of those relationships, some of them you may want to lose, but the point is a lot of this stuff is part of a very natural gradual progress that will happen as you move forwards, it’s not going to happen overnight.
When you are on that side of not drinking and you think about all the repercussions of what’s going to happen when you stop drinking and the changes that you will have to make including with the people in your life, people look at it as although it is going to be big upheaval but it doesn’t happen like that. It happens in a very gradual state and as you move into this state it is done by a bit by bit process, it’s very dynamic.
You may move forwards with the thought “I’m not going to change any relationships or friendships” and that’s fine, you don’t have to think about it like that, you just need to be aware that change is going to happen.
You can’t move forward without change forward so just accept it and deal with it.
Think about it this way, most people in life have changes that happen and those changes are forced on them. They have to go through the change and they don’t have any say in the changes that happen. One of the massive benefits of quitting drinking and the getting alcohol, the toxin out of your life, is that you change your behaviour as a result. You are in the driving seat of the whole experience, you can take where you are and you can choose which direction you’ll going to move forwards to.
You have an opportunity of a massive change in your life, that so many people don’t have.
I drank alcohol for thirty plus years and during that time I was gradually being lead down the one path, the one dead end path. There was only one end for this relationship between me and alcohol and that was me having a shitty quality of life, relying more and more on alcohol, suffering more and more consequences until I eventually die, because of my alcohol, either by a slow death or a quick death, I don’t know. I always imagined it would be a slow death and that sort of helped me out a lot.
Because alcohol was so pervasive in my life as it is in most other people’s lives, it means that when you stop doing it you’ve got a huge opportunity to change so many parts of your life in one fell swoop. You don’t make the changes overnight, you make them gradually bit by bit by bit but you’ve got the opportunity to really sit down and think about where you want to go and what you want to achieve in life and most people don’t get that opportunity.
You may get that kind of opportunity when you are young and you’ve got your whole life in front of you. When you are setting out into the world, going to College and finding out what you want to do, but no matter where you are in this journey, it you quit drinking and get this toxin out of your life you have that opportunity again of seeing exactly where you want to go. So, it’s all about change.
It’s all about
Directing your own change.
Changing your compatibility with other people and who you think you will and won’t be compatible.
Changing your compatibility with your environment and the places that you used to go to and the places that you want to go to.
Changing your compatibility with your life in general and just seeing where you want to go now
….. and that’s a huge thing
You can tell other people that you are going to quit drinking, in fact I think it’s a good thing to talk to people and explore the consequences together, especial with those people closest to you. But, at the end of the day, you can’t take people with you unless they want to go with you.
Some of them might want to go on the journey with you – not many because most people are too entrenched in this life style of bullshit, they are too caught up in the propaganda of drinking, the normality of drinking – that they don’t want to go there.
It’s like any huge change that you make in life, people will do it when most of the herd are doing it. They don’t want to stand out of the herd and do something on their own because they are afraid of being eaten by the fucking fox. That’s generally what we do, the use the herd mentality when we’re thinking about these things.
As I say some people will want to go with you and will say “Jesus, that sounds good.” and maybe more people will want to go with you after you’ve gone through this whole experience, after you’ve done the ground work, gone through the rough times and they can that you’ve come out the other end, all the better for it, that your life is loads better than it was before.
I think that this is the attraction of a lot of my Videos, where people see where the benefit is and the difference between me now and that day one video and those first few videos that I did. The difference in my life is just amazing, crazy, it’s something that you wouldn’t think, you have to go through and experience to be able to understand it properly.
There’s an old saying that says:
“When you change the way, you look at things, the things that you look at change and they can’t change unless you first change the way you look at them”
That’s exactly the same thing that I’ve gone through.
If you were to ask me where and what I would be in four years’ time when I was quitting alcohol, during those first few days or before I quit or what I would feel like or what I imagined I would be like as a person today, I would be have got some of the things right but some of the things I would have got wrong because I couldn’t see. I was seeing in a drinker’s brain, seeing from a drinker’s perception through a drinker’s mind and it is very difficult to see what it is like to be a non-drinker.
It is a scary thought, it is what kills most people’s attempts at quitting drinking alcohol, because the thought of moving forwards and into their new life is scary, because they can’t see it, because they’re thinking through the mind of a drinker. But when you start to get experience of this you start to alter your perception of what you see and once you change the way you see things, once you alter that perception, then the things that you see start to change themselves.
I just wanted to put that one out there today. It’s the same thing with people, with anything you’re going to do in your life. It’s not a huge thing that’s going to happen overnight but you will gradually change, over time. How you see other people will change and once you change your opinion of them they will change their opinion of you, everything is going to change that way.
I’m going to stop now before I ramble on too much! If you are trying to quit drinking and you want some help come over to https://www.alcoholmastery.com where we have over six hundred different videos. We’ve also got a lot of video courses, that use a step by step approach. There is one on coaching if you are interested in that, there is a forum on Facebook and we will have a forum on the web page in the future. There’s also a secret group on Facebook, there’s a lot of good people on there from various different degrees of alcohol quittingness.
Until next time…
Stay Safe and Good Luck to You.
Onwards and Upwards!
“It takes change to make change”
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