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On Your Quit Drinking Journey Are You Giving Away Your Power?

by | Stop Drinking Alcohol | 3 comments

Today I want to talk about your personal power when you’re trying to quit drinking, if you haven’t succeeded at stepping across that starting line.

You have to ask yourself, are you giving away too much of your personal power?

And what do I mean by personal power?

Your ability to respond.

Your ability to keep control, these are all part of your personal power.

Your ability to go ‘’well, this is what I’m doing and this is what I have to go through in order to get to where I want to go, I’ve got to go through this part of my life, I’ve got to go through this discomfort.’’

That’s a personal power.

One of the things that sap your personal power more than anything else is excuses, making excuses.

I can’t do this because I’m Irish, I can’t do this because my family are drinkers, I can’t do this because I’m an alcoholic – that’s a big one-, I can’t do it because I really don’t feel up to it today, or I don’t feel strong enough today, or I can’t do this because it’s not a good time to do this.

That’s one of the areas that will sap your personal power more than anything else.

Your perceptions of a second way that you can give away your personal power, that’s when you sort of think that somebody else has got it better than you, somebody else has got control over what you’re doing.

Fighting with quitting alcohol when you’re in a partnership with somebody else, you’re in a marriage with somebody else, you’re living with somebody else who carries on drinking.

You give them a power over your choices by saying ‘’they won’t quit drinking. In order for me to quit drinking, they have to quit drinking also. They have to support me in my quitting drinking and if they don’t quit drinking themselves, that’s not supporting me, and that means that I also can’t quit.’’

Another way is to say somebody else has got it easier.

I’ve had this a lot with people saying to me ‘’you moved to Spain, you’ve got it easier and you’ve moved away from the alcohol culture and stuff that you were living in, all your alcohol buddies and stuff.’’

And to be honest, I moved here a year before I stopped drinking.

Far from moving away from an alcohol culture, I had it at the back of my head that I was moving to a place where I could get the alcohol a lot cheaper.

I feel it’s a healthier lifestyle over here for me, but at the end of the day, it makes no bloody difference.

You make the healthier lifestyle the way you want it to.

Most of the people around here where I live, live a lifestyle which is sort of like one big holiday.

They go to work but when they’re off, they drink and booze themselves into…well, as I say, they’re committing suicide but slowly.

They drink a lot of alcohol, eat a lot of shit food and stuff, you can easily get into it, and that’s what I did get into for a long while.

Another sort of perception is that other people have got more power than you, other people have got more willpower than you, they’ve got more stamina than you.

All these are excuses, and you’re basically seeing things from your own perspective.

You’re sort of giving these attributes to other people when you don’t even really know if that’s the case.

Like willpower for instance, is something that we all have in varying degrees, but it’s something that you can build up as well.

You don’t build it up by not using it.

It’s like a muscle, the more you use it, the more willpower you’ve got.

And, in anyone’s life, willpower is a finite thing, it only comes in limited quantities.

And your willpower is always going to depend on the time of day that you’re talking about. As you gradually go through your day, you’re going to have less and less willpower because your willpower relies on energy to keep it going.

With ability, it’s the same thing.

People have got just different abilities to do different things.

If you haven’t got an ability, it doesn’t mean to say that you’re never going to have that ability.

All abilities are skills and all abilities can be learned.

You get abilities through practising them, by actually doing them.

Another way that you can lose your power is either through action or inaction.

One thing is you’re taking action in the wrong direction, you’re not moving in the direction that you should be moving in.

Obviously, inaction is a big thing.

Inaction is sort of where you’re waiting for something else to happen before you can carry on.

‘’Well, I can’t do this until this happens’’, there’s always something that’s got to happen.

You’re waiting for somebody else to give you permission to do it, and

the only person whose permission you need is yourself.

This is your body, this is your life, this is your health that we’re talking about.

And nobody else is going to directly be affected by this except you.

Another way that you can have action or inaction have a say in what you do is through not planning properly.

It’s basically going through the motions, hoping that by heading out in the general direction that you want to go, that you’re going to get there.

Generally, what happens is that you’re like a Romulus ship that just basically goes with the tide, goes with the roll of the tide.

You need to take control of your own direction.

This whole journey for me is about leaving behind the alcohol and going forward towards your new life.

In order to do that, you’ve got to have a plan of where you’re moving towards.

Now, going forwards and seeing that end goal right at the end of where you want to go, that’s one part of it.

It’s not the whole part.

The whole part is the process, it’s the journey along the way, and you’ve got to map out that journey.

You’ve got to know at least you’re going to take this route now, you’re going to take that step next.

You don’t have to stick to these things, but you’ve got to have that general direction that you’re going to take because if you don’t then you’re going to falter.

So, you have to have your plan, you have to prepare your plan and make sure that you follow it as much as you can.

You’ve really got to take charge of your own journey, you’ve got to be proactive with this.

You’ve got to stop making excuses for yourself first of all.

Then you’ve got to stop waiting for something else to happen or somebody else to tell you that the time is good now to quit drinking.

You’ve got to plan and actively follow that plan; get proactive in your life.

Think positive about everything that you can, try and think of the positive spin that you can put on it and everything.

And you’ll leak a lot less power that way.

You’ll hold on to a lot more power yourself.

So that’s it for now.

If you’ve got any questions or comments, then leave them down below in the posts.

I’d love to hear what you have to say, your own experiences of this.

If you want to come over to the website and sign up for the newsletter, you get a free copy of the ‘hang loose without booze’ video course.

Subscribe to the channel, give us a thumbs up.

Until next time, have a great day, keep safe, keep the alcohol out of your mouth.

If you keep the alcohol out of your mouth, it can’t affect you.

You’ve got the problem solved.

Everything is done.

You don’t have to go back.

Follow your forwards momentum.

Plan your goals and proactively go after those goals.


Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!

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  1. Carol

    Powerful stuff. U are absolutely right and it was exactly what I needed to hear today. I started again after five years and two months off it. I was so miserable on Monday morning that I took action…started a plan….at least one meeting every day…at least an hourlong walk…healthy food…wean myself off day by day. I’ve been doing okay but I’m struggling today. It’s a battle…the addiction is telling me that the meeting is too far away…that I’m tired…I should stay in…that I’ll never be able to achieve sobriety. To combat this..I must think positively and take action in the right direction…all the things you talk about. Thank you for what you do….I don’t know how you do it..in Spain…and without AA!! I have fallen off the wagon three times over there!!


  2. Jim

    I am new to being sober 3 weeks — But I think that the comment about the Will Power getting less & less as day goes by is damaging to the sikie or mind — I don’t want to think that as hard as it is in the morning that it is only going to get worse as the day goes by– for me it should be that as each hour goes by that I build on that and get stronger so by the end of day you could not hold a gun to my head to make me drink. — I am 63 years old been heavy beer drinker all of my adult life and is a positive thinker with Gods help– I rode rodeo bulls for 18 years and been farrier (blacksmith) 38 years — I just signed up for your videos October first but just recently started watching on regular basis
    Your videos have been good for me. And that is only negative thing That I have herd so far – I may be a little hard headed but I am going to build on past pluses and think positive.
    Thank You for videos We could have a hard time talking I have a hard southern US accent
    Thanks, Jimmy Misenheimer

    • Kevin O'Hara

      Hi Jim,
      This is just a general thing. Your willpower is like a muscle, the more you use it, the weaker it gets. However, the more you use it in a specific situation, against a specific adversary if you will, the stronger your overall willpower gets. So, you are right, the longer you go without alcohol, the stronger your long-term willpower becomes.


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