Getting rid of alcohol in your life is about getting rid of a bad habit, but also going forward, finding something that is going to pull you away from the alcohol, pull you into the future and leave alcohol behind you.
Today, I want to talk about quitting drinking alcohol, going for massive goals in your life and daring to fail.
One of the big points about this is that if you don’t follow the goals that you really want to follow in your life, if you don’t go after the big things that you want – those big dreams that keep you awake at night and make you think that life could be worthwhile – if you don’t follow those dreams, you’ve failed already.
Because that’s what life is all about, trying to figure out the best thing to do for yourself, for your own life and the people’s lives around you.
I read a great quote this morning, I can’t pin the name of it, but to paraphrase it, the guy was talking about the best book that you can give your children on building their own lives is you as a person.
What you do in your life, what you strive for or don’t strive for, these are the things that are going to leave an indelible mark on your children.
When you’re talking about personal failure of heading into these goals and trying to achieve them, when you don’t do them, you’re not only harming yourself, you’re harming those people around you.
The thing about dreaming big, about going for your goals is that most people don’t do it because they’re afraid of failure.
They’re afraid of putting themselves out there to do what they want to do because there are so many what-ifs.
There are so many uncertainties.
What if this happens, what if that happens, what if I don’t have this or that, what if I can’t do this part of it? It’s too long and far away.
This goes beyond excuses.
It’s like the flight or fight response, you either see animals running away from you or the big animals will fight and try and kick your arse before you kick theirs.
But part of the flight response is also this part where an animal would just freeze and not do anything.
And that’s where some people are in their lives.
I think that’s a part of drinking.
Once you get into the heavy drinking part, people just freeze and do what they think is the best thing to do.
If they don’t do anything, nobody will notice them.
They can just get through life with as minimum fuss as possible.
What the fuck point is that?
Life is good.
Life is there to enjoy.
Life is there to pursue what you want to pursue, and we have every opportunity here in the west to do that.
Even the poorest people living today live like the kings of a few hundred years ago.
We all have diseases that only kings got back then: gout and heart disease and all those things were only the things that kings and queens got, because they had access to all the richest foods.
But we live better than they ever did.
I’ve seen some poor homes here and that’s probably not true.
But relatively speaking, in general, it’s true.
But if you forget about your fear, if you try and come to terms with that fear and push on regardless of the fear, find your big reason why, get that motivation inside you why you’re doing this.
This is one of the core principles from the beginning, giving you the motivation first and then maintaining that motivation regardless of what happens in your life.
Viktor Frankl said that if you give a person a big enough reason why, they will put up with almost any how.
So if their motivation for doing this thing in the beginning is powerful enough, then no matter what happens, no matter what obstacles come up, you’ll find a way through them.
You’ll find a way around them.
So, having these goals and pushing yourself forward regardless of how you fare will build your self-confidence and unleash your mind.
It will push you forwards into dreaming bigger.
When I started this first, I really didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know where I was going to be or what I was going to be doing.
I didn’t know how to lead a life that was alcohol-free, how to lead a social life, how to be free, how to deal with all the time that I had on my hands, how to deal with the boredom.
This is not something that you learn overnight, this takes time because like I said, it’s not about the alcohol, the alcohol is out of your system within a very short space of time.
What you have to deal with to overcome all these problems – the boredom, the feeling of what to do next- is you have to dismantle the framework, the lifestyle that you’ve built around alcohol.
You can only do that a bit at a time.
But when you start to deal with the alcohol and the framework behind the alcohol, that’s when you see the biggest gain in your life.
That’s when you start opening your mind up to what is truly possible for you.
You know, what’s possible for you is not possible for me because you’re a different person.
You have different motivations, you have different baggage.
Everything about your life is different from mine.
So, what’s going to motivate you and spur you on to do the things that you want to do, that’s completely different from me.
But it’s only by removing that framework, that self-defeating, alcohol-drinking framework that you’re going to uncover the real things that you can do in your life, start to get creative about your life and understand that ‘maybe I can push myself and do this, and maybe I can go further than that’.
It’s a gradual process.
It’s not going to happen overnight.
You have to have patience.
You have to first get yourself away from the alcohol.
I often talk about the keystone habits, the fundamental habits that build everything else around yourself, so if you have a fundamental habit of maintaining your health by going out running very morning, that is going to build up into other areas of your life because it’s a positivity.
It’s a cornerstone of positivity.
It’s the foundation that you’re always trying to build on, so you’re going to start thinking about your health in different ways, how you can improve your health through your nutrition, how you can improve the way that you think and do things differently.
But it all boils down to this cornerstone habit, and it’s exactly the same the other way around.
If you’ve got a cornerstone habit that is drinking alcohol, then it’s going to affect different areas of your life.
As you know yourself, drinking alcohol doesn’t just affect the time that you’re drinking the alcohol, it affects before when you’re thinking about drinking, it affects during when you’re drinking the alcohol, and it affects after when you’re going through the consequences.
I’m not just talking about the hangover, I’m talking about the mental state you’re going to be in because your brain has been steeped in this toxin for however many hours.
And the physical feelings that you’re going through, the mental tiredness and sluggishness are going to last a lot longer than that actual physical tiredness.
So, if you drink every day, you’re never going to be out of that.
It’s only through quitting drinking that you’re going to be able to take away the foundation stone first, and then you’re going to start to break down all the other accumulated and associated behaviours that have built up that big framework around your whole life.
It’s only when you do that that you start to uncover all the good things about your life.
So, just think about your life from that perspective.
From the perspective of the short term goals, what can you aim for in the short term? What are your long term goals?
How can you improve in areas of your life, look at your goals from as many different aspects of your life and focus on that.
You should always focus on the future.
Don’t focus on anything that’s going on behind you.
Goals are going to be the things that pull you forwards away from the alcohol.
They’re going to build your focus towards that area.
What you focus on is what you get.
If you focus on the alcohol, that’s where you’re ultimately going to bring yourself.
But if you focus on the long term goal, you’re going to have a lot more chance of achieving that long term goal.
So, always maintain your focus into the future and away from the past.
Never be afraid of failure.
Failure is a part of every person’s success.
Every person that has ever achieved any success has gone through a certain amount of failure.
If you look at it from that perspective, then failure is the engine of success.
You can’t achieve success without going through a certain amount of failure so don’t be afraid to fail.
If you have any questions or comments, leave them down below.
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Until next time, embrace failure, embrace these things in your life.
Especially when you’re moving forward and you’re failing.
Failing going backwards is a different story, that’s for a different video.
For now, embrace that failure going forward, and stay alcohol free, keep safe.
FALL SEVEN TIMES, STAND UP EIGHT.
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!