Today I just wanted to talk about finding your reason why.
I talk about this a lot because it’s an important part of the whole process of moving yourself and motivating yourself to stop drinking.
You know, when I stopped or before I stopped, I suddenly realised that my Son was – the welfare of my Son, and what my Son thought about me and his life moving forwards – was a lot more important to me than drinking was.
That drinking was giving me a sort of a level of pleasure in life. There’s no doubt about that.
But it was bringing me a lot of pain and a lot of that pain was focused on him, and how my drinking was affecting him.
How my drinking was influencing him.
All that kind of stuff.
For me that’s – it’s one of the major stumbling blocks that people have in trying to quit drinking, is that they can’t find that reason why
They, you have to find this. You have to search for it yourself.
This is the one major thing in your life, that will focus your energies more than anything else.
And everyone’s got something.
Everyone’s got something that they care about and that they can see disappearing because of their drinking and they know that this part of their lives would improve because – you know, if they did stop drinking.
But that’s what you’ve got to.
I mean if you’ve got to sit down for a fucking week.
And think and think and think about this and try and get it focused and cemented in your mind.
Then do that, you know, because, this is generally going to be the best bit of thinking that you’re ever going to do.
I drank throughout my Son’s childhood
Throughout his teenage years.
It was only when he got into his twenties that I stopped.
That doesn’t make me a shining example of being a good parent, it’s just, but I’m not beating myself up about this.
It’s happened, it’s gone.
I mean I was a good parent in other ways.
And I’ve totally changed now.
But I can move forward now and be that moral compass that he needs.
He’s moving into Fatherhood now.
I’m going to become a Grandad, very soon, and it’s just, it’s another role for me.
And I’m stoked, absolutely, that I don’t drink and I’ve got those four years behind me now where I don’t drink.
I’m stoked that I’m trying to improve my life in many different ways.
Some of the things that I am trying to do, I’m not very good at.
But, trying to focus on the things that I’m good at and improve those bit by bit and that’s all you can do.
Focus on your strengths, get rid of the shit in your life and focus your energies on things that you know you’re good at
You can add other things, bit my bit, but you know, get in there and be the best person that you can be, you know, if not for yourself – than for somebody else.
Children are, I think they’re a great reason to do anything, you know, your own children.
For me now, it’s going to be my Grandchild – I’m really looking forward to meeting her.
Yes, it’s like I’m getting a new lease of life out of this.
I think from a certain perspective you’ve got…
I think the only way to teach people is by example and you know, doing, by either them seeing you doing or by them doing themselves, you know.
I think you can read as many books as you want but you’ll learn more in an hour, doing something, than you will in a day reading about something.
I like to think that what I’m doing now is just teaching my Son how to lead a healthy life, you know, the rest of it I think will fall into place
You know, I think healthy is your most important asset.
Health and time.
And the more health you’ve got, the better use you can make of your time.
With your children are your legacy, they’re the things that you leave behind and for me, it’s just the way I look at it now, is, I was brought up in a world where people drank, where people smoked, where people ate crap foods.
I’m not blaming any of those people, that’s just the way it was.
But you have the opportunity to turn that about face and start a new legacy. Start something new with your children.
To point them in a different direction, so that you have the start of a new way of looking at things, a new way of feeding yourself.
New way of going through your life that you don’t need to take alcohol or any other drugs for instance, you know.
It’s just a quick one today, just about that, about my Son and just by the way I changed my sort of attitude towards him and you know, how I looked at him and how I looked at that compared to alcohol, so
“What you leave in your children is more important than what you leave to them”
Until next time…
Keep the Alcohol out of your Mouth
Good Look
Onwards and Upwards!
Nearly same situation. Sober 10 years while the children were small, drank during their adolescence and now sober mostly for myself, but also to set an example for my adult son – a recovered addict, that an alcohol and drug free life is possible and more importantly better. You are an articulate man with tremendous insight in this regard. Keep up the good work. If for no one else, it helps me stay sober. Thanks. Ed
My only regret is it how long it has taken me to work out that life is so much better without poring alcohol down my neck.
Their is no down side to not drinking, its just an addiction.
Alcohol free and proud.