Today I wanted to ask – is it the alcohol that forces me back to drinking? The quick answer is no. It’s the habit, the behaviour, the rituals, it’s all these other things that have built up over years and that we are acting on every single day.
We’ve all got lot and lots of habits that go on beneath the surface every single day of our lifes. The older you get, the stronger some habits get, the more deeply entrenched they get and the more of an influence they have on you.
A lot of people blame the alcohol because it is an easy cop out. You know
- it’s the alcohol that makes me do it
- it’s the alcohol gene that makes me do it
- it’s my past that makes me do it
- it’s my culture that makes me do it
These are all excuses.
At the end of the day none of these things are real, from that perspective. From a habitual perspective. None of these things can have influence on you if you don’t let it.
You have to allow the influence to happen in the first place. You have to look at this from the perspective of habitual behaviours like any other habit, you’ve got habits of getting up every morning, going in and making your first cup of coffee and tea and you do exactly the same thing, you do it on automatic pilot.
You brush your teeth every morning. You sit in the chair the same way. You pick up the spoon for your breakfast cereal and you dip your spoon into your breakfast cereal the same way, you put the food into your mouth the same way, you chew it the same way, you swallow it the same way, your body digests in a particular way because of your habits, these are all habitual behaviours.
The only difference between your habit of getting up in the morning – and doing it exactly the same way – that ritual and a drinking habit – is the intensity. Of course, there’s a drug involved. There’s a drug involved in the coffee making process so the actual drinking coffee and drinking alcohol add a bit of underlying urgency to them or there’s an added bit to the habit, but it’s not that different. It’s still the basic framework that works the whole thing and gets you to drink the alcohol.
How habit works on you depends how you think about it. If you think you can’t quit, if you think that you can’t do without the alcohol then the likelihood is you won’t be able to. These things change and can change rapidly, depending on the circumstances.
If you go the Doctor and he says if you ever drink alcohol again it’s the tipping point that’s going to turn your liver over to cirrhosis. You are on the verge and you have to stop now. You can’t have any more drink. That information alone would set you up to stop. It might still be difficult but it will be a lot easier than for a lot of people because they have no reasons to stop.
So, my point is if you give alcohol superpowers, if you start calling alcohol the devil or demon or if you start giving alcohol powers that it hasn’t got it, then you start saying that it’s a part of your mind that you can’t get access to, a genetic part of your being on a very cellular level. If you start convincing yourself of that then you are putting one huge massive roadblock in your own way. A huge obstacle. And you don’t need that and it’s no point in doing that to yourself.
So, I just wanted to say it from that perspective it’s not the alcohol that forces you to do anything… it’s you that makes you do whatever you do in life. You have the choice, you have the control and it’s up to you to take hold of that control and take a hold of those cravings and feelings that you want to have a drink and reign them in. Ride them through, get out the other end and if you do that, if you control this habit, then the habit doesn’t control you and you win.
That’s it for today. Take Care. Stay safe and keep the alcohol out of your mouth..
“We first make habits then the habits make us”
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!
Hi Kevin, thanks a lot for your presence and advices.
Today is another day to rebuild, to learn to live without alcohol, to get closer to what I really am: a funny person, effective at work, a good friend and a good partner.
After several attempts, It is now 3 weeks without alcohol and I think that finally it is the right one.
Thank you again Kevin, you are an inspiration for me and many others I am sure.