Today I want to talk about the old saying ‘actions speak louder than words’.
It’s often sort of contradictory, a discrepancy, sort of.
What we say and what we do, the words that come out of our mouths and the actions that come out of our behaviours.
It’s easy to see why that’s the case.
Words are easy.
Words must come out.
You can think up loads of words and just keep saying them over and over again, all day long, while actions are sort of different.
You’ve only a certain amount of time.
Actions take a lot more deliberation, purposefulness and determination.
You can only fit so many actions into one period of time and you’re sort of out of time for that 24 hours or whatever it is.
So, you have to be careful about which actions you take.
I think it was Emerson that said that your actions speak so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.
That’s just paraphrasing but he basically said no matter what’s coming out of your mouth, it’s your actions that are telling me what you’re doing.
I’m not talking about this from somebody else’s perspective, I’m talking about this from your perspective.
From your brain, your self-confidence, from giving yourself that momentum to carry on.
You’ve got to follow through with your actions because if you don’t, they are all just empty words.
Regardless of anything else, your actions are going to speak to you more than anything else, they’re going to tell you what you’re capable of more than anything else.
You can repeat affirmations over and over in your head.
You can tell yourself that you’re this person or that person, but in actual fact if you don’t follow through with your actions then you’re not that kind of person no matter how much you say it.
That’s got to have an overall damaging effect on your life.
Who you are, what you do, your behaviours in the present and in the future sort of all hinge on the actions that you take and on the bullshit that you spew to yourself.
It’s very easy to spit out words but the actions take a lot more effort.
There are only so many hours in a day so you’ve got to choose your actions very wisely.
So, no matter how much you say it, it’s only your actions that are ging to make a difference.
No matter how much you say you’re quitting drinking alcohol, I’m going to do it is not doing it.
That’s just more bullshit, more empty words.
Empty words are just that easy to spit out.
The only time that you can actually do something is right now, at this moment.
The only time you can say something is in this moment as well, but…
I’m not saying just start out without thinking about it.
I don’t think that’s a smart move, I think you have to think out things.
But, don’t be waiting till perfection because perfection will never happen.
It all boils down to not putting the alcohol in your mouth, that’s what it all boils down to.
As long as you do that, the rest of that is just icing on the cake, it doesn’t matter.
You quit drinking first and foremost by not putting the stuff into your body.
Once you don’t put the stuff into your body, you’ve quit.
The rest of it is trying to make things easier.
The more you think about this, the more you can plan what you’re going to do in certain situations.
All that’s going to make everything easier but it all boils down to not putting the stuff into your mouth.
It makes a huge difference when you come out and you’re facing forwards, you’re looking at what goals you’re going to achieve in your life instead of what you’re not going to do, that’s makes a huge difference.
Because then you have to do a lot more thinking about things, you’ve got to understand things with a bit more depth, because you want to know where you want to be in 5 years’ time.
You’ve got to know how you’re going to get there, you’ve got to know the steps, the procedure that you’re going to take to get there.
Quitting drinking doesn’t take any action.
That’s the problem with quitting drinking, that’s where most people come to a roadblock.
That’s because the mind ultimately thinks ‘what do we do now? What’s the next step in this process? In this progress?’ your mind is always looking for the next thing to do.
When your goal is to stop doing something, as soon as you stop doing it you’ve reached your target.
You’ve gone over not just the starting line but the finishing line as well.
That’s why I always try and exercise the journey aspect.
You’re aiming towards a specific, tangible goal in your future.
A goal that, if you drink alcohol, it’s a pause to.
Alcohol and reaching this goal are not mutually exclusive.
One part of this is replacing the alcohol.
You replace the time that you spent drinking alcohol.
Maybe you don’t replace all the money but the time especially.
Those chunks in the day when you would normally be drinking, you’ve got to find something else to do.
I’m talking about that part of it but I’m also talking about the long-term aspect of this.
What’s going to drag you away from the alcohol, what’s going to pull you away from that life-style?
That’s what it all boils down to.
It’s the life-style that’s pulling you back, not just the alcohol.
It’s everything else that surrounds the alcohol.
It’s that life of going out and drinking with certain people, going to certain places, as well as all the peripheral stuff, all the bad food that you might be eating, the lack of sleep, the lack of exercise, the lack of good nutrition.
This is all stuff that’s happening alongside and parallel to your drinking so it’s all a part of this whole bi life, not that you’ve chosen for yourself, but that is there.
It’s a part of this evolution of you as a drinker.
It’s these things that you have to get away from and it’s your long-term goal that’s going to pull you away from that.
It’s going to give you that feeling to always go forward and never look back.
That’s the thing that’s going to pull you away from the alcohol into the long-term.
Like I said in the beginning, there’s a lot too be said for taking action and not doing too much thinking, but there’s also a lot of room for taking the time to think as well, to prepare yourself for what is going to happen.
Only you know yourself, and only you know the situation that you’re in, the different aspects of your day that lead to, cause or follow alcohol drinking.
You have to think about that.
If you head out and just say ‘fuck this, I’m taking action’, you wake up one morning with a hangover and say ‘that’s it for me. I’m finished with this. I’ve got a horrible feeling inside me I feel crappy, I said something last night which I shouldn’t have said, and now I’m really sorry for it. The way I feel now, I could never drink again. I never want to drink again’, it’s not the right framework to take ahead.
It will keep you motivated for a couple of days, but when the hangover wears off, it’s like you’re back to square 1 again because you haven’t done that preparation work, you haven’t sorted out in your head exactly what you’re going to do.
You haven’t sorted out your motivation, your goals, your long-term strategies, exactly what’s going to keep you from going back to the alcohol.
You’ll just keep going in this vicious cycle.
You know you don’t want to drink, but when it comes down to it you want to drink.
At the end of the day, the wine, the beer is just there to say to you ‘this is relaxing, this is what we do. Just one more day, next week I’ll do it.’
That’s what the thinking does, and then you start thinking to yourself ‘I’m so weak. I can’t do this. Every time I try and do it, I fail’.
It’s exactly what I did for years with smoking cigarettes.
I just tried and tried and tried again.
I used to do that smoke a load of cigarettes in a few hours and make myself ill, and that was motivation to help me to stop in the moment, but it wasn’t a long term motivation.
It didn’t help me in the long term because as soon as that feeling of sickness wore off and I started getting the cravings for the nicotine, the cravings won at the end because I didn’t have that background work done.
There’s a big difference between taking action and not thinking, and doing some thinking beforehand, doing preparation work and then taking action.
This is the thing that’s going to help you the most.
So, if you have any questions or comments, leave a comment down below, go on to the website and you’ll find the audio below the video.
If you want to get a free access to a video course I did last year ‘hang loose without booze’, sign up for the newsletter and I’ll send the link to you.
Stay safe, keep the alcohol out of your mouth. Take action.
ACTIONS PROVE WHO SOMEONE IS, WORDS JUST PROVE WHO THEY WANT TO BE.
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!
Thanks very much for the vid. Could you point me toward any of your other videos or resources where you discuss the specifics of sorting out “your motivation, your goals, your long-term strategies, exactly what’s going to keep you from going back to the alcohol”?
Great video! I have the same question as the person before me. I need help with preparing and removing the alcohol triggers in my life.
thank you I want to get to where you are now early days yet
I so look forward to the videos and comments, kind regards Julie 6/4/2017
You Will get there 🙂
Thanks for this Kevin…..rally helpful video
No worries Janis
Thanks for this Kevin…..this was a very helpful video…so clear and concise…replace the time spent drinking with another activity…so much time is “LOST” from drinking away your blues