Focus On Now and Your Future - It Doesn't Matter What Came Before - Put Alcohol Behind You

Focus On Now and Your Future – It Doesn’t Matter What Came Before

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Focus On Now and Your Future – It Doesn’t Matter What Came Before – Put Alcohol Behind You Transcript.

WHAT MATTERS IS NOW.

It doesn’t really matter what you’ve done before, the only thing that matters is what you’re doing now, what you’re doing in this moment.

I’ve worked a lot of jobs in my life.

The first job that I ever had was collecting trolleys in front of the supermarket for a pack of crisps and a 6-pack lemonade.

I was 13 or 14, or something like that.

The first summer job I had was fixing those old push lawn mowers, do you remember those old push lawn mowers? No engine, just pure human power.

And they were really simple mechanical devices, so I found it very easy to fix them at 16.

That was a summer job that I had.

I’ve worked in bars, I’ve worked in restaurants, I’ve done truck driving all over Ireland and England.

I’ve picked winkles off the beach…a few different beaches up and down the coast of Western Ireland.

I progressed into micro fishing, first off the cliffs, and then we went out into boats doing it.

A friend of mine and I had a boat, so we started fishing for lobsters.

That was a great job, I mean, 2 or 3 hours a day and we were finished, and we made a living out of it.

Then I spent a long time in forestry, just doing a lot of different types of jobs, mostly with a chain saw.

But you see none of that now in what I do.

It’s all there, it’s all inside me, it’s all part of who I am, but it’s not really heavily influencing who I am now at this moment, what I’m doing at this moment.

It’s the same with alcohol.

I drank for over thirty years of my life and regardless of what I say about drinking, I wish I’d never started drinking.

From the moment I started putting that shit into my body, things started changing.

You use alcohol as a tool to do things that you would otherwise have to find an alternative to, and usually a better alternative.

WHY DO YOU DRINK?

When I first started drinking, it was all about becoming a man because I saw the adults doing the same.

Because I saw adults smoking, I wanted to smoke; because I saw adults drinking, I wanted to drink.

And it’s no reflection of the adults around me, they were just doing what they were doing, it was part of their culture.

I grew up in a heavy-drinking culture, a heavy-smoking culture.

The estate that I lived on, most people drank or smoked, or did both.

The country was the same.

It’s the same in the western world now. And I think smoking has started to die out in some areas, in some cultures, but drinking doesn’t seem to be; it seems to be taking on a life of its own.

But anyway, getting back to what I was saying, the next thing that I drank for was shyness.

I thought I could overcome my shyness by knocking back a few beers and stuff, and I think it worked in the moment, but you’re supposed to deal with these things in real life.

You’re supposed to learn these things as you go along.

 

One learning experience builds on the next and you gain confidence

 

you gain momentum and you learn how to be confident in situations; you learn how to talk to girls or boys or whatever it is that you’re into.

It’s just a fact of life, this is the way things work, but you shouldn’t cut that whole process by drinking because you’ll never learn those important lessons.

You might learn them but you learn them in a more constricted way, you know?

Because you’re using this tool as sort of a magic bullet, so to speak, you’re not learning the lessons that you should be learning; you’re not building those connections, you’re not building that confidence.

You might build it but how many times have you heard people say ‘’I can’t go out without a drink’’?

I don’t want any of those things ruining my life anymore, I want to try and learn those lessons myself, I want to rely on myself, on my brain.

We’ve got all the equipment that we’ll ever need for confidence, self-assurance, motivation, in the brain.

We don’t need crutches.

The only people who need crutches are those who are injured. Is that what you’re saying to yourself?

That you’re handicapped from the beginning?

Doing this is handicapping your life from the beginning.

Alcohol is handicapping your life from the beginning.

So, all those things that I’ve used alcohol for, and I can go back and say ‘where would I be now if I never drank alcohol’?

And that’s just it, it could be anywhere!

I could be dead for all I know.

You don’t know where you’re going to be.

Be careful what you wish for.

You have to accept the place that you are now.

This is the only time that you can do anything and you’ve got everything you need right at this moment.

You’ve got the air to breathe.

I’m out here having this beautiful sunshine, walking beside a lake, the wind in my face, sun over my head.

My lungs are working, they’re pumping in and out.

I woke up this morning with a little bit of a hangover because I was at a birthday party yesterday and I was eating the sort of food that I don’t usually like to eat, but I let the food get the better of me.

But that’s a different story.

Everything’s working well most mornings and I feel alive.

I’m still tired but I’m out here now. Getting some sunlight into my body and I’m set for the day.

You’ve got the choice every day to do the things that you do in the moment.

You’ve got the choice of whether to go forward or go the other way.

The choice is always yours.

I will walk 3 kilometres and then turn back and walk 3 kilometres back.

It’s the same with the booze.

You can choose to go ‘right! That’s it! Regardless of what I’ve done in the past or the drinking I’ve done in the past, from now on, the person I am now is not going to drink anymore. That’s me moving forward’

Just drop it.

You don’t have to do it.

Regardless of what you think is stopping you from quitting drinking, at the end of the day, it’s all excuses, it’s all choices, it’s all postponing the inevitable.

Because you’re inevitably going to have to quit anyway.

Whether it’s you doing it now on your own, of your own volition, or some other person telling you you have to do it, you know?

Because if you don’t do it, something unfortunate is going to happen in your life.

It’s all just a bit of discomfort at the end of the day; that’s all it ever is, discomfort.

Put up with the discomfort.

Focus your mind forwards and away from the alcohol.

Don’t think about the alcohol, think about your new journey.

That’s basically all there is to it.

I guarantee you, your life will be better.

Anyway, that’s all I have to say today.

If you’ve got any questions, drop us a comment below; we’d love to hear all your questions. If you’ve got questions about the video, the website, me, whatever, just ask. You can sign up for the newsletter, there are a couple of books there that you can get for free. They’re just sort of a tongue-in-cheek way of getting you to relax and put a different spin on life without alcohol. The newsletters go out about a couple of times per week, just to let you know the stuff that’s going on.

FOCUS ON WHERE YOU WANT TO GO, NOT ON WHAT YOU FEAR.


Until next time...
Onwards and Upwards!

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About The Author

Kevin O'Hara

If you want help quitting drinking alcohol, I recommend you join our Mastermind Coaching Program. Here you will find all the help you need with daily exclusive informative videos, Q&A's, and monthly Roundtables on relevant topics. The Mastermind Coaching Group has many supportive members at various stages of their journey. Here you'll find non-judgemental motivation, support, and accountability. Click here for more information.

14 Comments

  • Louise

    Reply Reply July 5, 2016

    Thank you for this video Kevin I’m really finding your message of ” forget the alcohol ” a big help this week. I’ve tried and failed in the past to leave alcohol behind, but thinking about it now I’ve definitely spent the days I wasn’t drinking thinking and re thinking about Alcohol. I can see a clear truth in what you are saying , and why this constant focus on the stuff you don’t want can lead you in a loop back toward its.
    I’ve restarted my journey this week and I’ve been spending my time focussing on the life I do want surprising while I’m doing this I’ve hardly thought of alcohol at all !
    So good to hear some plain truth on alcohol from a fellow Irish person. My attempts to quit are usually meant with ” why the hell would you do that ???”

    Many thanks again
    Louise

    • Kevin O'Hara

      Reply Reply July 7, 2016

      You’re welcome… keep it up and let us know how you’re progressing…:)

  • Marsha

    Reply Reply July 5, 2016

    Great video, Kevin

  • John

    Reply Reply October 1, 2016

    Great video Kevin, good reminder that all we have is NOW…

  • Colin

    Reply Reply November 5, 2016

    Really enjoying your videos Kevin. One of my biggest fears is am I always going to have an occasional craving or will they eventually stop. What are your thoughts?

  • John

    Reply Reply December 13, 2016

    Thanks for the daily videos they are really helping me. I’ve drank for 25 years and only stopped once for two weeks. I think it’s just a deeply ingrained habit. I don’t think about it at all during the day but at 5pm until bed time it’s on my mind. I think you’ve pointed out to me that I need a life coach as much as anything. One who understands the influence of alcohol. I found your website when I googled “Getting through the first week of not drinking” or something similar. Very glad your site came up. I’m still in my first week of not drinking and it’s not easy at night but gettin better and I am starting to feel better than I can remember. Of course I usually feel like shit so it may be relative lol. Thanks for your efforts you are helping people very much.

  • Ben Anderson

    Reply Reply February 2, 2017

    “Regardless of what you think is stopping you from quitting drinking, at the end of the day, it’s all excuses, it’s all choices, it’s all postponing the inevitable.

    Because you’re inevitably going to have to quit anyway.

    Whether it’s you doing it now on your own, of your own volition, or some other person telling you you have to do it, you know?

    Because if you don’t do it, something unfortunate is going to happen in your life.

    It’s all just a bit of discomfort at the end of the day; that’s all it ever is, discomfort.

    Put up with the discomfort.

    Focus your mind forwards and away from the alcohol.

    Don’t think about the alcohol, think about your new journey.”

    You have done it again, kev. The thought of delaying the inevitable. Choosing to quit out of your own choice because you know it’s right, and not either hitting rock bottom and given an ultimatum to quit, or, heaven forbid, quitting because of death from your drinking. You will quit. One way or another. Take hold of your life. Good stuff man.

  • pete

    Reply Reply April 4, 2017

    hi kevin, just woke up this morning just over 2 weeks without that alcohol shit, now going for a nice walk, putting up with the discomfort and going forward, love the videos, thanks kev.

  • Budy

    Reply Reply April 15, 2017

    Hi just to say thank you for producing all this material to help keep me on right track.

  • Shaun

    Reply Reply November 6, 2017

    Shaun ..
    Just like to say thank you the videos and messages are a really big help. Always thought I was strong to do it myself the words you are saying is just so true I have been drinking 30 years heavily and lost a lot of things and friends and family but I would never listen but I am listening to you now Kevin and you are a big help thank you onwards and upwards……

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