(0.19) Why drink alone
(1.28) Easier and cheaper for me
Do You Drink Alone is the sixteenth question of 20 in the Johns Hopkins series of videos to see if you are an alcoholic…
“They’re sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it’s better than drinking alone…” Billy Joel – The Piano Man
How often I’ve listened to and sang along with Billy Joel when drinking on my own.
Sometimes I’d crave the company of fellow drinkers, I’d seek them out… those inferior companions… going from pub to pub searching for company or solace.
There are always fellows who will go to a bar seeking to be in company but who really want to be left alone.
Much of the time I would prefer to drink alone, in solitude.
It’s much easier that way.
You don’t have to get dressed. You don’t have to care about what anyone else thinks of you. You can get as pissed as you want. Your bed is in the next room, or at times in the same room… easy to fall into. You can listen to the music you want, talk about the things you want to talk about without any disagreement… most of the time!
Other times I’d drink because I was alone, feeling lonely… in need of emotional company.
When I was gearing up for a session on my own, I’d always make sure I had enough booze to last… there’s nothing like running out mid-flight… two bottles of wine… is that enough… ah sure get another one to be on the safe side… and a couple of cans of beer… or maybe a six pack.
I’d nearly always drink it all and want more… pure greed!
Drinking alone always followed the same template.
I’d start out being pretty happy, my booze ready, a good movie ready, my night of ‘relaxation’ planned out. Go!
The first couple of drinks go down like water after a desert crossing… fast!
Slow down, take your time, do you feel the buzz!
As I drink, I get sad.
The more I drink the sadder I get.
I’m sad about everything, life, death, my drinking, my dwindling supply of drink…
I put the first sad song on.
It’s the same every time.
Drink, drink, get drunk, fall asleep, the same…
No More Sad Songs
Since I’ve quit, I don’t get the urge to listen to sad songs. I only want happiness in my life. I’m trying to bend my brain around the idea of getting out and meeting people… for the sake of company. It’s hard for me. I’m not sure I know how. But I’m going to learn.
I’ve also come to realise that there’s nothing wrong with being alone. Loneliness and solitude are not the same. You’ll be immensely rewarded by looking inwards, perhaps more than looking outwards!
This was the sixteenth post in the series of articles on the Johns Hopkins 20 questions which was designed for you to self-test and discover if you might have an alcohol problem. If you answer yes to this question and yes to some of the others in the test, you need to take a look at your drinking habits. Here’s our first post on the 20 Johns Hopkins are you an alcoholic questions!
Leave a message below if I can offer any help at all in your fight with alcohol.
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards…