Do You Drink Alone?


(0.19) Why drink alone
(1.28) Easier and cheaper for me

Do You Drink Alone is the sixteenth question of 20 in the Johns Hopkins series of videos to see if you are an alcoholic…

drinking-alone

“They’re sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it’s better than drinking alone…” Billy Joel – The Piano Man

How often I’ve listened to and sang along with Billy Joel when drinking on my own.

Sometimes I’d crave the company of fellow drinkers, I’d seek them out… those inferior companions… going from pub to pub searching for company or solace.

There are always fellows who will go to a bar seeking to be in company but who really want to be left alone.

Much of the time I would prefer to drink alone, in solitude.

It’s much easier that way.

You don’t have to get dressed. You don’t have to care about what anyone else thinks of you. You can get as pissed as you want. Your bed is in the next room, or at times in the same room… easy to fall into. You can listen to the music you want, talk about the things you want to talk about without any disagreement… most of the time!

Other times I’d drink because I was alone, feeling lonely… in need of emotional company.

Gearing Up

When I was gearing up for a session on my own, I’d always make sure I had enough booze to last… there’s nothing like running out mid-flight… two bottles of wine… is that enough… ah sure get another one to be on the safe side… and a couple of cans of beer… or maybe a six pack.

I’d nearly always drink it all and want more… pure greed!

The Pattern

Drinking alone always followed the same template.

I’d start out being pretty happy, my booze ready, a good movie ready, my night of ‘relaxation’ planned out. Go!

The first couple of drinks go down like water after a desert crossing… fast!

Slow down, take your time, do you feel the buzz!

As I drink, I get sad.

The more I drink the sadder I get.

I’m sad about everything, life, death, my drinking, my dwindling supply of drink…

I put the first sad song on.

It’s the same every time.

Drink, drink, get drunk, fall asleep, the same…

No More Sad Songs

Since I’ve quit, I don’t get the urge to listen to sad songs. I only want happiness in my life. I’m trying to bend my brain around the idea of getting out and meeting people… for the sake of company. It’s hard for me. I’m not sure I know how. But I’m going to learn.

I’ve also come to realise that there’s nothing wrong with being alone. Loneliness and solitude are not the same. You’ll be immensely rewarded by looking inwards, perhaps more than looking outwards!

On-being-alone

This was the sixteenth post in the series of articles on the Johns Hopkins 20 questions which was designed for you to self-test and discover if you might have an alcohol problem. If you answer yes to this question and yes to some of the others in the test, you need to take a look at your drinking habits. Here’s our first post on the 20 Johns Hopkins are you an alcoholic questions!

 

Leave a message below if I can offer any help at all in your fight with alcohol.

Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards…
Kev

Download the Transcript of Do You Drink Alone

Do You Drink Alone Transcript

Watch Other Videos in the Series:

Has Your Efficiency Decreased Since Drinking?
Is Drinking Jeopardizing Your Job or Business?
Do You Drink To Escape Troubles or Worries?

About The Author

Kevin O'Hara

If you want help quitting drinking alcohol, I recommend you join our Mastermind Coaching Program. Here you will find all the help you need with daily exclusive informative videos, Q&A's, and monthly Roundtables on relevant topics. The Mastermind Coaching Group has many supportive members at various stages of their journey. Here you'll find non-judgemental motivation, support, and accountability. Click here for more information.

15 Comments

  • jon

    Reply Reply September 12, 2013

    Hi Kevin,
    Just found your site, sitting here drinking alone, feeling about as bad as a man can feel.
    Started drinking at 16 am now 62, a life of sorrow and regret.
    Tried to stop many times, always come back to it, its like i am committing suicide in slow motion.
    So glad for you, bless anyone who can escape this trap.

  • ates kut

    Reply Reply September 19, 2013

    Hi Kevin,

    I usually drink alone i feel more comfortable by my own while drinking, you know why? because there is nobody there telling me to stop, saying ‘too much already’!

    So anyway, I’am 38 years of age and I’ve been drinking heavily last 18-20 years almost everyday.

    Came across one of your videos on youtube, while looking for a sad song to listen to! After watching couple of your videos on your site. Started thinking I could do the same, so it’s been a week now not a single drop of alcohol! I already feel much better although cravings are still there and even in my dreams I am drinking!!

    So Kevin thank you very much, your experience inspired me i guess..

    I know it’s very hard and hope I will succeed.

    Ates

    • Kevin O'Hara

      Reply Reply September 23, 2013

      Hi Ates, Thaks for sharing your story. I still dream of drinking. Now, when it happens, I wake up in a bit of a panic and then relief when I realize it wasn’t true. Phew! The cravings won’t last long. You’re doing the right thing. Good luck to you!
      Kev
      Onwards and Upwards!

      • Margaret

        Reply Reply November 27, 2013

        Wow! I thought I was the only person dreaming of drinking. Sometimes I would dream of finding extra drinks all over the house and just sitting and drinking. Then upon awaking I would be upset because there really was no alcohol around. I am on a path toward stopping the drink. Sometimes I succeed day by day and I make it, at other times I totally fail. The urges and cravings seem to win me over. I do not keep money or alcohol in the house to help me win over the cravings. Sometimes after working with the plants or cooking I feel the need for a reward. Look around and the reward is not there. Oh my a trip to the ATM and L store seems in order. I have lost. Thus far I have gone four days and the craving are crazy. Pay day is Nov. 29, I have already relasped and I have two days to go. I am going to attempt to avoid this by making a written plan of things to do. I hope this works. Thank you for your web sit.

        • Kevin O'Hara

          Reply Reply December 1, 2013

          Hey Margaret, I’m glad you’re finding some inspiration in the videos, I wish I was able to offer more. I was really disappointed in myself when I dreamt of drinking. i’ve had it a couple of times since, nowhere near as powerful as the first time. It’s only part of the process. You need to find yourself something else as a reward. When you think about it logically, poisoning yourself is not a real reward! Best of luck, Barbara
          Kev

  • barbara

    Reply Reply February 19, 2014

    Hi Kevin,
    I am 51 years old now and I have been in and out of drinking since I was 17. When I realized I could not stop drinking once I began, I started to drink on my own instead of doing something productive. I still fight with alcohol in the evenings when I come home after work or at weekends when there is little to do. I am very sad about it and do not like me for that at all. Thank you for your videos and your site, I trust I will get sober for good now. Barbara

    • Kevin O'Hara

      Reply Reply February 20, 2014

      It’s the same for everyone Barbara. Alcohol is a drug, and a highly addictive one at that. We are just so used to seeing it around us, we don’t view it in the same way as heroin or cocaine. But it’s as dangerous as any of those drugs. I wish you the best of luck, keep watching the vids, I won’t be stopping doing them any time soon.
      Kev

  • al

    Reply Reply April 8, 2014

    Alcohol has come and gone and come again in my life. A tragedy 5 years ago left me alone. She was a heavy drinker and thats probably why I started again when she was alive. In the past 5 years I’ve drank twice a week two bottles of wine sometimes one. It takes me backwards to where I was happy with her. I have lived alone for the past 5 years. I always drink after 5pm and it never enters my mind otherwise. I stopped for 6 months once, a few weeks other times. I know the dangers of it, have read all about it and still have a difficult time stopping. I sincerely want to stop. I’ve tried every trick there is and they’ve all failed. I’ll keep trying and I will succeed one day. Thanks for your site. Any suggestions are welcomed and appreciated.

    • Kevin O'Hara

      Reply Reply April 14, 2014

      Hey Al, I can relate to your loss. It’s almost 9 years since my wife died and although I have found someone who is very special to me, I still miss her a lot in my life. I drank more heavily after she passed than ever before and continued that way for a long time. Looking back now, I just didn’t care. I was lucky to find someone else when I was in the middle of that, someone who saw something in me outside of the madness, something worth saving perhaps. I hope you can find some help in the videos and posts on this site. I just wanted to let you know that you are not on your own, there are plenty of people in this place who have gone through the same or similar. Onwards and upwards!
      All the best Al
      Kev

  • Chris

    Reply Reply July 9, 2014

    Kev,
    New to the website. Been drinkin everyday (alone most the time) for about 4 years. I’m 28 years old. I work second shift in a stressful environment. Most of the guys enjoy a COUPLE beers after work. That’s normal! When I get home, wife and son (6 months now…He’s the best!) are sound asleep. A quiet house with no one to talk about my day with. Cant quit this habit of putting down a six pack and a couple swigs of whisky every night! My days off are worse…beers, nips, sneaking beers, hiding a bottle… I HATE IT! I pay all the bills, we have a lovely house, I have a good job. I try to be the best father and husband I can be. I need to cut WAY down. Its is a part of my culture and family, buy they can really go with or without the drink. I CANT! I do admire you for you’re will to stay dry. Any tips on where to start?

  • Jenny

    Reply Reply December 24, 2015

    Hi Kevin,

    I want to thank you for all of the work you’ve done on you and on this site. Your approach really clicked with me and I’m happy to say that I am quitting without ever looking back. My mother is in AA and swears by their approach. It really works for her and for millions of other people – I get that. It’s just not for me. The way you express things just resonates with me so much. I don’t feel judged and I don’t feel helpless. I just feel inspired and hopeful.

    My problem really snuck up on me and anyone who knows me would be shocked to hear that I even think I have an issue. I’m 43 and over the past few years, I’ve gone from enjoying an occasional margarita with friends to drinking 3 glasses of wine just about every night – alone. I found myself in a depressing cycle where I was unhappy during my waking hours and really only “happy” during that first glass of wine. Now, I’m glad to say that the cycle has been reversed. I’m happy during my waking hours and only slightly uncomfortable when I would normally start drinking. I’ve found that I can distract myself enough to get through it and move on.

    I know that it’s early and I have much to learn. I won’t be perfect and days like today (a huge family gathering where the wine will be flowing and I’ll feel socially awkward) will be difficult, but thanks to you, I don’t feel so alone.

    Keep up the good work.
    Jenny

  • Christopher

    Reply Reply May 9, 2017

    I drink alone because I refuse to go out and risk getting a DUI. With that said, I still drink too much and am quitting. At first I was just going to do the 30 day Challenge, but as I watched more of Kevin’s videos, I’ve decided to give up alcohol altogether.I was in total denial about the damage alcohol was causing me. I’m tired of living like this

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