Does it get easier? Does the boredom disappear? Do the cravings all of a sudden disappear? Does thinking about alcohol go away?
Today I want to talk about a question that I got through email: does it get easier? Do all those things about quitting drinking, the discomfort, does that disappear? Does the boredom disappear? Do the long days disappear?
The answer is yes, if you want it to.
We’re built for change to happen all the time.
The seasons change throughout the year.
You get older and your body changes, your mind changes.
Change is going to happen whether you like it or not, so you might as well push forwards and push into your discomfort zone.
Start changing now rather than waiting for later because later is going to be a lot more difficult.
All of this stuff is outside of your discomfort zone.
Whether it’s feeling bored, that is a feeling of discomfort.
Whether it’s thinking about the long days.
It all happens up in your head.
Boredom happens in your mind.
Long days happen in your mind.
If you sit down on a chair and sit there from the time you get up to the time you go back to bed, it’s going to be a long fucking day.
No doubt about that.
At the same time, if there’s a guy and he’s been practising as a Zen Buddhist for 20 years, then sitting in the chair with is hands crossed and doing nothing from the time he gets up in the morning to the time he goes back to bed, it’s not going to be boring.
It’s called meditation, that’s what he does.
So, 2 different perspectives doing the same thing.
What I’m saying here is that if you spend or life after you quit drinking thinking about drinking and how good your old life was, thinking about how good it would be to have a pint or a glass of wine, ten it’s going to be a boring life.
That’s not my recommendation.
My recommendation is to stop drinking, don’t focus on the alcohol anymore, focus on the future.
Focus on what you’re going to do tomorrow, now, in ten years’ time.
Aim at something that is fantastic, that you’ve always wanted to do, focus on your dreams.
I’m not talking about wishy washy dreams that you would’ve loved to have done if only you had started when you were 4 years.
There’s a young lad, 18, Max Verstappen from Holland, and the whole Dutch nation is getting behind this guy.
In all fairness, they haven’t got much of a football team to get behind as a nation.
I’m glad that they’ve got this because this guy is a superhero.
He’s not only good on the race track, he can talk the talk and walk the walk.
He’s very comfortable in himself.
When he first came on the scene, he was the youngest driver in F1 to win a Grand Prix.
He won the Spanish Grand Prix in Barcelona this year.
And when I first saw this guy, I thought he was a recipe for disaster.
I thought he was going to come on the scene and crash.
That was my first reaction.
But he’s just a super driver.
His parents were race drivers too.
Jos Verstappen is his father, and sorry I don’t know his mother’s name.
He’s been racing from the age of 4 in carts, and he’s from the PlayStation era.
He’s always had his eye on the Grand Prix and he just knows how to drive a car.
But, as I say, he’s practised from the age of 4.
No matter how much I wanted to do that, I’m never going to be able to do that. People retire from Grand Prix racing same as they retire from soccer once they get into their 30s because they’re just not as quick or agile anymore. The body deteriorates as it gets older and they just can’t do as much.
These guys have got a limited time span, so no matter how much I wanted to do that, I couldn’t.
There’s no point in having a dream and saying ‘this is what I want to be, the greatest Formula 1 driver’, it’s just never going to happen.
So, you have to be realistic in your expectations about your dreams.
As long as you understand that you’re being a realist, then you can achieve anything that you want to be in life.
Why not go for the things that are going to deliver you the best feelings in your life?
The best feelings of personal achievement.
Self-confidence is something that is built over time as you head in the right direction.
So you might as well dream big.
But as I say, you can sit on your arse and do nothing, and go to the same pub and still try and be friends with the same people.
It’s not going to work.
You’re going to be back on the booze in no time because you’re still trying to live the same life.
That’s what I keep trying to say, it’s not about the alcohol, it’s about the lifestyle and the framework that you build up around the alcohol.
As long as you keep trying to hold on to that old framework, that old idea and way of life, then you’re screwed.
You’ve got to move away from it, you’ve got to leave some things behind in your past.
Leave some of them behind as nasty parts of your life that you don’t want anymore, that are not going to give you any benefit anymore.
You also have to do the same with some of the people in your life.
It’s an unfortunate thing but some of the people you’re going to leave behind.
These people are going to be hindrance to your progress.
You know which ones are which.
If you don’t know at the moment, then you’ll soon find out.
These are the people that are continuously trying to pull you back into your old lifestyle.
You can’t allow that to happen.
Like I say, progress should always be forwards.
There has to be something that’s pulling you forwards.
If you don’t have that reason for moving away from alcohol, if all you’ve got is the old lifestyle and what it used to be like, then where are you?
You’re always going to be pulled back.
It’s like you’ve got an elastic band attached to the back of your rousers.
The more you try and pull yourself forwards, the more stress and strain is pulling you back to your old life.
It’s just not going to work.
You have to have to have forward momentum, something to aim towards, a goal in your life, a reason for moving forward.
As they say,
a man with a big enough reason why will shoulder any how.
A man who has got a big enough reason to move forwards will put up with anything to get there.
You’ve got to push yourself into a position where the two things are mutually exclusive.
They don’t go together.
You can’t have this new life and still drink.
That’s enough for this one.
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BELIEVE YOU CAN AND YOU’RE HALFWAY THERE ALREADY.
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!
Everything does start in your brain.
Boredom, can be ok, time to relax
I don’ t like too much though so try to keep busy, learn something diff. There are quite a few free seminars & classes where I am, so fairly lucky.Pick something that you’d like to learn & give it a try!
Ive not really got any ambitions to do anything apart from kicking the Booze of course .i play guitar .paint and stuff like that i suppose there could be something else i could have a go at but i just cant think of anything
Relax Ron, that will be reveled in time. Sounds like you have some good interests already. Just be glad your no longer a slave to the drink. Now your free to be who you truly are and aspire to be. It really is a beautiful gift to give ourselves.
When you start to feel that this is not only about booze if not about of what you deserve in life, things like self love, good health, abundance, authenticity, staying in emotional peace, rewarding relationships, development of your skills, …to sum up, when you really work in your deserving beliefs, alcohol don’t have importance anymore, keep thriving, make things that you like, and don’t forget that you DESERVE them and that YOU ARE WORTHY unconditionally.
Just wanted to say thank you. I’m on day 12, and yesterday was a bit tough. Thank you for having the exact inspiration I needed. My motto for today – “A man who has got a big enough reason to move forwards will put up with anything to get there.”