If you do the hard work in quitting drinking, then life itself becomes easier.
I say this all the time, that no matter where you’re coming from:
What angle you’re approaching this.
What perspective you’re coming at this from.
How much alcohol you’re actually drinking.
How long you’ve drank for.
Once you’ve made the decision to stop drinking alcohol.
Once you’ve actually gone through the whole process in your mind and you’ve thought it through and you’ve come to the conclusion – “this is what I want to do.”
There is no other technique to this than – not putting the stuff into your mouth.
If you don’t put the stuff into your mouth, if you don’t put any more alcohol into your mouth – no matter what happens, regardless of the situation; regardless of who is there; regardless of what they’re saying to you – if you do not put the alcohol into your mouth, then you have succeeded and there is no other technique.
This is what it boils down to.
You can go to – spend one hundred thousand dollars – and spend a couple of months in a rehab clinic and it still boils down to that.
Right? – Still boils down to that.
You can spend twenty years going to AA meetings and – it still boils down to that.
You can listen to video, after video, after video that I’m doing and – it still boils down to the same thing – you have to not put the alcohol into your mouth.
It’s hard work in the beginning.
You’re going to feel discomfort.
The discomfort is relative to the amount of alcohol that you put it; how long you’ve been doing it for; what you’ve been drinking; all this kind of stuff.
But it’s still only discomfort.
Discomfort is going to be relative to your physical strength.
It’s going to be relative to your mental strength.
But it’s still only discomfort and it’s still is only not putting the alcohol into your mouth.
And anybody can do that.
If you think about the whole nature of drinking
To getting to that stage where you’ve got a glass in your hand and you’re tipping the contents into your mouth and drinking it – one sip at a time.
There is a whole series of thoughts and actions that have happened before you got to that stage.
There is – you have to think about – you have to think about the cravings.
Then you have to make the decision that you’re going to act on the cravings and you have to physically get up off your arse.
And you’ve got to think about going; where you’re going to get the alcohol from.
If you’ve got to go and buy it, you’ve got to physically go out and get into your car and drive to the shop or the liquor store or whatever it is – the Pub.
And you’ve got to actually buy the stuff.
Then you’ve got to bring it home – if you’re drinking at home.
You’ve got to come all the way back and you’ve got to bring it into your kitchen.
You’ve got to go and search out your wine glass.
You’ve got to search out your corkscrew – if you’re drinking wine.
You’ve got to open up the contents.
You’ve got to pour it out.
You’ve got to do this.
And while you’re doing all this stuff, there is still a choice to be made.
You can still say – “I’m not doing this!” – you know?
Just because you’ve made the decision, you’ve got into the Car and you’re actually driving to the shop.
You can still have all that time that is taking you to drive to the shop and go – “Oh Fuck this!” – you know, and turn around and go back home.
You still have all that time.
Even after you’ve gone into the shop and you’ve brought the stuff – you still have the option of going – “What the fuck is this? I’ve just spent ten euros on this bottle of wine.”
And you have the option of fucking smashing it on the street, if you want to.
Throwing it into a bin.
Giving it to somebody else, you know?
Even if you get all the way back to your thing, and you’ve open the stuff and you’ve poured it into the bottle and you’re just about to put it into your mouth – you still have the option.
You still have the choice; you still have the mental capacity to make the decision not to do it or to do it.
Your habit is built on you making the other decision – to do it
Do you know what I mean?
But your breakdown of that habit is going to be built on your decision not to do it.
Every time you make a decision to do it, you’re building the habit – you’re creating the habit of drinking.
And you’re destroying the habit of not drinking.
So, I’m saying is that it doesn’t take long, it doesn’t take very much time to go through this.
A month and you’ll creating the ritual.
And it’s all about rituals and habits.
Your rituals build up your habits.
The behaviour of drinking every day is broken down within thirty days.
The habit might not be completely smashed and gone out of your life, but within thirty days you’ve brought it down to manageable rituals.
As I said in another video, once you get to that thirty days, you’ve established other habits that have sort of replaced what you’re doing.
You’ve gone through four full weeks, you’ve gone through four full work weeks, four full weekends, and this is all important stuff.
This is all important in the nature of habits and how they’re constructed or deconstructed.
I sort of say to everyone – “if you’re afraid of this. If you’re afraid of the consequences or if you’re afraid of how this is going to effect you in the long run – long term – if you’re afraid of that”…
A lot of people come into this and go – “Never drinking again – ever – is a scary thought.”
I totally agree.
Even now for me – right – no, not now, I couldn’t give a shit now – that’s not right to say.
But at the beginning I did think – “forever?”
Never being able to have a drink again.
And most of this comes from the fact that we don’t associate drinking with the alcohol.
We associate with what we’re doing while we’re drinking, going out and partying, having fun with our friends.
When you take our lives – when you get into the habit of drinking alcohol – alcohol sort of permeates various difference levels of our lives and different areas of our lives.
And it’s those areas of our lives that we are afraid of losing.
Don’t be afraid of that.
It’s something that you take gradually.
You replace gradually, you do one thing differently every day and it moves you away from the alcohol and into your new life.
That’s what I’m saying.
Never look back at what goes on behind you.
That’s all bullshit.
It’s all gone in the past – there’s nothing you can do about that.
Always focus your mind on the future – in making positive improvements – day after day after day.
And it’s those positive improvements that bring you into the future, and bring you into that new life.
As I say, I shouldn’t have said that in the beginning – that I still get that fear – because I don’t.
For me the fear of not ever drinking again – Brilliant! What a relief … you know…. I never have to drink again!
That’s just for me fantastic.
But at the beginning, as I say, it’s scary.
Take it as a thirty-day challenge
Just take it as – “I’m going to quit drinking for thirty days.”
And what happens after thirty days, is that you get to experience what life is like without alcohol for thirty days.
You get to go through those full work weeks.
You get to go through those week-ends.
You get to experience what it’s like to be with family and your friends, without alcohol.
You get what it’s like to get up for thirty mornings without a hang-over.
You get to experience what it’s like to go through a full day without that numbing effect, physical numbing effect and the mental towel over the brain syndrome, that you get from drinking alcohol.
You get to experience all the benefits of not drinking alcohol without actually putting yourself through the mind fuck of thinking I have to quit drinking forever.
Then after you’ve done thirty days – then make up your mind.
And I guarantee you that you’ll get so many benefits out of this, that you’ll want to carry on.
If that is in your mind and you realise the damage that you’re doing to your body – beforehand.
And if you go through some of the exercises that I’ve said to you about – writing down your reasons to quit, writing down the benefits that you’re quitting and keep/do a video of yourself and how you feel in it and sort of express yourself fully in that video about how you’re feeling as a drinker.
Then after the thirty days look at that video and think to yourself – “Do you want to go back to that?”
And it’s a lot easier to go from that experience, than it is to go from the non-experience of where you were thirty days ago.
When you’re starting out with this, the big problem is, if you’ve been drinking for a long time you might not remember what it was like to go through life, to go through a day without drinking or to go through a week without drinking or to not think as a drinker.
At least if you go through thirty days you have enough of that experience in mind, you’ve got enough of that experience underneath your belt for it to make a difference in your life.
The whole thing is to put yourself through the discomfort at the beginning.
Put yourself through that little bit of hard work that it’s got to take at the beginning and I guarantee you that life will get a lot easier.
So I’m going to end it there.
If you have any comments or questions, leave them down below.
Come on over to the website and sign up for the newsletter.
There’s a free course that goes with the newsletter, so as soon as you sign up for the course, I’ll send you the link to that.
It’s how to relax and distress without alcohol.
It’s a valuable, a lot of valuable tools in there.
A lot of stuff is common sense.
A lot of stuff I talk about is common sense, that we know already, but it’s in one place and yeah!
Get your hands on that just by putting in your email address and I’ll also send you out a video every day to help you in going through this journey.
Help you, you know, – for a whole year you’ll get a video from me every day – you’ll be sick of it by the end of the year, but there you go.
“Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit – Vince Lombardi”
Until next time…
Keep the alcohol out of your body
Take care of yourself
Onwards and Upwards!
Great video Kevin!
Thanks for making it so clear that it all boils down to not putting alcohol in your mouth and it’s easy ( relativity ) from there.
I’m sure glad that we you as have a positive role model to emulate.
After 5 weeks AF myself I can tell you that it is sure an enormous amount easier now than those first few days.
I wonder if “Onward and Upward” would be a good tattoo to get? ?
Thanks for the comment Gord and congrats on your 5 weeks. Maybe a t-shirt would be better than a tattoo, haha…
I tried once for more than a month.but it kept nagging in my mind and I started again drinking.I dont drink every day.sometimes one two or three days not and afterwards too much.mostly wine and some beers.I ve seen already a lot of your video’s.but my drinking pattern hasnt changed very much.although I must say I m not depressed I cant manage stop drinking.I m trying.I live alone here and drinking can be a sort of comfort although I know deep down it isnt.Thanks for your video’s.Greetings Rob G.
Hi Kevin, love you daily videos. I am sure I have put alcohol behind me now. Others might think I have only done 4 months and still lots of time for me to give up giving up.
Over Christmas a few well meaning friends have been reliving past funny events involving me and booze. The funniest thing they ever saw etc etc etc. I am not sure if this implies they think I am a little bit too sensible now I don’t drink?
I want to be clear I have no problem socializing, be it chatting, dancing, flirting. I am comfortable in any environment sober. So maybe there issue is that they still rely on alcohol and want me to also, who knows?
But what they don’t see is my internal operating platform. Of course I have problems don’t we all, but I no longer feel trapped by them. Not drinking has given me a boost and a massive zest for life, feelings I would not trade for all the tea in china, never mind a drink of that piss called alcohol. I don’t like to say this to others I don’t want to appear self righteous. But they do need to know they are being tricked out of their life.
Getting to this stage has been a bumpy ride at times. But it is the best and most worthwhile ride anyone can take. If you want the benefits you need to stop drinking altogether cutting down is just a life spent managing a drug habit. Stopping is surprisingly easy once your committed, a bit bumpy in parts, but there is nothing I can think of that gives this many benefits for what in reality amounts to stopping drinking a known poison.
To help support the great work you are doing Kevin, I have looked at Patreon, which I am sure is good way of supporting, but is there away I can make a one off payment ideally by bacs. that way I can put a little back as and when etc. If my support helped give even one person a chance to be alcohol free that would be great.
The more distance you put between yourself and your old life, the better chance for the rest of your life. Life in general can be bumpy at times. It’s the name of the game. Bumpy life means that your pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. And that’s the only place where you will ever achieve. There is a PayPal button in the sidebar if you want to make a one-time contribution. It’s all much appreciated… Thanks Mick
THIS was awesome Kevin!!! It really hit the spot for me and the scenery was lovely to see while I listened to your strength and wisdom! BRAVO and thank you so much. I think you have saved my life. I am a 63 yr old woman with a very active life and alcohol and smoking was a daily activity for me my entire adult life. While quitting both on and off I never really thought I could become happily sober, smober, and vegan…yes, all of those are now my new lifestyle and I have never been happier! Thanks to you I am looking forward to my fresh journey and not kicking myself for my past. You are such an inspiration with your no nonsense approach to a better life! If I ever met you I would have to give you a huge bear hug. I never begin my day without you!