Your darkest days can give you strength, they can bring you forwards and help you through any future dark day that may come up in your life; and I truly hope you don’t have many of them or better still, none at all.
The past is the past, you can only learn from it. I know it’s difficult, but you should never regret your past. It can influence and intimidate your future. Prepare for your future, you need to have a plan or you’re going to just spin in circles. But always live for today. It’s all you’ve really got.
We all have times in our life when things are not going right or when things are going horribly wrong. My Grandfather said “Behind every cloud there is a silver lining” and he was right – you have to look at these things as in as positive light as possible.
When I look back at my own darkest days, I see there were situations that I had no control over; my Parents dying, my Wife dying, these were things that were inevitable and were just going to happen.
My Wife dying was the darkest period of my life. More so than my Parents, you expect your Parents to die at some time in your life, but you don’t expect your Wife to die, especially so early. My Wife was taken early from our lives.
It hit me hard and sent me down a spiral of drinking and not giving a shit about much else in my life. I did some pretty stupid things back then, I did some pretty stupid things throughout my drinking career, but especially during that period.
There is no point at looking back at times with any perspective other than ‘how can I cope better if anything like that happens again in my life again?’ Regret is something I don’t want in my life, it only brings the pain from the past into the present – there is nothing to gain.
You can not learn from it or achieve anything positive, all you get is negatively and why would you want to do that?
We live in a beautiful world, in which shitty things can happen, but at the end of the day you make your own personal world as you want it to be and how you make it in your mind. There is a time when you can look back at your past, and you can look back at it from a point of learning, understanding and educating yourself. You can try and fix some of the pain you’ve caused to yourself or other people, that’s a good thing to do, but regret is a fools game. There is no point in it at all.
When you recognise the pain in yourself or other people, it makes you a stronger person, just understanding that kind of thinking makes you a worthy person. When I look back at some of the times that I’ve got through, sometimes, I think “Jesus! I was very weak” but other times I think “It takes a certain strength to go through times like that.”
Try and look at your past with as much of a positive lens as you possibly can. Nothing can be gained by looking at it negatively, it makes your positive thoughts negative and I’m all for trying to be positive, all of the time and trying to pick out the positive in every situation – even the worse situation.
You can try and find a positive, even through the most sorrowful times and I think you can learn something from them. I think it was Bruce Lee who said “You can see something better through a tear than a telescope”.
If you have any questions, leave them down below. If you want to sign up for the Alcohol Mastery Starter Park, which includes a couple of different courses and e-books go over to https://www.alcoholmastery.com, give us your name and email address and I’ll get it out to as soon as I can.
“My dark days made me strong, or maybe I was already strong and they made me prove it.”
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!
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Thank you for your wisdom.
We need nerves of steel sometimes in the situations !! I’ve spent 100s of sleepless nights thinking about the mistakes I’ve made the relationships i have screwed up !! sometimes its sooo poweful you just can’t get it out of your mind !! You need to let a period of time to go by and it slowly fades away but never completely .. Kevin thanks soo much for sharing your past with us .. It is very well appreciated .. Mitch
Thanks Kevin for your honesty.. Yes looking back in life was a great source turmoil for me and fuelled my drinking to no end. Wishing I could go back and change things, knowing I was powerless to change anything just sent me into depression and anger. Today I catch myself thinking about the past then try and bring myself to the present or focusing on future goals, Its a tough discipline, but you cant drive a car looking in the rear view mirrors”
Kevin – you have been a great help, guide and inspiration to me over the years. I am very sorry to hear of the sadness you endured and I am glad to see from your videos the happiness you have now found. Be assured you make a great difference to people. Thank you