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Alcohol: Want to Quit Now? You Are What You Focus On Most of the Time

by | Stop Drinking Alcohol | 11 comments

You are what you focus on most of the time.

So, you might as well focus on the positive.

Today, I want to talk about focus again.

You are what you focus on most of the time, so what’s the point of focusing on the negative?

If you focus on the negative, that’s what you’re going to be.

You’re going to turn into a negative person.

You’re going to have a negative outlook.

Your focus either affects everything or infects everything you do in your life.

There’s always a different perspective.

You can always put a different spin on anything you do in your life.

The most successful people in life, and I’m not talking about money here, I’m talking about everything, whether it’s money, religion, family or whatever it is that you want to do in life, the most successful people in life focus on the positive and not the negative.

They look at the past from the point of view of what went right for them, things that were successes in the past.

They don’t focus on the failures.

The only time they look at these failures is when they’re using it as an opportunity to learn something, to gain some new insight about themselves or the situation.

It’s the only reason that people will look at their past failures.

It’s taken me a long time to learn this lesson.

I’ve always looked at my past as being something of ‘I should’ve done this, I should’ve done that, if I’d have gone to college I’d have done this’ and you can drive yourself fucking mad with that kind of thinking.

It doesn’t lead anywhere.

You might as well say ‘I wish I’d been born in the middle ages or something, because you have as much chance of that happening as changing something that happened five minutes ago.

You just can’t.

There’s no possibility of changing.

You can only focus your mind on changing what you’re going to do now.

You can’t change anything tomorrow, you can’t change anything yesterday, you can only do it right now.

Life throws so many distractions at you.

Modern life, especially.

Maybe if you lived 100 years ago the distractions could’ve been less, but I still think your mind could’ve thrown up a million distractions without even breaking a sweat.

And, the whole purpose of things, the whole secret to personal success in life is to try and focus your energies on the thing that’s going to bring you closer to what’s going to bring you fulfilment.

I’m not talking about houses and cars or crap like that, I’m talking about inside, positive energy, positive fulfilment, stuff that will last you a lifetime.

I think a lot of people get towards that personal fulfilment every day by focusing on the next step that they need to take.

It’s alright to have a plan.

I love the idea that I can look into the future and go ‘this is where I want to be in 10 years’ time’.

But at the end of the day you can only focus on one thing at a time.

You can only look at what exactly is the next step I’m going to take.

When I’m out walking, my walk takes me from down around the bottom of the hill right around where you see the buildings there, and right around the top of the hill, it goes down for another 10 or 15…it’s a total of 14km to walk.

I can only do the walk as by taking this step and the next.

And the only thing I can do is to focus on the ground in front of me.

I’m not used to doing it.

I know the track very well, so it’s only a cursory glance.

But, as is life, if you’ve got yourself planned out; I know for instance that even though it’s the same track, it’s going to be a different day, different people on the route, you see different things.

I saw my first long, live snake the other day when I was out walking.

That’s after 3 ½ years doing this walk, about 4 years now.

All you can do is focus on the next step.

Once you know what the next step is, you can concentrate on that and work on the job in hand.

Get that done and figure out the next step, get that done and move on to the next one.

The direction that you choose to take is exactly that.

Your life is always going to be a choice.

If you don’t think it’s a choice, you’ve got a victim mind-set.

You’re a victim of somebody else’s choices or circumstances, or your past or your body.

These are just excuses for not doing something.

There are plenty of people who have overcome huge adversities.

Plenty of people who have gone ‘I’ve got no legs so what am I going to do now? I think I’ll climb Mount Everest.’

There are plenty of people who don’t take no for an answer, who look not at what’s stopping them from doing something but why not do something?

Your life is really going to go in the direction that you choose to go.

You can go forwards into your future or stay in your past and carry on drinking and doing the same shit that you’ve always done, knowing that it’s going to take you down a path that you don’t want to go but will go down anyway.

Because of your inability to fight, your victim mind-set saying ‘I can’t help it, it’s in my genes’. I was talking to someone, it was actually a comment from Jenny.

She was asking about one of her friends who had been a long term drinker for as long as she’d known her.

Jenny was asking if ‘is alcoholism a disease for some people?’

it’s an AA concept.

There’s no reason for alcohol being a disease before the AA was around.

They’ve certainly made it their own, and it’s a victim mentality.

People say ‘I can’t help it, it’s part of my disease’, well sorry but that’s bullshit.

You can help it.

You can stop doing it.

This person was getting a lot of symptoms and side effects and crazy shit that was happening to her when she would try to stop drinking.

And, the reality is, it’s not the alcohol, it’s the damage caused over the many years that the person has been drinking alcohol.

Alcohol is just an inert substance.

It cannot do anything on its own.

If you focus your mind on drinking alcohol, if that’s your relaxation or whatever you’re drinking alcohol for, if that’s your focus, then I’m sorry but this is going to be the consequences of your focus.

All the shit that I’ve caused in my body, those years of drinking and smoking that I put myself through, it’s all my fault.

I’m still suffering from the consequences of those choices to do that.

Both of these things I did, I started out when I was 13.

I wouldn’t go around now to any 13 year old and go ‘I’m having a bit of a problem here. I’m deciding where to go with my life, could you give me some advice?’

Yet, for over 30 years I lived with the decisions of that 13 year old that I used to be.

We do that to ourselves.

We think that because we’ve done something in the past, that we have to carry on doing it in the future. Because our ancestors did something, we have to continue to do it. Such horseshit.

You don’t have to do that.

You don’t have to do anything that you don’t decide to do right now.

Just because you’ve been smoking for 60 years, it doesn’t mean you have to reach down into your pocket and take that packet of cigarettes out and take one out and put it into your mouth and light it up and smoke it.

You can, if you choose, take out the packet of cigarettes and throw it into the bushes, into the trash and never buy another packet again.

It’s your choice.

As long as you start saying ‘I can’t quit drinking’, you’re a victim.

Your focus is not on what can’t be but on what can be.

You get to paint the picture of your life.

If you choose to paint a negative picture, or keep painting and you keep looking backwards.

Instead of doing that, you turn around and you have a little glance backwards at the painting that’s gone before.

But you are painting into a new canvas.

You’re painting into something new and you can put anything there, it’s a blank canvas.

It’s completely up to you what you put on that canvas.

I heard a good one a while ago.

This guy was talking about life and saying that it’s like a camera.

It’s up to you where you point it, where you focus your energies.

You can change the aperture by letting in more light or darkness.

It’s a positive negative thing.

You choose to zoom in on something and take a laser shot of that, or you can get a wider aspect and look at things from a wider point of view.

In the old days, we used to develop the negative.

It’s like some people’s lives, they do try and develop the negative.

Modern day cameras, you can take a shot and if you don’t like it, you can retake it again and again until you get it right.

That’s a good metaphor for a positive life.

Just because you’ve taken a snap doesn’t mean you have to keep it.

You can just press the delete button and get rid of that, move on to something else.

It’s up to you where you go in life.

It’s up to you what you focus your attention.

It’s up to you how much light you let or don’t let in.

How you frame your decisions is completely up to you.

I always try and look at my life through as much a positivity lens – not a rose coloured glasses- but I try and see myself in a more positive light that it’s just going to help my life.

I’ve only got 1 life, there’s no point in wasting any fucking minute of it trying to look at negative things.

Negativity makes me sort of sad, it brings me negative emotions.

I don’t like feeling negative emotions, I’d much rather feel positive.

That’s a choice.

There are times when I feel depressed but I have things in my toolbox that help me get rid of that now.

I don’t have to stay in that.

If you languish in a depressive attitude day after day, then that’s going to be the person that you’re building for yourself.

Regardless of what happens in your life, you build negativity.

Regardless of wat the doctor says, there’s no pill that will help you with that.

Because no matter how much you try and change your dopamine levels, the underlying problem is still there: your negativity.

There’s always a different way of looking at things.

You can look at things in a positive way or negative way.

That’s it for today, if you have any comments, leave them down below.

Come on over to the website and sign up for the newsletter.

There’s a free video course on how to relax.

It’s just a reminder.

I made it for myself to learn a bit about stuff.

It doesn’t cost you anything so sign up for the newsletter and you can have that.

I’m putting out daily videos now and some people are getting pissed off because they’re getting daily emails from me.

So, unsubscribe.

There’s a little button at the bottom of the email.

Do yourself a favour.

If you don’t want to get them, there’s no point in having them.

I don’t want to be pissing anyone off.

I don’t want to be putting negativity in anyone’s life.

Stay positive no matter what you do.

Stay positive.

Focus on the positive.

Focus on what attitude you can take right now to bring yourself forwards, onwards and upwards.

Until next time, stay safe, keep the alcohol out of your mouth.


Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!

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  1. Emma

    I love reading your daily transcripts. Gone from drinking every day of the week to twice a week with plans to stop altogether. Love todays transcript about positivity-well done.

  2. Tony B

    Hi Kevin 23 days for me today feeling better for it had some discomfort and pain but not as bad as I was thinking it would be and I’m eating now at proper times feeling focused and positive thanks for you advise and the videos Tony B….

  3. Sharon

    I think what you are doing and saying is brilliant. You help me everyday and I look forward to seeing you and hearing from you so please don’t stop. 🙂

  4. Donna

    Hi Kevin. I have had one week of freedom from wine. I kept trying to find things to occupy my mind.i keep reading your emails, so don’t stop sending them.they are a great support. Thanks

    • Kevin O'Hara

      I’ll keep them coming Donna 🙂

  5. Gail

    That’s pretty amazing comment – the phrase ‘freedom from wine’.

    I used to drink wine thinking it was giving me freedom, I was trapped instead.
    Makes me realize alcohol shops could be places of entrapment, likean animal lair.

    Peace, Gail

  6. Danielle Zagar

    awesome video, Kevin! Loved it! Thank you for all you do!

  7. Chris

    Kevin your work is inspirational I always think about what you said about hiding under the bed to avoid having a drink You have saved my life

  8. julie 22,May 2017

    Dear Kevin
    Hi really enjoy today’s talk I take strength in
    what you say please don’t stop doing your blogs.
    Kindest Regards Julie.

  9. Cat Preston

    I have to tell you how much you have helped me with my addictions. I apply your vids to nicotine and alcohol and I have been addiction free for going on 2 months. Thank you so much for taking the time to make these vids and do the research you have done to help this all make sense! We are all human and you really hit this issue spot on. Thank you for saving my life everyday!



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