Have you ever tried moderating alcohol? I turned it into a hobby all of it’s own. I was a regular thing for me. I suppose it’s a natural part of the process of quitting. If we were living in a society where our norms weren’t so primitive in terms of poisoning ourselves for a buzz, it would be an easier thing to do. But we are manipulated at every turn – self manipulation being the most insidious.
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The thing for me and moderation is that I could only control that when things were “good” and sometimes I wouldn’t even know that internally things for me were not ok at that time. I could have a problem that I thought I was managing well, then I’d have a glass or two of alcohol “in moderation” which lowered my inhibitions and it’s like a switch would flick, then I had no control. somewhere inside, by body decides it’s enjoying the release and next thing I know I’m waking up completely hungover feeling guilty and regretful about the night before which impacts the rest of the week.
I usually feel better about it all by the end of the week and the cycle continues.