Addicted or Bad Habit?

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 Addicted or Bad Habit?

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Kevin O'Hara

If you want help quitting drinking alcohol, I recommend you join our Mastermind Coaching Program. Here you will find all the help you need with daily exclusive informative videos, Q&A's, and monthly Roundtables on relevant topics. The Mastermind Coaching Group has many supportive members at various stages of their journey. Here you'll find non-judgemental motivation, support, and accountability. Click here for more information.

4 Comments

  • Brett

    Reply Reply October 16, 2015

    I’m in the U.S. I’m a productive member of my society. I go to work every day and make a decent salary. I’ve found in looking for some kind of treatment, whether it be in patient or out patient it’s too expensive. But yet in the U.S. a homeless unproductive piece can get treatment gratis. No problem. Shouldn’t I get help above and beyond the dregs? I’m producing something while they are happy to piss in an elevator. What’s your thoughts?

  • Heidi white

    Reply Reply October 19, 2015

    Having been to a treatment center long ago, I found it to be a waste of A LOT of money! I won’t say that I got nothing out of it, I did learn that I was a freaking mess! Duh!!! Big newsflash there!! But I’ve found this site and the closed FB group “onwards and upwards” to be much more helpful than my treatment center experience.
    To your point about the homeless getting free help, for me, I’d rather be grateful that I’m not in their shoes, because I could be one day. It’s also just one of those many things that I can’t change by being annoyed about. Anyway Brett, hang in there. I wish you the best.

  • Matt

    Reply Reply October 19, 2015

    Hi Brett,

    Just my two cents here…(that ended up being more like a wad of notes!)

    Imagine a 40 year old man who quit drinking alcohol for a myriad of health, personal and/or financial reasons. He quit drinking on the January 1st, 2000. The man lived till he was 80. Not a day passed where he didn’t ‘crave’ a fictional boss that flavoured Ethanol appeared to provide him with. He spent his remaining 40 years on Earth in a constant battle; hoping that he never touched a drop of thing he wanted so badly. He took the prescribed ‘one day at a time’ approach…leaving him in a permanent struggle. He died of natural causes shortly before Christmas in 2040. Even as his body weakened, he would often tell his wife “I haven’t drank for forty years”.

    Obviously, the above story is a fiction. But it’s not an uncommon tale that happens all the time in the so called “western world”. By taking the ‘one day at a time approach’… the only point at which you can ‘succeed’ is when you die. The old man above achieved ‘success’ as the last breath of life left his lungs. Is that not a hellish way to live?

    The reason I highlighted this, in reference to your question above…is simply because is that man any different to yourself, a ‘productive’ drinker or even different to the unproductive ‘dregs’ you refer to above?

    The man above IS different…but he doesn’t know it. He doesn’t drink, but still wishes he could and still places a fictional pleasure in this poisonous substance. So, physically, he is different…because he doesn’t ingest this poison. Mentally, he’s the same (if not arguably worse!).

    Stay with me, :-)…

    What I’d like to suggest, with reference to your question…is that until you purge this vile toxin from your mind and body, you yourself are essentially no different to those that you refer to as ‘unproductive’. This is not meant to cause offense…but it is a very important aspect when viewing the process of imbibing a poison.

    Have you ever heard people say (or even said yourself): “I’m not giving that homeless guy money! He’ll only spend it on booze.” I myself have thought and said similar things whilst carrying a litre of Jameson’s Whiskey in a shopping bag. How am I different?

    The lables that we place on ourselves and others spreads throughout society. You yourself have labelled yourself as a productive person, yet correctly realise you have a problem when it comes to ingesting a toxic poison.

    The difference between yourself and the ‘dregs’ is merely one of labels and current circumstance. It may well be that some of these ‘dregs’ who are given state rehab treatment have ended up in their situation for personal and/or irrelevant reasons. But I can guarantee, with some authority, that a good number of them will have turned to Alcohol following one or more of these:

    Family/relationship breakdown
    Death of a parter/spouse/sibling
    Financial ruin
    Job loss
    Illness (physical or mental)…

    The list is inexhaustible. And the sad fact is that every single one of the ‘reasons’ for turning to alochol is plainly available to yourself on any waking day. Anyone who seeks pleasure and/or refuge in alcohol will resort to drinking more when faced with a difficult situation.

    The ‘dregs’ that you refer to may have held a job similar or (labels-wise) more ‘senior’ than your own. They may have had (labels-wise) a similar house, family, car etc etc…until something imploded in their lives.

    For as long as you think you are better or ‘different’ to the downbeat drunk you are also reinforcing the biggest lie ever to plague the human race. Since birth we have been conditioned to believe that spending $300 on a bottle of ‘fine’ Champagne is ‘good living’…yet the dude on the park bench drinking $2 cheap strong cider is a ‘bum’. Take a look inside at the physical process involved in breaking down the poison and you’ll see it’s exactly the same. Your brain, your liver, your kidneys, your heart…and every other major organ and blood vessel don’t care that you think the Champagne is a sign of ‘good living’…they just want you to stop.

    The advantage that you have, right now, is that you haven’t reached that stage. I’m not suggesting you even would. I don’t have a crystal ball. But it is highly possible that anyone can be tipped over the edge at any point. And drinkers tend to seek solace in their crutch…with devasting results.

    A good quote that is often misused is this:

    Give me the serenity to accept what cannot be changed,
    The courage to change what can be changed,
    and the wisdom to know the one from the other.

    I have ommited the word God (hope he doesn’t smite me!!)…because this can be done on a personal level. It relates to your initial question. In your circumstance, you cannot change the procedures set in place by your government ragaring the treatment of alcohol related programmes. You cannot change that, only accept it for the way it is. It’s clearly wrong, and will hopefully change…but perhaps not even in your own lifetime.

    If you take the ‘lie’ for what it actually is, then it becomes more clear as to why you, currently a productive member of society, would have to pay expensive fees to receive treatment. It is because you, as a productive member of society, are funding the drug industry that is killing you. The downbeat ‘dreg’ is no use to the industry any longer. He/she is not a good promotional tool. There are no adverts on TV showing ‘dregs’ on a park bench. Yet, I’m sure you have many ‘party snaps’ on your phone and/or facebook etc, that are wonderful promotions for this poision. This is not some half-baked “Elvis is still alive” conspiracy theory…it is clear for the sober eyes to see. You are ‘good’ for the industry, so if you want to ‘leave’ the industry (by receiving treatment) then you must pay a fee and fund the medical service. The ‘bad adverts’ in the park drunk needs fixing asap (in the mind of the state and industry)…because they stand to shed light on a lie.

    Sorry for making this so long…it wasn’t my initial intention. I’m just very passionate about this subject. If it does cause you (or anyone reading) offense that I refer to you in the same breath as the ‘dregs’ and ‘drunks’ of society then I urge you to do some soul searching. Until you can see that you derive no genuine pleasure from this poison, you are still part of the lie.

    So, if you can, try to have some compassion for the ‘dregs’. No one knows the full circumstances of every individual. Don’t pity them, but try to accept that they are slaves to a poison and have simply lost all the tools to help them fight it. Your tools are ‘your job’, ‘your family’, ‘your commitments’ etc etc, but be aware that although it’s unlikely…life can take these away in a second…without warning. And when they’re gone…it’s likely that a drinker will turn to what they consider to be their best friend: an anaesthetic called alcohol.

    If you are a fully functional and productive member of society…then it’s more than likely you do not need any ‘treatment’. If you work your job, live your life, care for your family and pay your bills under this permanent fog of Ethanol, then you will be able to quit drinking this poison all on your own. It’s siply a matter for seeing it for what it is.

    I’ve said enough (again, apologies 🙂 Actually, no, screw that. I don’t apologise for speaking my mind on something so destructive. If an alien from planet Sparg (made up!) landed on earth and asked you to tell him all about humanity…you would have a hard time explaining many things. He would struggle to comprehend how fellow earthlings can be cold and alone on streets when there are empty houses. He would be baffled as to why we spend billions creating bombs to destroy others. He would find it fascinating that trees are the lungs of the earth…yet humans are destroying them. And when it comes to alcohol…WOW! Imagine his face when yoy tell him that humans cultivate and grow natural fruits. These fruits provide every single vitamin and mineral needed to sustain life. Watch his face when you tell him that humans wait for it to decay and rot. Watch his eyes widen when you tell him how we then spend all hour ‘money’ on drinking this rotten decayed fruit. How it makes us loud, silly, dizzy. How the next day we have a banging head and our bodies have been saturated of water. Watch him fly away from this crazy Earth when you explain how we do it again, and again, and again…and spend our whole lives wishing we didn’t ‘have’ to.

    Be kind to anyone who has fallen victim to this lie. We’re all potentially major one step of away from destruction. The good news is, with a bit of soul searching…and judging the lie for what it is…we’re all one easy step from seeing things clearly.

    I would wish you luck…but that’s useless. You don’t need luck. If you don’t ingest alcohol, it cannot affect you physically. And if you see it for the bulls*t it is…it cannot affect you mentally. Don’t quit and spend a life like the fictional man in my first paragraph. Quit and rejoice, from day one. And as each day throws up it’s inenvitable obstacles (that were also there when your drinking) ask yourself “would a drink make this any better”. Once you see the genuine truth…the answer is, 100% of the time, NO!

    Peace to you all, and hopefully one day, in a few generation time…we’ll have people reading about our madness in a history lesson. 🙂 I sincerely hope that’s the case.

    Kind regards

    Matt

  • Sunny

    Reply Reply November 10, 2015

    Hi,

    I found the above response very illuminating. I happen to be a lackadaisical drinker, meaning that I have no enthusiasm for alcohol. Sometimes I will ask for a drink in a social situation, but I often forget to finish it, because I can take it or leave it. In my youth I thought I was flawed, now I know I am definitely blessed.

    I do agree that any person sitting on the pavement may well have had a full and rewarding life before alcohol pulled him into the abyss. Who knows? Once you are a drinker, where is the cutoff?

    My husband enjoys one or two drinks when he comes home, and this has become a daily ritual. He did not used to have a daily drink. Now it’s usually two. He becomes very defensive if I ask him to take a day off – I have suddenly realized he cannot do it and be content. I am sure I am not handling this the right way at all. It has become a bone of contention between us.

    His habitual retort is – ok, no coffee for you, no sweets for you! It’s the very same thing!! How can he actually believe that a piece of candy is the equivalent of alcohol? By the way, my weight falls into normal range. It is my belief that wanting a drink at the same time every day is some kind of feature of alcohol addiction, no matter how low the dose. We are not young – our children are grown, he has a very good career that he loves, and I am a professional musician. I have never seen him drunk, but what little thing has to happen to push someone to a third drink or more?

    I realize that I am all the more annoying because I don’t drink. We actually love each other, even after all the push and pull of life and raising children. I enjoy and respect him, and I think he does me. But what are the beginnings of trouble? I myself think it’s needing a drink every day. I am certainly rocking the boat, that’s for sure. All would be smooth if I kept my mouth shut, but I have never been that person. I believe with all my heart that if he cannot be content without one drink before dinner, it’s still a low-level addiction.

    Any tips for the annoying wife?

    Sunny

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