One of the biggest problems that people who are drinking find when they’ve gone off the alcohol is that they have problems in socialising, in going to places where they know there’s going to be booze served.
This video is going to have a few tips on how you can deal with that.
This video is about 7 tips for things you can do when you get into those booze situations like parties, and what you can do to get out of it.
What you can do to save face and to survive the night.
We’ve all been there.
It was one of the hardest things for me, to go to these places, especially with people who weren’t really acceptable of what you were doing.
You’d get the nagging, the questioning, the stupid looks of ‘what do you mean you don’t drink? What fucking planet are you from?’
You get the people who all you have to do is look bored for 5 seconds, and they’d pounce on you and go ‘if you were drinking now, you wouldn’t be bored. You’re bored because you aren’t drinking so why don’t you have one?’
And then there are the people who quite calmly but condescendingly tell you ‘if you only calmed down a little bit, loosen up. One drink is not going to do you any harm. You’ll have a bit more fun’.
Then you have the people who just don’t give a fuck.
They’ll insult you.
They get angry ‘What do you mean you’re not drinking? Why? You sound kinda fucking arrogant. What is it?’
I’ve had all of that stuff. I
t’s not nice, but most of the time it’s just over the top of their heads.
Like water off a bald man’s head.
So here are some tips to overcome that, and try and help yourself out when you’re in those situations.
First tip is to push your own drinks.
What I mean is, bring your own stuff with you.
Bring a bag full of what you want to drink, and stuff you made up at home or stuff you bought and want to drink, or you buy the group you’re in.
You say ‘I don’t mind chipping in for a round. I’m not going to be in the group and net buy a round, but when it’s my turn, this is what I want to drink’.
It says you’re not against what they’re doing, you’re not saying it on grounds of morals but you’re doing it for your own reasons.
A lot of the time when you say you don’t drink…I’ve been like an arsehole about this before.
I’ve said I don’t drink because I’m thinking about my health or I’ve read too many books.
In all fairness, I like doing that every so often with the fucking push bastards when they’re sort of giving me a lot of stick about it, or someone is condescending.
I’ll do it then.
Or if someone is accusing me of being something I’m not, and that I haven’t got a handle on what I’m doing.
When they call you an alcoholic, it’s like ‘poor you. You can’t handle the drink’.
No, I can handle it fine. I don’t put it inside my body.
That’s when I get annoyed.
Maybe I shouldn’t.
I’m getting annoyed now.
Number 2 is health.
You can say you’re taking medication so you can’t drink.
You can say you’re getting up in the morning and you have to go to the gym and put a serious workout in the morning and you don’t want a hangover.
Another thing you can say is you’re driving.
Nobody can argue with that.
You’re the designated driver.
No one is going to argue with that.
A lot of people with you are going to be delighted because you can drive them home if you’re going to stay out till the end.
Most of the time when I go to a party now, I leave long before the others leave, so I don’t even entertain the other people home unless they want to come with me.
When I was drinking, the last thing I wanted to do when the early birds were leaving.
So, another one is to, for a personal thing, just look around.
Look around at the people there and realise you’re not the only one not drinking.
There are plenty of people there for a variety of reasons from health reasons; you might see some pregnant women who are not drinking.
You might see people who are also designated drivers.
You see people who for a variety of reasons are not taking the booze.
Another one is to say confidently, with assurance: I don’t drink.
Be firm and outspoken.
You don’t have to say it in a negative or nasty way, just put a smile on your face and say it.
One of the mistakes people make is they get defensive about their non-drinking.
I can attest to that, I’ve done it in the past.
Just say you don’t drink and that’s it.
You’ll get some shitty responses and some great responses off people.
Some people are going to say fair enough, and that’s the way it should be.
Other people are going to stick their fucking noses in and give you their point of view and stuff like that.
Over the top of your head. Let it go.
Finally, as a last resort, just fake it.
Get a can of beer, empty out the contents and put water in it and drink out of it.
Drink something which looks like alcohol and then use the other excuses and say you’re just having one because you have to get up in the morning.
If you get a tonic water and some ice cubes, then no one knows there’s no vodka or gin in it.
The more you get into this, the more you’re comfortable just saying you don’t drink.
I’ve no problem with that now 3 1/2 years later.
I don’t have to make any excuses.
But I know how difficult it is in the beginning, not only to get everyone else around you on the same page as you are, but to get yourself into a different state of mind, to actually say to yourself ‘I don’t drink anymore’, and to believe that.
These are just 7 things I hope will help you in whatever way to make a difference and not keep you isolated when you do stop drinking.
The first couple of weeks, it’s probably a good idea to avoid these places where there’s going to be a lot of drinking.
But you can’t isolate yourself for the rest of your life, you have to go out and have fun.
And there are going to be times because alcohol is so widespread and normalised in our society, when there are going to be people around you getting drink while you don’t drink.
Hopefully that gives you a bit of ammunition.
That’s it for today.
Stay safe, keep the alcohol out of your mouth.
KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!
Good one. I use a number of the suggestions, bring my own NA beer or sparkling water as a prop. Tell people straight out I don’t drink or use drugs, I’m driving, I hate waking up hungover. If they want to know why I tell them the truth, passing out in my own vomit, soiling myself, ending up in the hospital for OD’ing on alcohol Sometimes if they are assholes about, it I ask them how much they usually drink. Nearly always it is a lot less than I did when drinking. You are not even in my league buddy.
Initially I was surprised that the really heavy drinkers almost never give me any crap about not drinking. I usually get a good for you or I stopped for a number of months, things like that. It’s the moderate drinkers drinkers who seem more judgemental. I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t drink. Me -“I don’t trust anyone who does” You’re boring. Me-“I find drunks to be extremely boring” I don’t try to defend myself and throw their comments back at them. They are just acquaintances anyway. My real friends and family are all supportive. They know what I have been through and what I put them through.