Today’s video talks about how you should stop complaining about what is happening to you when you’re quitting booze. Everything that is happening to you is the result of your actions, taking swallow after swallow of this toxinous substance. So, who are you complaining about? Just get on with it. Stop complaining that it’s too hard, that you can’t stand it, and get on with getting on with your life. Here’s some tips on how to stop complaining.
How are you doing? I’m Kevin O’Hara for alcoholmastery.com.
Today’s topic is a few ways that you can stop complaining and get a move on with your life.
We’ve all got stuff that we can complain about every one of us.
But nearly everything we complain about, about 99.99%, is something we can do something about but haven’t done anything about.
We’ve chosen not to do anything about these things.
We’ve chosen that we’re not going to do things.
Not doing something about something when you want to do something about it, or when you feel you need to do something about it, is making a choice.
You might not think about it that way, but it is.
You’ve got the ability to stop drinking alcohol.
It’s not anything special.
You just don’t put the alcohol into your body anymore.
That’s it, period.
It’s got its risks, quitting drinking.
You run the risk of being bored.
You run the risk of being an outcast from the people you used to socialise with.
You run the risk of being judged by other people.
But, who gives a fuck about those things?
You’ve got a choice to be bored or not to be bored.
If you’re being judged by people, then that’s their judgment and who cares about that?
As far as socialisation goes, you’ve got to think about these things from the perspective of what the best thing for you to do in any circumstance is.
What’s the best thing to do in your life?
Is it to carry on drinking this toxin, or is it to stop drinking this toxin and find new friends?
Other things that we run a risk of doing are feeling discomfort.
We don’t like that, feeling the awfulness of having to think for a change, and having to do something that’s different, disappointing people we love.
Quitting drinking can sometimes disappoint the people that you’re with because you’re upsetting their picture.
You’re putting how they see the world on the background.
You’re putting yourself forwards.
You’re putting yourself first.
And, you’re putting whatever they think into the background.
There are certain risks to this.
But what’s the risk of not doing it and carrying on with what you’re doing.
That risk is far worse than if you quit drinking.
Basically, what you’re doing if you carry on drinking is you’re holding on to the status quo.
You’re holding on to the thing you have.
But, this is a drug.
This is something that is going to take you downhill, not uphill.
It’s not going to give you anything special in your life.
All it’s going to do is take.
You’re handicapping your life.
The more you drink, the more handicapped you become.
Self inflicted handicap.
The first way of getting out of this is by using your brain.
There’s no other way around this.
You have to adjust your thinking.
You have to listen to yourself when you complain.
Listen to the type of thing you complain about.
I know it’s difficult, but it’s the only way to change things.
The only way to change things on the outside is to change things first on the inside.
Once you change things on the inside, once you change your thought pattern, then you can begin to change how you see and do things on the outside world, and you can change your behaviour.
So, first thing is to be open to your conscious awareness, to stop what you’re doing and to realise that this is something you have control over.
Say it to yourself, shout it if you have to.
Realise that you don’t have to carry on with this way of thinking.
A lot of the time people complain because they don’t have things in their own life that they should be grateful for.
I get it.
I’ve been there.
I’ve been in that place where I felt like my life was just going downhill.
I wasn’t getting anywhere no matter what I tried to do.
It was always one step forward and two back. T
hat’s painful to do. It’s painful to think that way.
I can vouch for people.
Having your circumstances and the way your life is going affect the way you think becomes habitual.
It becomes a part of a downward spiral.
Another way of doing this is to try and think about the things you’re grateful for.
I love the American tradition of Thanksgiving.
I don’t really understand it from an American perspective.
I get what it’s about, you’re thanking whatever for whatever.
It’s a great thing to sit back every so often and have gratitude for the things you have in your life.
That’s one of the things people should do a lot more of.
People are a lot easier in mind to pursue things that they haven’t got.
Not many people actually sit down and spend any amount of time thinking about the things they have.
Write it down and take it with you every so often.
One of the courses I did, I talked about making a gratitude box, or a smile file where you have everything, photographs of people or things you’ve seen, things you’ve done.
It’s a personal collection of things, and when you take it out, it makes you smile.
It gives you a laugh.
One of my things I do at the moment is just a very simple picture of my granddaughter on my phone.
It’s a funny picture and the two of them are just looking at the camera in a very strange way.
It’s a funny picture and it makes me laugh, and every time I open my phone, I see that.
It could be anything but it’s something to snap you out of the complaining mood.
I think that’s part of the solution for any negative problem you have in your life.
Replace it with a positive thing.
It’s the same with habits.
Get yourself out of the bad habits, it takes an awful lot longer time than taking out a smile file, but it’s the same principle.
You’re eliminating one and replacing it with something better.
A third way of doing this is to accept 100% responsibility for everything you’re complaining about.
Remember that everything you complain about, most of it is something you can do something about but you’ve chosen not to.
You either do something about it, get up off your arse, or avoid it.
There is no other way of doing this.
People complain about the weather.
People complain about the NEWS, about what some dictator is doing ten thousand miles away, about what the president is doing.
There’s nothing you can do about that.
It’s done and dusted.
What can you do about that.
If you think you can do something about it, then get up and do it.
But otherwise, it’s just useless complaining.
All it’s doing is bringing you down and taking you away from the place you want to be and bringing you into a negative place.
We’ve only got 24 hours in a day.
You can use that time to be constructive, to do something for yourself in a constructive way, or you can use that time to be negative and complain and bitch about things, especially things you can do nothing about.
If you can do something about it, do it.
Otherwise, ignore it and move on to something you can do something about.
That’s what 100% responsibility is.
You are responsible for whatever comes out of your mouth.
That includes paying attention to things that don’t deserve your attention, or that you can’t do anything about.
The next one is, don’t be afraid to vent every so often.
We all need to vent.
If we try to suppress these emotions of anger or things we feel are bothering us, then these things can build up inside us and cause more problems.
I’m not taking about insulting someone or degrading someone else just so that you can vent.
I’m talking about going to someone who you know will listen for 5 or 10 minutes.
Get it all out and don’t let it fester.
I know sometimes all you need is a life coach or a therapist.
Don’t be afraid to get it all out in the open and don’t feel guilty about having these feelings.
Don’t be feeling guilty about needing to vent.
The last one is, you’ve got to get it out into the open and into reality.
Start thinking about it form the perspective of, is this worth me complaining about?
Do I need to complain about this?
Is there something I can do about this?
If yes, then am I going to do it?
If no, then why am I complaining about it?
Finally, care for yourself.
You have to do it because no one else will.
Exercise, get out walking.
Get out somewhere you can think, where you can move your body and get your breath right and just breathe in the natural surroundings.
This is a wonderful place that we live.
I know not everyone has got such great surroundings, but you have to make do with what you have.
I love walking down the city street as well.
I prefer not to walk down the city street if I can help it, but that’s why I live in the country, you know.
I don’t live in the city because I don’t like that.
It’s not my thing.
I feel claustrophobic.
But, exercise is exercise.
Get out to the gym if you have to.
Get on to treadmill or a running machine.
But, motion changes emotion.
That’s all you need sometimes.
Same thing with your nutrition.
You are what you feed yourself.
If you feed yourself crap, then guess where your thoughts are going? Your brain takes up 25% of your body’s energy.
Your body can only get energy from one place, that’s the stuff you eat.
Give it a good shot.
Choose your food wisely.
Same thing as finding space to do the things you need to do.
Every one of us needs quiet time.
We need time on our own.
We also need time with other people, people we care about who care about us.
I’m introverted, so I’m one of those people who build up their energy levels from being on their own, thinking.
I expend a lot of energy being with other people.
There are certain people I can be around for a long time without it being a problem.
They are my family and friends.
But even so, if I’m with too many people, it takes a lot of my energy away.
But, the opposite is true if you’re an extrovert.
You feed yourself from being with other people.
You expend a lot of energy form being on your own.
It all depends on who you are.
We all need that time on our own to be quiet, to chill out and do the things we like to do.
At the end of the day, what would you rather do?
Complain or smile?
Would o rather frown or smile?
Would you rather be complaining or be looking at things in your life that you’re thankful for?
I know which side I’d rather be on.
Some people just like complaining.
And if you’re one of them, then you shouldn’t be watching this video.
The first thing you have to do is to alter your thinking and realise what you’re complaining about.
Listen to your thoughts.
Before you can stop the thinking, you have to understand it.
The second thing is to make a list of the things you’re grateful for.
Number 3 is don’t be afraid to vent.
We all have to vent every so often.
Number 4 is to be 100% responsible.
Most of the complaining that we do is for stuff we have a choice in.
We complain about things that we can alter but choose not to.
Making that distinction is important.
Can you do something about this?
If yes, then why are you not doing it?
If you can do it, get up and do it.
If you can’t, then why are you worrying about it?
We’ve only got 24 hours in a day so don’t be wasting time thinking about things you have no control over.
The final thing is to take care of yourself both physically and mentally.
Eat good food.
Take care of yourself.
I’ll leave it there for now.
Come on over to the website if you want to get our free gift of Quit Alcohol starter pack which includes lots of videos and some books.
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Until next time, take care, stay safe, stop the bitching. You’re the only one that suffers from it.
COMPLAINING IS DRAINING
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!