One of the most common themes among people who are quitting, especially in the first few days is the fear of failure. Here’s a few things you should know about failing.
1. Failing can make you doubt your abilities to quit
If you are going through the process of quitting alcohol and you take a drink, it can often seem that you’re right back to where you started from, that you’ve just wasted all that time and energy that you spent quitting in the first place. More damaging are negative thoughts about your abilities to get through the process. This type of failure can lead you to question other areas in your life, your willpower, your strength, even your intelligence.
As in most things in life, knowledge about these doubts can help you to see things from a more realistic viewpoint. One failure, or ten failures for that matter, does not say anything about your abilities to succeed in this new journey, it just means you haven’t got there yet.
2. Failing can increase your feelings of helplessness
Failure can be wounding. Your pride and your confidence can take a big hit. You might even feel helpless in the face of something which is just bigger that you, believing all the bullshit about being an alcoholic for life. It might seem easier to just give up giving up than to keep trying, failing, and feeling like you’ve been harmed by the whole experience. Don’t listen to these failings. This is not your alcoholism talking, it’s not the ‘alcohol voice’, it’s your natural defense system trying to prevent you from being harmed. Fortunately, you can easily overcome these feelings by just ignoring them, looking for the positives in every situation, and getting back up off your arse and right back into your journey.
3. Failure can subconsciously cause you to begin fearing future failure
If you follow the advice that I’m giving you throughout Alcohol Mastery’s videos, you will get yourself organized and let people know that you are quitting before you quit. Telling your nearest and dearest gives you much better leverage against yourself when things start to get a little uncomfortable. But when you fail, it can be hard to face these people again. This, among other things, can lead to a fear of failure itself which can prevent you from continuing on with your journey. It’s called self-sabotage. You can overcome this by understanding why you failed, being laser-focused on why you want alcohol out of your life, and by reminding yourself that your future regrets about not quitting in this moment can be far more painful than the any negative implications that your taking from your present failure.
4. You can pass on these failure feelings to others around you
Being in pain, even if its the psychological wounding that you feel through failing, can bring you down, make you distrust yourself and your capabilities. More importantly, it can reduce your self-respect. These feelings can affect your relationships with others. How you react to failure can especially impact on your children. If you pass off the notion that any failure is unacceptable, what kind of message is that giving to them. To avoid this, never look at failure as defeat. It’s just a bump in the road. Get over the bump and keep moving onwards.
5. Failing can socially defeating
We live in a culture that doesn’t reward failure or defeat. We prize winning above and beyond everything else. 2nd place is for losers. But success in life is all about failing sometimes. Think about how difficult it must have been learning how to walk. How many times did you try just to stand on your own two feet before you succeeded. How many times did you fall back on your arse? Did you think you were a failure? The fact is that in those early years you don’t even know what failing is until someone points it out. Like most other abstract word used in our language, the interpretation of failure is a mile-wide. Life does reward your failures. Once learn from your mistakes and you get up to try again, and again, and again, you will eventually be rewarded by success. Look at the famous example of Thomas Edison who failed over 1000 times before he found his prototype light bulb. Afterwards, Edison said “I didn’t fail 1,000 times, the light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”
You have to understand that everybody fails at one time or another. In fact, some of the most successful people on the planet have failed more than anyone else. They are dogged in their attempts, they never give up. They rack up their failures one after the other because they don’t see them as defeats, they see them as steps leading to their eventual prize. They are successful in spite of their failures. In fact, they are successful because they failed, stood back up, learned from their mistakes, and repeated the process with minor changes, over and over again, until they succeeded.
So your failure is a part of your success.
Search for the Positive Meaning
Bill Gates says “It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”
Albert Einstein, one of the most brilliant minds of our time, had many setbacks… he defined success as failure in progress.
Failure is life’s greatest teacher. It’s an unwanted teacher because it can make you feel like shit, no doubt about it, but the fact is that you need to learn from each failure if you want to succeed.
If you have gone a week, two weeks, a month, six months without drinking and you slip under pressure and take one drink, examine what happened and don’t repeat it. Think things through. Go back over the videos on Alcohol Mastery until you’ve got your mind back on track. There is no such thing as starting all over again. You start out just where you left off. Think about all that poison that YOU succeeded in not putting in YOUR body over all the time you weren’t drinking. That’s huge. One slip doesn’t take that away. Learn from the slip, get back onto the road, and continue to have great faith in yourself that you can do this, and that this is worth doing. Then you will succeed!
Thanks for visiting the site.
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!