So I got a question off a guy through email and he was basically asking ‘how do I remember the shit feeling of when I started once I’ve stopped for a 100 days? How do I remember how bad it felt to be drinking?
Today, I wanted to address a question I got from email and this guy wanted to know exactly how do you remember what it felt like when you were drinking alcohol?
It’s the same thing someone might ask, ‘how do I remember what it feels like to be fat once I’ve lost all the weight? How do I remember how to be a smoker once I’ve stopped smoking for a long time?’
I always recommend that people make a video of themselves in the early days if possible before they stop drinking, while they’re drinking.
Not necessarily when they’re pissed because that could be one aspect of it.
If you do make a video, make a video when you’re sober and you’re talking about the effects because when you’re drunk, sometimes you can be happy about what you’re doing because you’re doing what you want to be doing.
You can make a video of yourself drunk if you want to but also make one while you’re sober, because being sober you understand the consequences of your drinking, you understand why your thoughts are like that and you’re wanting to stop drinking in the first place.
Basically, be honest with yourself.
Talk to yourself.
Talk to the future person whatever it is, 100 days in advance of a year down the line.
Talk to that person who hasn’t had a drink for a year and tell that person what it’s like to be what you are now.
Memory is not a great thing in terms of remembering exactly where you are.
Memories tend to change as we go on, as we live.
We tend to manufacture some of our memories, embellish them and that can be dangerous in certain ways.
But what you’re trying to do here is you’re trying to get an instance of time, your own time and space, and you’re saying to yourself ‘this is who I am at this time in my life.
This is how much alcohol I consume.
This is what it’s doing to my life, this is how it’s affecting me and my relationships, my finances.
How much time am I spending on the booze and how it’s affecting my life’ or whatever.
Say what comes to mind but speak to that person in future.
When you do get a time when you’re 100 days down the road or a year down the road, I understand that a lot of people fail at this time because they think ‘I don’t remember what it feels like to have the pain of that’.
It’s like when you have a toothache and all you want to do is get to the dentist to get rid of the tooth, but if you go to sleep and you wake up the next morning and the pain is gone, then so is the thought of going to the dentist.
It’s the same principle here, once the pain is gone out of your life and once you start building again, your job is getting better, your relationship is getting better, all these aspects of your life are starting to improve and you don’t feel that same physical, mental pain anymore, then it can be easy to backtrack and say ‘well, I can control it now. Maybe I can go back’.
That’s what this person is talking about, they don’t want to go back but they’re afraid that because they’ve lost the original pain that they’re going to go back to their old lives.
I think when you’re on a track, you make it so that drinking and your new life are mutually exclusive.
You can’t go from one to the other.
You can’t have your new life and drink as well.
You just make it so that stopping drinking is inevitable.
If you make it to that stage, then you will never drink again no matter what happens.
That’s what I’m doing in my life.
I’m making it so that every single day I can never drink again.
I will never touch a fucking drop because it’s going to ruin so many things in my life.
And so long as I keep focusing on the future and the good things in life, then that will never happen.
The risk is in counting the days that I have to address you as well.
I get a lot of people that say they do the day counting thing and for whatever reason, they have a slip.
Maybe something tragic happens in their lives and is so stressful that they succumb, and then they think they’re all the way back to Day 1 again.
That’s not true because it’s an all or nothing attitude.
If you do slip and you’re at Day 100, you don’t go back to Day 1 again.
You’re at the same place that you were except you took a drink.
You start off on Day 101 again.
Think about it, all those things that you’ve done in those 100 days, all the alcohol that hasn’t gone into your body, all the progress that you’ve made in your life, that’s still there.
All you’ve done is had a slip-up. So you have to sit down, think about it and why you did it, and take it seriously and make sure it never happens again, but it’s not back to the same starting line again.
You’re still 100 days into this non-drinking.
You can start Day 1 figuratively speaking.
You can say ‘I haven’t had a drink in 100 days but I did take a drink, so I’m taking myself back to counting from Day1 again, but I’m 100 days progressed into my new life and I don’t have to start the beginning again’.
That’s just 2 tips for today’s video.
But, making a video for yourself, I think that should be a priority for everyone.
You don’t have to show it to anyone.
You can keep it to yourself, and when you feel the urge, you need to take out the video.
You’ve got someone there. You’ve got someone from your past, your old self talking to you and saying to you ‘this is who I was, this is who I don’t want to be again, so please don’t do that’.
Give these messages to yourself when you’re making a video.
Give the message to yourself that this is the person that you don’t want to go back to being again.
I’m telling you, it’s powerful to watch yourself, listen to yourself talk because you won’t remember that.
You’ll remember making a video but you won’t remember the details. It’s good stuff that will stick in your head.
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EMBRACE YOUR DREAMS. FOLLOW YOUR HEART. CHERISH YOUR LIFE.
Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!
71 days sober 34 Year’s of age and currently using Antabuse and approaching 100 days. You just changed my life.
Memory’s. Thoughts. Life. Great fullness. Time. This is who I am. I don’t want to go backwards.